Character ListName: Sir Feyman the Judging
Bio: Sir Feyman gladly accepts his role in any quests, but is always suspicious of the motives of his fellow questers. He likes to play music, but doesn't have the opportunity very often. He fights with swords, but doesn't get too attached to his equipment.
Retinue Member: Maine the shy Minstrel. He usually follows Feyman around, blindly agreeing with him, even though he taught Feyman many things, including how to play music.
Chivalry: 1
Waitlist (many apologies)Name: Sir Theodore Hughes the Vigilant
Bio: When Sir Theodore was still but a young boy he was constantly tripping over things, finding new ways to blunder in to inanimate objects and generally being a nuisance to those around him. For this he was given the sarcastic nickname 'Vigilant', which unfortunately stuck after achieving knighthood. Despite his inability to walk a straight line while stone cold sober he is loyal and always willing to head in to danger in order to help his friends. He is proficient with the morning star and shield, and has a very large streak of romanticism in his blood. His colors are green and gold and his crest is a green stag in front of a golden tree on a black background.
Retinue Member: Fauntleroy the Squire. For some unknown reason this young boy was entrusted into Sir Theodore's care for training in the knightly way of chivalry. A young chap of approximately 14 years, he's a bit scrawny to be wielding that dagger, isn't he?
Chivalry: 1
Name: Sir Robert the Chronically Unprepared
Bio: Robert wasn't fully trained to become a knight. He didn't wear deodorant the day they knighted him. And to top it all off, he blinked when they painted his portrait to put on his knighting licence. Yes, Sir Robert the Chronically Unprepared certainly lives down to his title. He hopes to earn a new one: Finder of the Spear of Destiny!
...wait, what do you mean we're seeking the Holy Grail? Why didn't anybody say anything?
Retinue Member: One (1) standard issue priest. If the brave knight is to fall in battle, he would have someone on hand to quickly deliver his last rites. Unfortunately Brother Matthew is a monk, not a priest, and is perhaps far too eager to pronounce Sir Robert the Chronically Unprepared dead.
Chivalry: 1.
Name: Sir John the Inconceivably Bad at Direction
Bio: John was an average noble. He grew on the yoke of the dirty peasants and learned off the yoke of the filthy scholars. Not different at all. One day however, he decided to visit his poor sweet grandfather in Cornwall. Well somehow he ended up in Cairo right as the city was being sieged. A traumatic experience enough, he began his trip home immediately after. Somehow he ended up on a Viking boat to Greenland. After 5 more years of this, he finally got back to good ol England. Shame that he never actually got to Cornwall.
Retinue Member: Bat the Mongol Hippie Doctor. A fellow traveller, Sir John met him on his travels...In Timbuktu of all places. They've been through a lot together, from giant flower trolls to Jewish djinns. But the main reason they stick around is that they're both travelers and that Bat's a good doctor. Shame he's a hippie.
Chivalry: 1.
Dead ListName: Sir Meynard the Sure, Hopping Bringer of Gory Death.
Bio: Meynard is not sure because he always knows, He is the other kind of sure. If he decides on a task, he will keep on trying until he succeeds, or there is incontrovertible proof that it is no longer possible. He Wields his great Warhammer "Drakhen" in the crucible of battle.
Retinue Member: Janet, the Falcon Handler.
Deceased Retinue Member: Maddy, the Falcon Handler; Long time companion of Meynard, Maddy was entrusted with the knights Falcon, who he took everywhere.
Chivalry: 3.
Drinking Challenges Won: 0/1.
Wound Acquired: Broken leg.
Falcon Handlers: 1/2.
Death: Died in glorious single combat with the Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh, wherein his head was bitten off.
Name: Sir Conchobar the Deceased Yet Miraculously Gruesome, Potless Insulter of Mothers and Piercer of the Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh, Splitter of the Left Head of the Dreaded Three-Headed Knight of the Wood of Doom, Wetter of PantsBio: The stuff of legends, Conchobar is feared throughout the world. Not because of his deeds mind you, but because of his legendary ugliness. He is said to be so ugly that the heads of lesser men have shattered in his presence. It is also notable that his favored weapon is a man wearing spiked armor named Fiddles.
Traits: Unimaginably intimidating. Rediculously ugly.
Retinue member: Fiddles the man club.
Chivalry: 2.
Death: Died in glorious single combat with the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog, wherein his throat was bitten out.
Name: Sir Keardwall the Deceased, Creator of the Holy Exterior Spleen of Keardwall, Stony Defeater of Bandits, Destroyer of the Son of the Eel of Stafford, (the Terror of the West), Slayer of the Two-Headed Knight of the Wood of Doom, Soiler of Armour, Destroyer of the Bridge of Death and Saviour of Sir Feyman the Judging, Slayer of the Black Knight, Soiler of Underwear and Fiendish Smasher of the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog.
Bio: So named for his rather unyielding demeanour towards his foes, and those of God and the King, Sir Keardwall the Stony was a natural choice for such a quest as this. Bearing a near-permanent frown, stout forehead and a square, manly beard, not to mention his well-kept armour, Sir Keardwell is the very picture of courage and skill-at-arms.
