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Author Topic: Roll to Seek the Grail!  (Read 50817 times)

Yoink

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn Twenty: The Vicious Black Beast Doth Strike!
« Reply #180 on: October 26, 2011, 08:52:54 am »

Sir Keardwall strides forth, frowning more sadly than usual, his bellowing voice sombre and reserved,
"Friend, I am not sure, nor will I ask what you mean by another knight seeking thy counsel this day, and neither shall I yet question you about our quest; Firstly, crack open a keg and pour us six of your stoutest ales! We have lost a noble companion today, and he shall be dearly missed by all!"

He turns to the others, clasping a gauntleted fist to his breast.
"Grieve not, friends, Janet, the brave Sir Meynard the Sure, Hopping Bringer of Gory Death died not in vain! He served our great King to his last breath, and fell whilst dealing a grievious blow to the most foul of enemies! He shall be remembered! You," He claps his hands, looking towards Sir Feyman and his remaining minstrel, "Write us a song of his bravery, and then we shall drink to his memory!"

Sir Keardwall shall barge into the hut and set his jar-o'-spleen in pride of place on a table or such, and impatiently await for the Olde Man to produce some strong alchohol to begin toasting his deceased companion's memory.
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Booze is Life for Yoink

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wolfchild

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn 21: The Murderous Black Beast Striketh Hard!
« Reply #181 on: October 26, 2011, 09:01:04 am »

The spectre of Meynard Rises, and says "Continue on the quest, do not falter or flag, and feynman, I forgive you"

The spectre then opens the door to the waitinmg list, letting the next person through, and disappears
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You really can both sig it.
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freeformschooler

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn 21: The Murderous Black Beast Striketh Hard!
« Reply #182 on: October 26, 2011, 02:19:56 pm »

Feyman felt comforted by some outside force - perhaps a spectre - and Keardwall's well-meaning assurances. He proceeded to write a humble song of Meynard's bravery...

((Song will be posted later. I'm going to draw for someone now. If turn happens to be before I get to my song, make one up for me!))
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Sinpwn

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn 21: The Murderous Black Beast Striketh Hard!
« Reply #183 on: October 26, 2011, 02:47:52 pm »

Sir Conchobar drinks both ale and tea if provided, as a balance between gentlemanliness and normal manliness.
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lawastooshort

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn 22: An Ode to Meynard.
« Reply #184 on: October 27, 2011, 05:21:43 am »

Twenty second turn!
England; the Dark Ages; the bottom of the Valley of the Dead Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh; early evening.

At the house of the Olde Man of Llangwllwd, the three Knights of the Round Table stand together before the Olde Man.

Sir Keardwall the Frowning More Sadly Than Usual speaks first, in his bellowing and sombre voice, and whilst frowning more sadly than usual.

"Friend, I am not sure, nor will I ask what you mean by another knight seeking thy counsel this day, and neither shall I yet question you about our quest; Firstly, crack open a keg and pour us six of your stoutest ales! We have lost a noble companion today, and he shall be dearly missed by all!"

He turns to the others, clasping a gauntleted fist to his breast.

"Grieve not, friends, Janet, the brave Sir Meynard the Sure, Hopping Bringer of Gory Death died not in vain! He served our great King to his last breath, and fell whilst dealing a grievious blow to the most foul of enemies! He shall be remembered! You," He claps his hands, looking towards Sir Feyman and his remaining minstrel, "Write us a song of his bravery, and then we shall drink to his memory!"

Sir Keardwall barges into the hut and sets his jar-o'-spleen in pride of place on a nearby table, waiting impatiently for the Olde Man to produce some strong alchohol to begin toasting his deceased companion's memory.

As they wait for the Olde Man to brew some tea and bring some ale, the group suddenly feels a ghostly presence about them. Feyman doth declare, "I shall compose an ode in honour of our deceased comrade: it is what he would have wanted!"

A falconer dear Sir Meynard lost,
At quite a steep emotional cost,
He was never the same after that day,
Until he bravely gave his life away:
Oh my dear departed Meynard!

When he faced the Black Knight,
He bravely drank;
Slept in his vomit all night,
And then he stank;
Oh my dear departed Meynard!

He smashed many a head off many a foe,
I'm very much sad to see him go,
The Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh dealt him quite a blow,
When he bit off his head in just one go:
Oh my dear departed Meynard!

Now we will find the Grail just for him:
We shan't give up on the slightest whim;
We will all three carry out our duty,
To bring back our God-granted booty;
For our dear departed Meynard!


As the room falls into respectful silence, Sir Feyman feels as if he has been forgiven  in some strange way by some outside force – perhaps a spectre. He sighs to himself.

Title Lost!  Sir Feyman the Judging, Slayer of the Black Knight is no longer known as the Squasher of Maddy!

