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Author Topic: Roll to Seek the Grail!  (Read 50959 times)

lawastooshort

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn Two: Knights Fall!
« Reply #30 on: October 14, 2011, 05:14:19 pm »

Second Turn!
England; the Dark Ages; by a bridge; shortly after half four in the afternoon.

 
Begin shouting Incomprehensibly and gesturing behind him with great urgency.

Sir Conchobar the Gruesome begins shouting incomprehensibly, waving his arms in a flurry of ugliness and gesturing behind the Black Knight with considerable urgency [5]. It is not immediately clear what this achieves; the Black Knight is stoic beneath his steel helmet. Perhaps he is flustered, perhaps he is worried: one cannot tell.
 
Challenge the black knight ... to a DRINKING contest

[Init vs Sir Feyman=6 vs 5]
 
“Noble Knight!” announces Sir Meynard the Sure, “I and my companions must pass: we are on the God-granted quest to find the Holy Grail.”
 
No reply comes from within the Black Knight’s steely mask.
 
“Being Wise and Chivalrous beyond the ken of normal men, I abhor violence: I thusly challenge you… to a DRINKING contest.”
 
Still no sound breaks the Black Knight’s impenetrable wall of silence.
 
“With… Ale!”
 
“Oh, all right then,” suddenly replies the Black Knight, “Here, come and take a seat in my tent. I do quite fancy a pint.”
 
Sir Meynard and the Black Knight cross the bridge to the fearsome stranger’s tent beside it, and the Black Knight shows Sir Meynard the row of barrels beside his meager belongings. They are filled with Ale. Black Ale. Strong and tasty Black Ale, thick like the very coal of Yorkshire itself. At the Black Knight’s beckoning, Sir Meynard sits. The Black Knight does likewise, and, opening a barrel, passes it silently over the table to Sir Meynard. He opens another, and, at Sir Meynard’s signal, the two Knights begin to drink.

...   ...   ...   ...   ...   ...
 
Around an hour later, the bored companions of Sir Meynard mill about on the other side of the bridge. They watch the sixth empty barrel fly forcefully out of the Black Knight’s tent and collectively groan a little; Maddy the Falcon Handler shifts from foot to foot a little impatiently at his master’s excess. Suddenly, shortly after the sound of an eighth barrel being opened wafts across the chasm, the victor emerges, triumphant!
 
The Black Knight strolls unsteadily back to his place in front of the bridge; he carries, with, some might say, newly acquired superhuman strength, the defeated Meynard before him. He places the knight carefully upon the ground, and Maddy quickly runs over to check his master [6]. The Black Knight seems once more to ignore the gesticulating and incomprehensible Sir Conchobar: perhaps these are some of the rumoured less traditional knights, questing with a favoured idiot, an intellectually deficient who by the Grace of God is permitted to ramble nonsensically for the good of their souls.
 
State Entered! Incredibly Drunk!
 
Challenge the black knight to his game of choice - swordplay.

[Init vs Sir Meynard=5 vs 6]
 
Enraged but somehow not entirely surprised at his companion’s defeat, Sir Feyman the Judging steps forward towards the questers’ imposing foe, and draws his sword with an audible slicing of the air about him.
 
“En garde! I, Sir Feyman the Judging, challenge you for possession of this bridge!”
 
Sir Keardwall shall stride foward, his craggy features glaring at this miscreant, and support his brave companion Sir Feynard in his challenge.
Possibly giving a few entirely unhelpful tips and tricks regarding swordplay, since well, he knows no-one is as good with a blade as he!


At this Sir Keardwall the Stony strides purposefully forward, glaring at the Black Knight like some form of righteous rock [4]. He leans forwards to speak into Sir Feyman's ear.

"Sir; I have fought in many battles, and defeated many knights of many colours in many duels: heed what I have to say. You would do well to avoid his blade, good knight."