Enjoys fighting for King and Country, feasting heartily, and glaring stonily at those who cross him. Apart from his lance he wields a broadsword and a shield, upon which is displayed his family's crest, which involves a castle on a mountain guarded by a red dragon. He would never dream of refusing such a mission from his Lord, but of course the sorry state of his financial affairs offered an extra incentive to set out on this grand journey. After all, what born warrior would wish to be cooped up in a castle all day, counting tithes and taxes when he could be out doing great deeds?!
Traits Fearsome frown of fierceness, loud voice.
Retinue Member: Standard Bearer, Gertad Brownfoot. Old fellow who faithfully follows Sir Keardwall on his travels on a small pony, bearing the noble Knight's coat-of-arms for all to see. Always glad to recite a few of his Lord's deeds for any audience, he speaks sweeter still when his tongue is greased with alcohol.
Chivalry: 1.
Death: Died saving Sir Feyman the Judging from a hideous fate at the hands of the Blind Soothsayer, whereupon he fell to his death.
Name: Ultimately Noble Sir Ethlehed the Deceased Yet Curious Flower Troll Slayer, Knower of Names, Taker of the Bridge of Doom, and Rescuer of Sir Feyman.
Bio: It is said that curiosity killed the cat. Sir Ethlehed would remark that he is no cat and therefore perfectly safe. In fact, through absolutely dumb luck he has managed to survive everything his insatiable curiosity has brought him into, often at the cost of comically maimed retinue members. He is interested in absolutely everything and will frequently conduct experiments to satiate his curiosity. Again often at the expense of retinue. He wielded a vaguely weapon-like contraption that has so far managed to elude a good description and could go horribly wrong at any moment. He also wields a sword, but it is rusty and blunt from years of neglect.
He is the kind of guy who compulsively pulls a lever to see what happens. He is also inexplicably lucky.
Lost Retinue Member: John the Snarker. A former fool who lost all of his humour while in Ethlehed's service. Crushed to death during Sir Ethlehed’s rescue from the Beast of Caerbannog.
Chivalry: 5.
Wounds Acquired: Re-re-smashed nose; Left leg pulled off; Pierced (left) thigh; Re-smashed face!; Injured hand; No liver; Right leg snapped right off; Left arm ripped clean off; Crushed to smithereens by a giant lobster corpse.
Inventory: Left leg.
Death: Died in glorious single combat with the Vicious Lobster of the Grail, wherein his leg was snapped off, his arm ripped out, and his body crushed to smithereens.
Name:
Fell Sir Uriel the Deceased Mad Rope-Tosser Ultim, The Entirely Lacking in Depth Perception and Sanity, Wielder of the Menacing Backpack and Looser of the Punultimate Weapon.
Bio:
A knight to be reckoned with. He has an imaginary trusty steed which isn't as trusted as it should be,
a shiny armor which often gets soiled in combat,
a great shield wich is dent bent and sligtly curled,
a sparkling blade which is often ridiculed for its sparkles.
Oh Did I mention Sir Uriel Was entirely lacking in depth perception?
Retinue Member:
Goofus Ridiculus, a Jester whom was originally hired to keep Uriel The Entirely Lacking in Depth Perception in good mood with witty jokes and humor.
Too bad he only know horribly bad puns, and he just can't get rid of this guy no matter what he have tried.
Wound Acquired: Smashed kidney; Smashed face; Badly bruised body.
State Acquired: Gone mad.
Inventory: Empty!
Chivalry: 1.
Death: Possessed by madness, he reached out for the Grail with an unholy mind, whereupon he fell to his death.
Name: Sir Beadocáf Aethlearne of the Order of the Latinate Sandy Crotch, Deceased Sneaky and Merciless Drowner of Old Men and Notoriously Rotund Feller of the Tallest Tree on the Holy Hillock of Fate.
Bio: A large man, both tall and wide, with long reddish hair and beard. As the shape of his body might give away, Beadocáf enjoys a good meal. And a good drink. And anything feast-related, really. Despite this affection, Beadocáf is also a rather pious man, spending a lot of his money on building churches on his land, and prefers to spare his fighting skills for when God calls upon them. His colours are red and gold, and his crest is an eagle carrying a cross. His weapon of choice is a long-shafted, knobbed mace, inscribed with the words Nutu Dei. Sometimes also called the Boar, or possible the Bore, Beadocáf is never quite sure which one people mean by it.
Lost Retinue Members: Godewine of Norwhyiche, an old friend and monk scholar who was witnessing his quest for chronicling purposes but fell to the temptations of spanking. Hagley the Squire, who joined Beadocáf to learn how to become a knight, but was instead flattened by the very man he sought to emulate.
Wounds Right hand bitten off by a rabbit; Ordure in the eyes (-1 to seeing until it is cleaned!); Disgusting odour (-1 to enemy to hit rolls until cleaned!); Smashed face (Blood in the eyes: further -1 penalty to rolls involving seeing) Smashed Legs (-2 penalty to rolls involving legs); Legs flailed off (further -5 penalty to rolls involving legs).
Retinue Members: None.
Chivalry: 2.
Inventory: Smashed chair.
Death: Heavily wounded, he attempted to seize the Holy Grail, whereupon he was swatted mightily unto the heavens.