Just then, the Olde Man of Llangwllwd comes back into the room, carrying a nicely decorated tray with several cups of tea and several pint glasses of masterwork ale upon it. As the thirsty Sir Conchobar rises to eagerly taste of both tea and ale, the Olde Man bids him to wait: he has a guest to introduce, and who now walks into the room.

"Hail! For I am Sir Beadocáf Aethlearne the Rotund and Slightly Awkward to Write Due to the Accent. I have been sent here by King Arthur, Protector of the Britons, to aid you in your God-granted quest for the Holy Grail. God in his infinite wisdom has led you to me just as your dear departed comrade has fallen: I have been speaking to yon Olde Man of Llangwllwd this very morn, and he has described to me the way to the last known record of the location of the Holy Grail. 'Tis written upon the walls of the Cave of Caerbannog, and to reach it one must first traverse the Wood of Doom, pass over the Mountain of Evil, and then travel through the Forest of Hell, if I have translated correctly from the Welsh. 'Tis a difficult language. Come: let us drink our fill and then set forth. Forth to the Wood of Doom!"

...   ...   ...   ...   ...   ...

"Actually let us wait until the morrow. 'Tis quite late in the day and I had an early start this morning."

...   ...   ...   ...   ...   ...

The next day, the now once-again four questing Knights of the Round Table set forth. Forth to the Wood of Doom! But should they travel by the high road which passeth by a mighty Castle? Or the low road which passeth through a filthy village?


edit: noticed a missing d. Didn't find the name I was after though.
« Last Edit: November 11, 2011, 10:05:50 am by lawastooshort »
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freeformschooler

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn 22: An Ode to Meynard.
« Reply #185 on: October 27, 2011, 07:36:18 am »

Sir Feyman introduces himself to Sir Beatacalf Atelearn: "Greetings, calf-beater! We hope you will provide us with the necessary amount of strength to fetch this God-given artefact,"

With that, he heads to bed. In the morning, he votes they pass through a village. Castles are dangerous!
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scriver

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn 22: An Ode to Meynard.
« Reply #186 on: October 27, 2011, 09:24:45 am »

"Ah, aye, with God on our side, we shall find the Grail! And it will be a true Honour to do God's Work next to a knight like you, Sire Fairyman!"

Beadocáf agrees enthusiasticly about the village. "DEUS VULT!"
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Yoink

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn 22: An Ode to Meynard.
« Reply #187 on: October 27, 2011, 09:33:54 am »

Sir Keardwall shall simply set to work on pickling his still-attached organs, downing mug after mug of ale in Sir Meynard's memory. He slurs drunkenly towards Beadocaf, nodding,
"Yesh yesh, of courshe, ye art welcome on our ke-que-queshh, Sir Beadocaff. In th' name of God and King Arthur we ishh... Uhh... Go to some filthy village or somethi'gh. I suppose the peashants need putting in their placesh. Deushh Vult!"
With that said, he raises his tankard/mug/goblet high, looking blearily about,
"In th' name of Sir Meynahd th'Shhhre, Hoppi'gh Bringer of Gory Death, th'mosht talented pashifier of peasants I'sh ever met! ..'Shept myself of course."
He'll down another drink.


(Sorry for crapness, not really feeling inspired IRL at the moment. :-\ Don't want to hold the game up though!)
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

Sinpwn

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn 22: An Ode to Meynard.
« Reply #188 on: October 27, 2011, 10:58:17 am »

Sir Conchobar greets  Sir Beadocáf Aethlearne and agrees with the village idea.
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lawastooshort

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn 23: The Village of Stafford.
« Reply #189 on: October 27, 2011, 04:45:59 pm »

Twenty third turn!
England; the Dark Ages; the bottom of the Valley of the Dead Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh; morning.

As Sir Beadocáf Aethlearne the Rotund stands before them, the three knights rise to meet the new-come quester.

"Sir Beatacalf Atelearn!" begins Feyman, "Greetings, calf-beater! I am Sir Feyman the Judging, Slayer of the Black Knight! We hope you will provide us with the necessary amount of strength to fetch this God-given artefact! Let us not venture near another castle for at least several days, for I fear for our retainers... Tomorrow we should make our way to the village of Stafford of which you speak; tonight I shall make my way to bed, for I require rest."

"Ah, aye, with God on our side, we shall find the Grail! And it will be a true Honour to do God's Work next to a knight like you, Sire Fairyman! I agree that we should search for this village of Stafford, I have had my fill of castles these last weeks. DEUS VULT!"

"And I, I am Sir Conchobar the Gruesome, Potless Insulter of Mothers and Piercer of the Black Beast of  Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh! Hail, Sir Beadocáf Aethlearne! Let us travel to the distant village of Stafford in the morn. For now, let us toast our lost knight, for he was a valiant man. To Sir Meynard!"