[Init Sir Feyman vs Black Knight = 5 vs 5]
 
Not quite sure what to make of his comrade's intervention, Sir Feyman turns back to the task at hand, and seconds later Sir Feyman and the Black Knight charge towards each other as one. At the last moment the Black Knight looks briefly to his rear, seemingly preoccupied; then he glances to the fore, and see the sternly featured Sir Keardwall: and then his heavy blade sweeps through the air as Sir Feyman leaps unknightly-like above him. Upon landing on the other side behind the Black Knight, Sir Feyman realises his left arm has been sliced clean off! Blood spurts out in a crimson jet! He looks behind him to see where it has fallen; and as he does so the Black Knight’s cleanly sliced body falls in two [6+1 distraction bonus] before the assembled and dumbstruck spectators!
 
Aghast, Maine walks over to where the severed arm lies in a pool of blood and picks it up.
 
Wound Acquired! Left Arm Sliced Off!
Title Gained! Slayer of the Black Knight!
Chivalry Increased! +2
 
As the four members of the Knights’ retinues pick up the incredibly drunk Sir Meynard, the questing Knights quest forth, Sir Keardwall  muttering something to himself about I tried to bloody tell him... idiot.

...   ...   ...   ...   ...   ...

Shortly before dusk, as the shadows lengthen about them on the edge of the great forest of Celidon, they come to a village. They must seek shelter for the night, but they have a little time before the darkness draws in.
 



« Last Edit: October 17, 2011, 07:19:26 am by lawastooshort »
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Sinpwn

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn Two: A Knight Falls.
« Reply #31 on: October 14, 2011, 05:23:50 pm »

Swagger into the nearest inn and just stand there for about a minute, then ask the barkeep if there are any rooms available.
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Yoink

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn Two: A Knight Falls.
« Reply #32 on: October 14, 2011, 05:25:51 pm »

Sir Keardwall shall lead on into the village, accompanied by Gertad, trudging along bearing his master's banner.
The brave, bearded, and still-intact knight shall stride up to the largest, most habitable-looking building (Probably an inn or similiar) and throw open the door. "Hail, villagers! We are the King's knights, sent out to do great and noble deeds in the name of God! Spread straw o'er the muck and we shall bless ye by staying here this knight. Er, night."
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freeformschooler

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn Two: A Knight Falls.
« Reply #33 on: October 14, 2011, 05:28:06 pm »

lawas, your writing is impeccable. I laughed.

Seek shelter and thank Keardwall for his excellent support.
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Yoink

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn Two: A Knight Falls.
« Reply #34 on: October 14, 2011, 05:31:34 pm »

Yes indeed, it goes without saying I cracked up. :D
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Booze is Life for Yoink

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wolfchild

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn Two: A Knight Falls.
« Reply #35 on: October 14, 2011, 07:34:08 pm »

Meynard Gestures and grunts to his retinue, hoping that he will understand that Meynard wants some greasy food, lots of greasy food
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Remalle

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail!
« Reply #36 on: October 15, 2011, 02:23:55 am »

Put me on the waiting list, please.

Name: Sir Robert the Chronically Unprepared
Bio: Robert wasn't fully trained to become a knight.  He didn't wear deodorant the day they knighted him.  And to top it all off, he blinked when they painted his portrait to put on his knighting licence.  Yes, Sir Robert the Chronically Unprepared certainly lives down to his title.  He hopes to earn a new one: Finder of the Spear of Destiny!
...wait, what do you mean we're seeking the Holy Grail?  Why didn't anybody say anything?
Retinue Member: One (1) standard issue priest.  If the brave knight is to fall in battle, he would have someone on hand to quickly deliver his last rites.  Unfortunately Brother Matthew is a monk, not a priest, and is perhaps far too eager to pronounce Sir Robert the Chronically Unprepared dead.
Chivalry: 1
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lawastooshort

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn Three. Gosh.
« Reply #37 on: October 15, 2011, 05:11:07 am »

Third turn!
England; the Dark Ages; a village; shortly before dark.
 
 
Swagger into the nearest inn and just stand there for about a minute, then ask the barkeep if there are any rooms available.

