((Jeez, things are getting crazy around here. Also, how does a pony use a sword anyway? Swing it around in their mouth? Why would there even be a hand grip? We may never know.
))
Flashbang's Non-Existent Diary, Chapter 42: That Doesn't Seem Physically PossibleNever mind. Definitely not worried anymore. Apparently the sword weighed more than the pony carrying it, and it was very amusing to watch him fall right onto his face. What kind of idiot carries around a giant sword in their mouth anyway? Definitely some issues with that concept, not to mention what it would do to your teeth. Speaking of teeth, I was very surprised to find that this new pony apparently has sharpened teeth as well. As he lay dazed on the ground I tried to see if I could recognize him, but no names came to mind. Perhaps he was some sort of former prisoner or bandit, they tend to go for that sort of thing. Anyway, I could tell he had never been a darkbolt, since no self-respecting darkbolt would ever try and wield such a ridiculous thing. Not a smart one anyway.
Smart or not, he definitely seemed to have some battle experience. It didn't take long for him to recover from his fall and rise shakily to his hooves. Once again he raised his sword, this time propping it up between his front hooves. By this point the crowd had given us some distance, forming a rough circle around us. I could see Solstice among them, his medical bag floating next to him and a worried look on his face. So much for a quiet greeting.
The swordpony charged, flapping his wings to keep himself balanced and trying to yell some garbled war cry through his sword. I dodged him easily enough, circling around with my teeth bared in a vicious grin. I grabbed one of his flailing wings with my jaws, shaking and twisting until I heard something snap. He wasn't flying anywhere now. Before I could cause any more permanent damage I found myself knocked to the ground, his red eyes boring into my yellow ones with unrestrained rage. I was trapped, pinned under his heavier frame, and now the giant sword in his mouth didn't look quite as funny. Nothing does when it's aimed at your head. Still, I wasn't about to go down without a fight. As his head rose to strike mine did as well. I grabbed his throat with my teeth, clenching just tight enough to draw blood. One twitch would be all it would take, but unfortunately for me that was all he would need as well. The sword was still aimed at my head, and even if I struck first he would still have time to use it. Idiot was smarter than I thought.
Fortunately for the both of us, the standoff didn't last long. Apparently someone in the crowd had been bright enough to go get help, and so it wasn't long before someone arrived. I couldn't see this of course, as my head wasn't exactly mobile at this point, but I could definitely hear the shout that echoed through the dining room.
"WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE PRINCESS IS GOING ON HERE!?!?" it demanded. As my ears began to ring I identified the voice as Loudwhisper's. She was definitely not happy. "FLASHBANG, LET GO OF HIM RIGHT NOW! YOU TOO JAXLER, PUT THE SWORD DOWN THIS INSTANT!" I slowly released my grip on his throat, pushing my way out from under him once the sword was away from my face. I could now see Strongbeard was there as well, ready to jump into the fray if either of us tried anything. The swordpony, who was apparently named Jaxler, turned to Loudwhisper and began to make his excuses.
"You saw what happened, she attacked me out of nowhere! Look at this wing, I won't be able to fly for months! She's obviously insane, and if I was in charge around here I'd have her executed like the attempted murderer she is or have her thrown down with Mobius!" With that said he glared in my direction, a favor which I happily returned. There was no way that I'd ever let them put me anywhere near that raving madpony, even if I had tried to kill him.
Loudwhisper was not impressed. "Actually I didn't see what happened, and you are definitely not in charge around here. You may be one of our better soldiers, but that doesn't mean you can give me orders. I for one would like to hear the other side of this story. Flashbang, what do you say happened?" I thought on it a bit before answering, as I'd never really had a way with words. After several moments I decided what to say.
"Well ma'am," I said, trying to keep my tone as respectful as possible, "To be honest I'm not entirely sure. I was walking through the dining room minding my own business when Jaxler here came out of nowhere and knocked my over. I tried to tell him to watch where he was going and all of a sudden he pulled out this giant sword. After that I was just fighting to protect myself. It was purely self defense." I'm not sure Loudwhisper bought it, but at least she seemed to be considering my words. After all, I hadn't exactly been lying.
Finally she came to a decision. "Strongbeard," she ordered, "Take these two down to the jail. I think they both need some time to cool off." Jaxler looked outraged at this, but held his tongue when a glare from Loudwhisper nearly burned it off. I merely followed quietly, ignoring stares from the gathered crowd and accepting my punishment. It was much less than I'd thought it would be, and to be honest I really did need to stop attacking people quite as often. At least people who could fight back, anyways.
((Now wasn't that fun? However, I agree with Heavy Weapons Pony that this is getting ridiculous. Jaxler and Bukitodinos, you really need to stop with the crazy. I mean seriously, random descriptions about your giant swords and zebra sieges out of nowhere? At least try and stick to what TheOddDemon has said has happened. Until he returns you should at least slow down. You're kind of ruining the thread. I don't want it to die but continuing it like this seems rather cruel. This will be my last story post until things calm down a little. Fwoosh out.))
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Topic: A Pony's Hell (Community Fort) (Read 13334 times)