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Author Topic: Roll to Seek the Grail!  (Read 51067 times)

Yoink

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The damned thing is so tall as to make its head and throat a difficult target! Sir Keardwall shall remedy this with a quick sweep of his sword to remove its legs, leaving it helpless for a mighty thrust through the chest! As he does so, he shall shout bravely at the creature,
"Hark, foul-smelling fiend! We shall see how tall ye are without legs! Prepare to meet whatever vile demon spawned you!"
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

wolfchild

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Maynard swings his hammer tirelessly creating a wall of certain-pulping-of-whatever-limp-passes
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You really can both sig it.
But... That would break the laws of sigging! We can't have everyone running around with the same quotes. IT MAKES THEM UNFUNNY FASTER!

lawastooshort

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Incidentally, do you mind me not quoting your actions in the post and not showing the dice rolls? It wasn't an especially conscious decision to remove them entirely, but it kind of happened anyway.

I wouldn't be able to leave out any [1]s or [6]s though.
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wolfchild

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I an fine with that
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You really can both sig it.
But... That would break the laws of sigging! We can't have everyone running around with the same quotes. IT MAKES THEM UNFUNNY FASTER!

freeformschooler

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Sir Feyman renews his grip on the Black Beast! With one mighty swoop, he attempts to slice its head clean off!

"I will be the slayer of both Black Beast and Black Knight!"
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Sinpwn

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Shoot for the head.
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Yoink

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Incidentally, do you mind me not quoting your actions in the post and not showing the dice rolls? It wasn't an especially conscious decision to remove them entirely, but it kind of happened anyway.

I wouldn't be able to leave out any [1]s or [6]s though.

I don't mind either way, personally! Sometimes seeing the roll adds to the comedic effect, but sometimes it just gives away the result before you read the action.
RtD's great either way! :D
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

lawastooshort

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn Twenty: The Vicious Black Beast!
« Reply #172 on: October 26, 2011, 03:26:22 am »


Twentieth turn! Gosh!
England; the Dark Ages; the Terrible Valley of the Terrifyingly Hideous and Vile Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh; very close to the hour of the goat.
 
The Giant Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh, the size of several horses three coconut trees stacked end on end, the colour of an autumn slug, with horns the size of a bundle of cats and nigh on six score eyes lumbers onwards up the valley path, fearsome and roaring, with three knights before it and one upon its back, bleeding heavily, though it seems but little weakened thus far.
 
Alas! Its raging anger seems to have quickened the Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh’s blood: it strikes with renewed ferocity and speed!
 
Sir Conchobar once again raises his unwieldy Holy Crossbow of Beersheba, Renowned Slayer of the Green Dragon, and fires at the Black Beast's head as it hurtles lengthily up the valley path. The unwieldy weight sends him off balance: he tumbles backwards! He shoots into the air! The Holy Bolt doth proceed to fall back to the earth, striking through Sir Conchobar's foot, and thusly pinning him to the ground in slight pain [1-1 horrible misfire bonus].

State Entered: Pinnede to the Grounde!

Sir Keardwall is next to assault the foul beast: he attempts to remove its stumpy legs!
 
“Hark, foul-smelling fiend! We shall see how tall ye are without legs! Prepare to meeeeee-!”
 
He is rudely interrupted as he moves to swing his sword, for the Fell Black Beast extends his horrid claws and smacks Sir Keardwall viciously about the head! He is flung unconscious against the rocky valley wall!
 
Item Lost: Consciousness
 
As Keardwall flies away, Sir Meynard steps into the breach once more! He swings Drakhen tirelessly before him, keeping the Black Beast’s clawed feet at bay: but he counts not upon the Dire Black Beast’s pointy teeth! The Beast bends its fearsome neck over the whirling hammer of death and takes a bite. He manages but to chip a tooth on Meynard’s horned helmet! Blessed be the Lord! Or Meynard!
 
Whilst the Vicious Black Beast swoops down to bite Sir Meynard, Sir Feyman is still clinging desperately to his bleeding and sodden neck! One-armed he cries, I will be the slayer of both Black Beast and Black Knight!, and he thus releases his grip to slice through the Beast’s neck with the aid of his sword. He slips off! He is cast upon the floor, where he lands in a state of unconsciousness! His face is bleeding! As Eric the Lutist runs up to his new-found master’s body to check for signs of life, the Beast’s tail doth whip around from behind it. Eric is sliced in two!
 
State of Consciousness: Unconscious
Retainer Lost: Eric hath been sliced in twain by the Blacke Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh!
 
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wolfchild

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn Twenty: The Vicious Black Beast Doth Strike!
« Reply #173 on: October 26, 2011, 03:43:40 am »

Meynard Doth Keep swinging, however if the beast tries that again he shall have drakhen pulverise it's chin
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You really can both sig it.
But... That would break the laws of sigging! We can't have everyone running around with the same quotes. IT MAKES THEM UNFUNNY FASTER!