Sir Conchobar tries to swagger into the nearest inn, but instead he stumbles and trips like a clumsy peasant and swaggers into the nearest inn's doorframe! He stubs his toe! He stands about looking miserable for a minute or two, being very obviously ignored by the innkeeper, before deciding that perhaps he should pipe up if he doesn't want to sleep standing up for the third time this week. But the inn has no more room! Conchobar and his trusty man-weapon Fiddles will have to sleep in the barn. At least it's free [1].

State Entered! Not very well rested!

Sir Keardwall shall lead on into the village, accompanied by Gertad, trudging along bearing his master's banner.
The brave, bearded, and still-intact knight shall stride up to the largest, most habitable-looking building (Probably an inn or similiar) and throw open the door.

Meanwhile, across the village, Sir Keardwall, with his trusty retainer, uses his veteran's nose to sniff out the grandest, and other, inn in the area. Like a hero of old he strides up to the doors and throws them open with a single thrust of his mighty arms!

 "Hail, villagers! We are the King's knights, sent out to do great and noble deeds in the name of God! Spread straw o'er the muck and we shall bless ye by staying here this knight. Er, night."

Inside, the main hall of the inn is warm; the fire roars; the tables are filled with villagers feasting upon luxuriously cooked food - and the ale appears to flow in considerable quantity.  A man, clearly the innkeeper, walks up to Sir Keardwall, and bows [6].

"Good Sir knight, we are truly honoured by your honourable presence. I think that it shall not be necessary to spread straw anywhere, for we have rooms in abundance, in which I shall gladly let a quester of God stay for free. I pray thee, take a seat: my maids shall prepare you a room, and my cook shall prepare you a boar..."

State Entered! Particularly well rested!

Seek shelter and thank Keardwall for his excellent support.

As the band of adventuring knights arrives in the village, Sir Feyman the Judging, Slayer of the Black Knight, turns to his noble companion Sir Keardwall, so learned in the ways of war. He thanks him for his excellent support.

"What?!" splutters the stony and bearded warrior, "What!? You didn't listen to a bloody word you fool! I told you to avoid the bloody sword, not swing your bloody arm at it! Bloody kids nowadays eh. Won't bloody listen."

He storms off into the night to find a tavern unburdened by one-armed ingrates, leaving Sir Feyman alone to search for accommodation. He soon finds an inn, and strides in, feeling a little dejected - although his spirits rise when he sees his companion Sir Conchobar. Conchobar turns and Sir Feyman's spirits fall again. He is truly hideous. They fall even further when the ugly wonder speaks [1].

"I say. It appears there are no more rooms to be spared for humble questers such as we: you are welcome to join me and Fiddles in the barn, should you desire to. It's free, at least..."

State Entered! Quite poorly rested!

Meynard Gestures and grunts to his retinue, hoping that he will understand that Meynard wants some greasy food, lots of greasy food

Wondering exactly what it is that his master wants with his unintelligible grunting and wild flailing arms, Maddy the Falcon Handler supports Sir Meynard as far as the nearest barn, wherein he dumps the now unconscious knight before heading to a nearby inn to feast and drink and ogle the serving wenches [1]. He passes a delightful evening!
 
State Maintained! Incredibly Drunk!

...   ...   ...   ...   ...   ...

The next morning, in various states of rest - and, in Maddy's case, undress - the knights assemble in the village square, to decide where to travel next. Onwards, to Castle Lombard? Of course - for that is where your liege King Arthur commanded you to seek the Grail!

The grumpy band of knights go forth from the village, and they have not travelled for very long before suddenly an arrow whistles past Sir Keardwall, narrowly missing his standard bearer Gertad. Out from behind some rocks ahead jump a small group of bandits! Their leader, with the offending bowman beside him, speaks; he has half a dozen further minions behind.

"O Knights! There is a toll to be paid on this path! A toll... of death!"




« Last Edit: October 18, 2011, 03:16:34 pm by lawastooshort »
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Yoink

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn Three: Night Falls.
« Reply #38 on: October 15, 2011, 05:28:20 am »

Sir Keardwall, well rested and with his eyes boggling in pure fury at such events, shall glare these miscreants into silence long enough for him to give a booming speech,
"You miserable lickers of toadspit dare defy not only our great King Arthur, but God himself above?! Such scum as you are not even fit to grace my lance!"
Having said/shouted his piece, he casts aside his lance (in truth because he has no horse...), draws his broadsword and valiantly charges these foolish knaves. He pauses only to blather on some more shout encouragement to his fellows, "Come, brother knights, we shall show these villains the wrath of God this day!"