"Yesh," adds Sir Keardwall, "Yesh yesh, of courshe, ye art welcome on our ke-que-queshh, Sir Beadocaff. In th' name of God and King Arthur we ishh... Uhh... Go to some filthy village or somethi'gh. I suppose the peashants need putting in their placesh. Deushh Vult!"

He raises his pint glass.

"In th' name of Sir Meynahd th'Shhhre, Hoppi'gh Bringer of Gory Death, th'mosht talented pashifier of peasants I'sh ever met! ..'Shept myse-."

Keardwall, who has been drinking heavily for over fifteen minutes, keeleth over, and doth fall asleep.

...   ...   ...   ...   ...   ...


The next day the four knights set out.


England; a few days later in the Dark Ages; the village of Stafford; the hour of the wasp.

After several days of long and hard travel along dusty and ancient trails, amongst dark and sinister forests, and across cold and misty heathlands, the Knights of the Round Table approach the village of Stafford in the middle of the morning. It rises from the drifting morning fog like a ghost village; a small river runs through it. Mud is everywhere: mud, and dirt. A mud farmer passes, pushing mud before him. An dirt harvester grovels about in a bush for some dirt. The distant bell of a body collector on his rounds echoes through the morning silence, which is suddenly broken by a furious cry.

"A witch! A witch!!"

As the band of knights enter the middle of the village of Stafford, they spot a mob of filthy peasants rush towards them, carrying a woman aloft and screaming.

"A witch!! A witch!!!"

The dirty commoners stop before the hygienic knights, recognising their social superiors; recognising the physical form of the natural judge. One, clearly their leader, steps forward.

"Oh knights! We have no knight in our sorry village, for he did try to free us from the terrible tyranny of the Son of the Eel of Stafford and was thusly mauled to shreds. But that is neither here nor there. We have a witch; we desire to burn her! Please, cast for us your wise and knightly judgement, that we may rid ourselves of this foul and deadly burden! Let us knowe what is righte!"


Edit: deleted extra space in a name. Also, away so no updates for around 3 days, sorry.
« Last Edit: October 27, 2011, 04:48:43 pm by lawastooshort »
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freeformschooler

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn 23: The Village of Stafford.
« Reply #190 on: October 27, 2011, 05:35:38 pm »

Sir Feyman raises his single arm, and with it, his single sword. He steps up to the front of the group. He cannot take any chances with Keardwall's judgement.

"Stop what ye're doing, villagers! Consider for yourselves a moment the right path: not guilty until proven innocent, but innocent until proven guilty. What foul thing has this woman done?"

He stops and reconsiders a moment.

"And... if she IS proven a witch... would it not be better for us holy knights of God to see to her death, rather than you humble mud farmers? After all, she may cast a trick, and turn your own fire against you! Beware!"

Of course, Sir Feyman was merely trying to avoid needless slaughter. That is what he was good at, after all. He could care less whether or not this woman cast some dastardly cantrip or mystical incantation. He could probably talk her out of her witchery if it was true, but he didn't believe in witches or magic, other than the holy magic present in God's artifacts here on Earth (such as the grail).
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Sinpwn

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn 23: The Village of Stafford.
« Reply #191 on: October 27, 2011, 06:28:54 pm »

"Aye, and let ye not decide on a test that could kill her, be she innocent, or the wrath of the just shall rain down upon ye."

Sir Conchobar approaches the maiden and speaks.

"What have ye done to provoke these townsfolk?"
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scriver

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn 23: The Village of Stafford.
« Reply #192 on: October 27, 2011, 07:08:08 pm »

"Indeed, the least we can do is hear the words of both witch and rabble. But, we should beware her words, for the words witches are like worms in your boots - you think you can trust that they are not there, but then suddenly you find your feet all sticky and with worm-squish all over them! Do not put on your allegorical boots that her words is, until we are certain they are not filled with squishy worms! I propose we let my good friend Godewine read a blessing over us before she speaks, so we are protected from the Lureish Words of the Devil's Mouthpiece."

Beadocáf orders a peasant to put his shirt on the ground before him so he does not get mud on his armour, and kneels down in silent prayer to the Lord as Godewine reads the blessing.


You are all to valiant! That is not the way of a true Knight of Christ :P
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Yoink

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn 23: The Village of Stafford.
« Reply #193 on: October 28, 2011, 12:03:39 am »

Setting aside his jar, Sir Keardwall shall also kneel respectfully in prayer alongside the Beater of Calves, unworried by mud and with his face set in a thoughtful mask, but once the blessing is finished he shall stand, face the crowd and raise the jarred spleen.
"Nay, my friends, we must consult the spleen! Truly blessed by the Lord himself, this revered organ has ne'er lead me afoul in all the many leagues we have traveled alongside one another! Its judgement is without fault! Truly it carries the word of God!"

