Ninth turn!
England; the Dark Ages; Castle Lombard; shortly after the hour of the toad. "Doctors are for weaklings" Maynard would say if conscious, but he is not, you might be able to sneak a bit of doctoring in there if you do not tell him
Sir Meynard the Sure lies blasted upon the windswept heath, his leg all mangled and his mind all elsewhere, his body still and silent before the worried Maddy, Professional Falcon Handler. Maddy thinks that perhaps he should call for a doctor to attend to his master’s mangled leg; alas: for he cannot find one outside the castle walls [2]. He tears some strips from his woolen shirt and attempts to bandage the wounds, but as he pushes a bone back into the lower leg area, the pain awakens Sir Meynard in a spasm of fury: he strikes Maddy full upon the face, rendering him unconscious!
Wound Acquired! Broken leg!Sir Keardwall, not about to let the foul deeds of these frenchmen go without a good solid tongue-lash, holds one restraining arm before Sir Conchobar as he stares down the enemy from where they stand, just inside the castle.
With that out of the way, he shall chaaaaarge, sword swinging to end their pitiful existences and send them screaming to the afterlife! There shall be no mercy for these blasphemers!
Staring hard at the enemy,
Sir Keardwall restrains his companion Conchobar before launching into a long winded but noble speech on the subject of his awful enemies’ impending demise.
"You mangy curs! You feeble-minded vinegar-swilling dogs! You have spat upon all that is good and Holy, bared your unworthy buttocks towards God himself, and damned yourselves to an eternity in a place darker than night and more swelteringly hot than a Jerusalem Tavern! Make your peace with God, for shortly you shall meet Him! ...Tell Him Sir Alan Keardwall said he-!"
Before Sir Keardwall can fully finish, the Frenchtypes charge! [init vs Frenchtypes 2 vs 5]
The great castle doors are large enough to fight fully four men abreast, and thusly do the Frenchmen fight: two with halberds storm directly at Sir Keardwall. One trips and impales his halberd in the ground, disarming himself and straining his left wrist quite severely! The second strikes a vicious blow that Sir Keardwall cannot dodge! It bounces off his shining armour!
“-llo, I was going to say, you blasted fiends!” finishes Sir Keardwall the Stony and Verbose, Defeater of Bandits, “Blast you!”
He sets about the armed man first, raising his sword for an almighty blow [1]. It gets stuck in the top of the doorframe! He is disarmed! As the other Frenchman wrestles with his halberd, trying to drag it free out of the ground, Sir Keardwall offers him a hearty punch with his armoured gauntlet, knocking him to the floor [5].
Sir Conchobar begins the cleaving of the frenchmen, allowing them to get a full view of the face of the man that will end them.
Whilst chafing at the Keardwall-imposed bit,
Sir Conchobar has time to reveal his gruesomeness, and lifts his visor just as the enemy doth charge. They reach him before he readies his man-weapon Fiddles, and neither sees his face in time to be repulsed! [init vs French men-at-arms 2 vs 4] [physical repulsion rolls 1, 3]. The first Frenchman lays about Sir Conchobar with his sword: he strikes a grievous blow! The brave knight tries to dodge, but is weighed down by his mighty weapon: his finger is sliced apart! The second Frenchman continues the unrelenting assault, and tries to bash the momentarily discouraged Sir Conchobar with his shield. He strikes Conchobar in the face! The shield shatters!
It is now the turn of the brave Knight of Camelot to reassert the rightful nature of things: he swings Fiddles about him in a doomly circle, striking the first French soldier with all his force! He ducks! But the fearsome weapon flies on, battering into the second Frenchman [6], sending him flying into the ranks of the soldiers behind, leaving one stunned and another mortally crushed. The second Frenchman’s spine is split! He is struck down! There are two disarmed and two armed French men-at-arms left holding out in the castle entrance; they look appalled.
Wound Acquired! Sliced Apart Finger!
Sir Feyman would pretend to be the best of cows, being led out to the market! This ruse not need to last long. And, once at the market, he could escape, and perhaps inquire about the REAL grail! It seems unlikely the French would store a replica if they had the real thing...
Busy pretending to be a cow in the hope of being led to market and freedom,
Sir Feyman the Judging, Slayer of the Black Knight moos gently inside the castle as a French artillery operator lead him away with the other cattle and geese. He is veritably a convincing beast [6]. Not terribly knowledgeable in the ways of farming – he was, after all, a grand land
owner, not a land
worker – Sir Feyman lets himself be led into the small basket-like container that is attached so some sort of pulley system.