Gertad will, naturally, hold his Master's standard high and true. Unless of course he seems to be losing...



Ooc: Since I was the only one to not roll a one, guess I should be charging in, eh?  ;D Now, let's just hope he doesn't get shot whilst talking...
« Last Edit: October 15, 2011, 07:23:37 am by Yoink »
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wolfchild

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn Three: Night Falls.
« Reply #39 on: October 15, 2011, 05:49:21 am »

In his drunken state, Meynard slurs a warcry and charges, fortunately the heavy warhammer is not a particularly finessful weapon anyway so drunken flailing should suffice
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micelus

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn Three: Night Falls.
« Reply #40 on: October 15, 2011, 06:39:23 am »

I knew I should've signed up the moment I saw this thread...Ah well you learn.

Name: Sir John the Inconceivably Bad at Direction
Bio: John was an average noble. He grew on the yoke of the dirty peasants and learned off the yoke of the filthy scholars. Not different at all. One day however, he decided to visit his poor sweet grandfather in Cornwall. Well somehow he ended up in Cairo right as the city was being sieged. A traumatic experience enough, he began his trip  home immediately after. Somehow he ended up on a Viking boat to Greenland. After 5 more years of this, he finally got back to good ol England. Shame that he never actually got to Cornwall.
Retinue Member: Bat the Mongol Hippie Doctor. A fellow traveller, Sir John met him on his travels...In Timbuktu of all places. They've been through a lot together, from giant flower trolls to Jewish djinns. But the main reason they stick around is that they're both travelers and that Bat's a good doctor. Shame he's a hippie.
Chivalry: 1.
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freeformschooler

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn Three: Night Falls.
« Reply #41 on: October 15, 2011, 07:16:58 am »

Sir Feyman rolls his eyes around the group of archers and waits for his companions to finish talking.
"And a pox on yer many grandchildren if you don't let us pass! A pox, I say!" Meanwhile, he readies his blade.
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Sinpwn

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn Three: Night Falls.
« Reply #42 on: October 15, 2011, 12:45:45 pm »

Sir Conchobar Screams like a banshee, hoists Fiddles up by his feet and charges as a venerable wall of pure repulsiveness.
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lawastooshort

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn Four: the Bandit Slayer.
« Reply #43 on: October 15, 2011, 03:55:25 pm »

Fourth turn!
England; the Dark Ages; a path with bandits ahead; sometime in the morning.
 
Sir Keardwall, well rested and with his eyes boggling in pure fury at such events, shall glare these miscreants into silence long enough for him to give a booming speech.

Having said/shouted his piece, he casts aside his lance (in truth because he has no horse...), draws his broadsword and valiantly charges these foolish knaves. He pauses only to blather on some more shout encouragement to his fellows, "Come, brother knights, we shall show these villains the wrath of God this day!"

Gertad will, naturally, hold his Master's standard high and true. Unless of course he seems to be losing...


Sir Keardwall the Stony, fearlessly leading the column of questing knights, glares furiously at the miscreants before him [4].

"You miserable lickers of toadspit dare defy not only our great King Arthur, but God himself above?! Such scum as you are not even fit to grace my lance!"

Holding the bandits' attention long enough to vent his stony spleen, he throws down his useless lance and draws his broadsword, charging as valiantly as a Knight of the Round Table might, and continuing to shout encouragement to his fellow questers, which doesn't seem to go down very well with some of them [1]. Sir Keardwall charges directly at the bandit chief, engaging him in noble and solitary combat; but the chief as he charges has time to nock an arrow and shoot it off: but he is so rushed he shoots blindly at his own accursed foot!

He doubles over in pain as Sir Keardwall reaches him, broadsword held high above him in both hands: he smashes it down upon the miserable wretch [6+1 well rested bonus+1 fighting an idiot bonus], cleaving him in twain! There is much blood! The bandit chief is struck down!