With one booted foot he shall scrape a line in the dirt, then direct his imposing gaze across towards the suppose 'witch', giving a slight nod towards her. "You, the accused! Choose one side of yon line, and if the judging spleen shall land on the chosen side, ye shall be pronounced innocent! If it should land on the other, thus speaking against you, then plainly the villagers' verdict is correct, and you are indeed a witch!"

Glaring menacingly at anyone who would dare think to question him, Keardwall shall wait til the 'witch' selects a side, then say a quick prayer- "O Mighty Lord, please speak thy Truth though this spleen on this day, and grant us a fraction of thy Wisdom,"- and cast the jar-o'-spleen (Hopefully made of strong glass!) into the air above the line scraped in the dirt. Whichever side it lands on, the innocent or guilty side, is plainly the truth, by word of God.


(...Hopefully this is a good, well-made jar! If it breaks there's gonna be Hell to pay! :P)
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

lawastooshort

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn 24: The Judgement.
« Reply #194 on: October 28, 2011, 04:50:43 am »

Twenty fourth turn!
England; the Dark Ages; the village of Stafford; five past the hour of the wasp.

Before the cowed and assembled peasantry, Sir Feyman raises his single sword in his single arm, taking position at the front of the group of knights. He doth doubt the wisdom of the eager Sir Keardall.

"Stop what ye're doing, villagers! Consider for yourselves a moment the right path: not guilty until proven innocent, but innocent until proven guilty. What foul thing has this woman done?"

"She hath summoned the Son of the Eel of Stafford, against Saint Gibsbury's sacred will!"

Feyman stops and reconsiders a moment.

"How do you knowe it was she? And... if she IS proven a witch... would it not be better for us holy knights of God to see to her death, rather than you humble mud farmers? After all, she may cast a trick, and turn your own fire against you! Beware!"

Of course, Sir Feyman was merely trying to avoid needless slaughter. That is what he was good at, after all. He couldn't care less whether or not this woman cast some dastardly cantrip or mystical incantation. He could probably talk her out of her witchery if it was true, but he didn't believe in witches or magic, other than the holy magic present in God's artifacts here on Earth such as that for which he quested.

"Beware! She may summon the fire of the Son of the Eel of Stafford!"

Sir Conchobar gruesomely steps forth to support his brother in arms.

"Aye, and let ye not decide on a test that could kill her, be she innocent, or the wrath of the just shall rain down upon ye."

Sir Conchobar approaches the maiden and speaks.

"What have ye done to provoke these townsfolk?"

"She hath summoned the Son of the Eel of Stafford! She doth threaten to summon the fire of the Son of the Eel of Stafford!"

"No! Let her speak for herself!" bellows Conchobar, in increasing irritation.

"Indeed, the least we can do is hear the words of both witch and rabble," begins Sir Beadocáf. "But, we should beware her words, for the words of witches are like worms in your boots - you think you can trust that they are not there, but then suddenly you find your feet all sticky and with worm-squish all over them! Do not put on your allegorical boots that her words are, until we are certain they are not filled with squishy worms! I propose we let my good friend Godewine read a blessing over us before she speaks, so we are protected from the Lureish Words of the Devil's Mouthpiece."

Beadocáf orders one of the peasants to put his shirt on the ground before him so he does not get mud on his armour, and kneels down in silent prayer to the Lord as Godewine reads the blessing.

Next to the reading Godewine, Sir Keardwall sets his jarred spleen upon the muddy ground and kneels beside Sir Beadocáf. His face is thoughtful; his thoughts are on the sanctified holiness of his spleen. As Godewine finishes mumbling his incomprehensible yet holy latin words, Keardwall rises to his feet, and holds the jarred spleen aloft.

"Nay, my friends, we must consult the spleen!", Keardwall proclaims. "Truly blessed by the Lord himself, this revered organ has ne'er lead me afoul in all the many leagues we have traveled alongside one another! Its judgement is without fault! Truly it carries the word of God!" Before the astonished gaze of the knights, and the rapt onlooking peasantry, who love this kind of thing, Keardwall scrapes a line in the filth with his booted foot, and stares imposingly at the accused.

"You, the accused! Choose one side of yon line, and if the judging spleen shall land on the chosen side, ye shall be pronounced innocent! If it should land on the other, thus speaking against you, then plainly the villagers' verdict is correct, and you are indeed a witch!"

As the witch, puzzled but unquestioning, chooses a side, Keardwall utters a quick prayer for the guidance of God.

"O Mighty Lord, please speak thy Truth though this spleen on this day, and grant us a fraction of thy Wisdom."

The witch chooses the left. Keardwall casts the jar into the air and awaits God's judgement.

...   ...   ...   ...   ...   ...


The jar doth smash apart [1] upon the centre [4] of the line!

« Last Edit: November 11, 2011, 10:08:53 am by lawastooshort »
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