One supposes they must have some way of measuring the weight and the worth of cattle before they are sold, he muses to himself, interested in the intricacies of an industry he has never had the occasion to see at close hand. He gently moos.
“Prepare the trebuchet for firing at the besieging English cochon-chiens!” he hears, from within the warm comfort of his cowsuit, amongst the other bustle of war breaking out in the castle courtyard. He waits to be led away to market.
Suddenly there is a loud twannnnnnnnnng, and he realises with a jolt of apprehension that he has become airborne! He has been launched over the castle walls! With a worried and drawn out moo, he flies through the air, aimed with expertise at the besieging English forces which adorn the castle grounds outside. The stricken
Sir Meynard the Sure watches in horror from his prone position, seeing the dastardly French resort to flinging cattle at the brave English! He watches in horror as the aforementioned cattle approaches! He cringes in terror as the flying cow blocks out the sun! His loud shouts awaken the unconscious Maddy, who stumbles to his feet, and cringes in fright himself as he turns to see the approaching cow.
Sir Meynard gasps in shock as the airborne bovine ceases to be airborne, and lands upon the hapless Maddy! Maddy’s liver is crushed! His pancreas is punctured! He is struck down!
Sir Meynard trembles in pain and grief as the lifeless Maddy collapses upon his mangled leg!
Inside his cowsuit, Sir Feyman moos in quiet and lightly stunned confusion.
Sir Meynard: Retainer Lost! Maddy the Falcon Handler has been struck down!Name: Sir Keardwall the Stony, Defeater of Bandits.
Bio: So named for his rather unyielding demeanour towards his foes, and those of God and the King, Sir Keardwall the Stony was a natural choice for such a quest as this. Bearing a near-permanent frown, stout forehead and a square, manly beard, not to mention his well-kept armour, Sir Keardwell is the very picture of courage and skill-at-arms.
Enjoys fighting for King and Country, feasting heartily, and glaring stonily at those who cross him. Apart from his lance he wields a broadsword and a shield, upon which is displayed his family's crest, which involves a castle on a mountain guarded by a red dragon. He would never dream of refusing such a mission from his Lord, but of course the sorry state of his financial affairs offered an extra incentive to set out on this grand journey. After all, what born warrior would wish to be cooped up in a castle all day, counting tithes and taxes when he could be out doing great deeds?!
Traits Fearsome frown of fierceness, loud voice.
Retinue Member: Standard Bearer, Gertad Brownfoot. Old fellow who faithfully follows Sir Keardwall on his travels on a small pony, bearing the noble Knight's coat-of-arms for all to see. Always glad to recite a few of his Lord's deeds for any audience, he speaks sweeter still when his tongue is greased with alcohol.
Chivalry: 2.
Arm Wrestles Won: 0/1.[/
Name: Sir Meynard the Sure
Bio: Meynard is not sure because he always knows, He is the other kind of sure. If he decides on a task, he will keep on trying until he succeeds, or there is incontrovertible proof that it is no longer possible. He Wields his great Warhammer "Drakhen" in the crucible of battle.
Deceased Retinue Member: Maddy, the Falcon Handler; Long time companion of Meynard, Maddy was entrusted with the knights Falcon, who he took everywhere.
Chivalry: 2.
Drinking Challenges Won: 0/1.
Wound Acquired! Broken leg.
Falcon Handlers: 0/1.
Name: Sir Feyman the Judging, Slayer of the Black Knight
Bio: Sir Feyman gladly accepts his role in any quests, but is always suspicious of the motives of his fellow questers. He likes to play music, but doesn't have the opportunity very often. He fights with swords, but doesn't get too attached to his equipment.
Deceased Retinue Member: Maine the shy Minstrel. He usually followed Feyman around, blindly agreeing with him, even though he taught Feyman many things, including how to play music.
Chivalry: 4.
Duels Won: 1/1.
Arms: 1/2.
Minstrels: 0/1.
Name: Sir Conchobar the Gruesome
Bio: The stuff of legends, Conchobar is feared throughout the world. Not because of his deeds mind you, but because of his legendary ugliness. He is said to be so ugly that the heads of lesser men have shattered in his presence. It is also notable that his favored weapon is a man wearing spiked armor named Fiddles.
Traits: Unimaginably intimidating. Ridiculously ugly.
Retinue member: Fiddles the man club.
Chivalry: 3.
Arm Wrestles Won: 1/1.
Wound Acquired Sliced Apart Finger.
Author
Topic: Roll to Seek the Grail! (Read 50987 times)