Title Acquired! Defeater of Bandits!

Sir Conchobar Screams like a banshee, hoists Fiddles up by his feet and charges as a venerable wall of pure repulsiveness.

Despite the patronising encouragment of Sir Keardwall, Sir Conchobar the Gruesome screams like a godforsaken banshee and lifts his man-weapon Fiddles by the feet and swings him about his head as he charges the petulant deputy bandit before him. His otherworldly scream is so fearsome [5] that the poor deputy bandit dives to the ground, taking cover behind his shiny silver shield; and alas! As Sir Conchobar charges, revelling in his most hideous visage, he catches a glimpse of himself [1] in the mirrored shield! He is repulsed! He is disgusted! He is, above all, distracted, and when he swings the heavily armoured retainer at the grovelling bandit he misses so entirely he swings round full circle and smacks the poor Fiddles' head into an adjacent rock before being carried to the ground by the weighty momentum of his forceful swing [3-1 bad rest penalty-1 distracted penalty].

The astonished minion beside the bandit deputy approaches fast and aims to thrust his sword into the prone knight's face to protect his superior, but as he does he sees the aforementioned face: he is put right off! He commences to be sick!

Sir Feyman rolls his eyes around the group of archers and waits for his companions to finish talking.
"And a pox on yer many grandchildren if you don't let us pass! A pox, I say!" Meanwhile, he readies his blade.


Sir Feyman, judging the situation, believes he has time both to listen to his comrades' interminable speeches and hysterical screaming and also to defeat the foe; chivalrously assuming the bandits may survive to have grandchildren he curses them heartily before one-handedly readying his blade for the fight. As his companions charge about him, he decides to take on the archer who so rudely opened fire on Sir Keardwall's retainer, and joins the charge.

His charge is as furious as one might expect the charge of someone who has so recently lost a limb to be; his opponent is taken entirely off guard. Sir Feyman the Judging strikes the insolent archer about the face with his single-handed swing [5-1 bad rest penalty]: it is sliced off! His face is broken! The archer is struck down!

In his drunken state, Meynard slurs a warcry and charges, fortunately the heavy warhammer is not a particularly finessful weapon anyway so drunken flailing should suffice

Somewhat less together than his comrade knights, Sir Meynard the Sure slurs some vague warcry and rushes towards the handful of bandits milling about behind their leader. He hears Sir Keardwall's ridiculously melodramatic encouragement as he runs; he feels enraged! He closes with the several bandits, flailing his hefty warhammer about his head, pausing only once to vomit ferociously in his path: he crashes into the enemy lines! His hammer connects first with one, and then with another, and then finally with a third cowardly fiend [5+1 enraged bonus+1 drunken strength bonus]. Unfortunately this flashy and possibly unintended act of martial prowess is somewhat undermined by the blows on the first two foes being but glancing; yet this failure is soon forgotten as the head of the third foe is smashed clean off! It flies into the underbrush, where it frightens a waiting squirrel. Before this horrifying scene, the two survivors attempt to fight back, but are clearly mightily disturbed, and miss with disappointing incompetence.

State Maintained! Incredibly Drunk!

There are still five survivors from the bandit posse: the grovelling deputy and his would-be saviour, the ineffectual duo before Sir Meynard, and a fifth bandit, who, seeing his master cut down, charges vengefully at Sir Keardwall, handaxe in hand and violent murder in mind. He strikes! The axe smashes down into Sir Keardwall the Stony's head! But it is but yet another glancing blow, one which the knight avoids by leaping bravely to the side, into a muddy puddle where a fleeing squirrel runs across his bearded face.

Both sides in this fight to the death draw a breath and leap back into the fray!




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Sinpwn

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn Four: the Bandit Slayer.
« Reply #44 on: October 15, 2011, 04:05:17 pm »

Sir Conchobar The Gruesome sweeps the legs of the sickened bandit out from under him and delivers a ferocious upwards strike to him as he falls, being careful not to look at the shield.
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