Sinpwn

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn Twenty: The Vicious Black Beast Doth Strike!
« Reply #174 on: October 26, 2011, 05:35:26 am »

Sir Conchobar removes his foot from the ground, then proceeds to mercilessly kick the black heady with his bolt foot.
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Yoink

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn Twenty: The Vicious Black Beast Doth Strike!
« Reply #175 on: October 26, 2011, 07:12:36 am »

Sir Keardwall, for all his combat skill and expertise, is sadly not trained in the art of fighting whilst unconscious!
Doubtless he is receiving inspiring visions from both the Lord God and the Great King Arthur, but in his current state he is quite unable to contribute!
If he doth happen to awaken, however, he shall channel his Holy Righteous Anger into a mighty swing, cleaving the foul beast in twain with a manly shout of exertion,
"Fooor the Kiiiiing!"

He shall, obviously, forgoe his usual verbosity, instead focusing all the power in his throbbing, bruised head into the attack.
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

freeformschooler

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn Twenty: The Vicious Black Beast Doth Strike!
« Reply #176 on: October 26, 2011, 07:41:38 am »

Sir Feyman struggles to be yet again conscious. Oh, blast this unconsciousness! He reaches for the "Consciousness" item in his sleep, that he may have it once more. If he wakes up, he tries to slice to beast at its tail!
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Yoink

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn Twenty: The Vicious Black Beast Doth Strike!
« Reply #177 on: October 26, 2011, 07:53:59 am »

Good Lord, Gertad was lucky he was sent away... Our retainers certainly have a high mortality rate!
Sort of amusing that Fiddles is the only one still around since the beginning, and he's the one used as a weapon. :P
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

freeformschooler

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn Twenty: The Vicious Black Beast Doth Strike!
« Reply #178 on: October 26, 2011, 08:07:32 am »

Alas, poor Eric! I shall miss him for an entire post. Then I will get over it.
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lawastooshort

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Re: Roll to Seek the Grail! Turn 21: The Vicious Black Beast Striketh Again!
« Reply #179 on: October 26, 2011, 08:43:31 am »

Twenty first turn!
England; the Dark Ages; the Terrible Valley of the Terrifyingly Hideous and Vile Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh; the hour of the goat.
 
The Foul Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh, the size of a large mammoth, the colour of rotting cabbage, with horns the size of large pillow and nigh on three hundred eyes adorning its head, proceeds forth up the valley path, roaring, fearsome, with two knights struck down before it and two more yet persisting. It bleeds heavily, though it is hard to tell if this has weakened it thus far.

As Meynard stands before the struck down pair of knights and the stuck down Sir Conchobar, he knows that he holds their very lives bravely in his mighty armoured hands; thusly does he ferociously wield his mighty Drakhen! He doth keep swinging, with all his force, and he barely has time to notice as the Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh swoops again to take a bite of the tasty morsel upon his neck.

There is a flash of teeth! There is a glint of tongue! There is, alas, a mighty spume of blood as the  Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh moves quicker than the brave knight, and doth bite Sir Meynard's head off!

The orphaned Drakhen swings one last time as Sir Meynard's tireless arms wield it even as his body tumbles. As his deceasd grip yields, the great warhammer flies in a forlorn arc unto the air, striking the Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh in the neck. It is pulverised!

Title Acquired! Deceased.

The awful torrent of blood splatters upon Sir Feyman in great welts of liquid and deceased comrade, stirring him from his gentle sleep beside the murderous Black Beast. He groans a little as he rises to his feet; he struggles not to fall to his knees once again as he sees the awful sight of his former companion. The Beast pays him little heed; Feyman wipes some of Sir Meynard off his face and  strikes with righteous anger at its tail! He slices clean through! The lutist-slaying tail is removed! The blood flows in hideous quantities [6]!

Item Acquired! Consciousness!
Item Acquired! Multiple Blood Stains!

The Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh roars in pain and rage and turns to meet Sir Feyman, raising his mighty pillow sized claws to strike. But alas! (for the Black Beast, at least) For the loss of his tail has clearly deprived him of his balance [1], and he falls to the ground! The tremendous impact, akin to a very minor earthquake, awakes the unconscious Keardwall, who was until very recently receiving an inspiring vision from the Great King Arthur!

He sees the horrifying scene before him and staggers to his feet. Sir Keardwall raises his sword and channeleth his Holy Righteous Anger into a single mighty swoop.

"Fooor the Kiiiiing!"

He doth slice off the Black Beast's finger!

As the finger falls to the ground, Sir Conchobar the Gruesome takes advantage of the Black Beast's weakness, and soundlessly removes his foot from the ground wherein it is pinned, and aims a series of merciless kicks at the Beast's heade!

"Have at you, you bastard!" he cries, as he kicks his bolted foot again and again into the evil Beast's eyes. He pokes them out! The Beast is blinded! He mercilessly continues to kick. His foot doth penetrate unto the Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh's tiny brain! It is pierced! It is bruised! The Black Beast is slain!

Item Acquired! Bolt Foot!
Title Acquired! Piercer of the Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh!

The remaining three knights bend their knees in prayer.

Group Chivalry Increased! Valiant victory!

...   ...   ...   ...   ...   ...

As the day reaches its end, the three Knights of the Round Table and their retainers reach the bottom of the Valley Once of the Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh, and come to a small hut, surrounded by planted crops of mud; as they approach the hut, the Olde Man of Llangwllwd comes out to meet them.

"Hello! I say! Lovely day what? Have ye come to seek counsel? You would not be the first knight to come my way today! Come in, and have some tea!"
 
« Last Edit: October 26, 2011, 09:01:27 am by lawastooshort »
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