Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[uncanny soul]

so i had this super amazing legendary marksdwarf/ambusher/something else who had single handedly fought off an entire goblin siege armed with nothing but a wooden crossbow and five bone bolts after being locked out of the fortress and left for dead before they were legendary in anything

a year later two while trying to collect web for a moody dwarves request two forgotten beasts sneak into my fortress, the legendary marksdwarf and nine axedwarves finish off the first fb, a giant salt man, with ease, then the second one appears, a giant flying scaly leech of doom
luckily, or possibly unluckily the marksdwarf was off collecting more ammo at the time and the second fb proceeded to murder all the axedwarves so i closed the bridge sealing off the mines and cave access
i then started to hollow out a room in one of the pillars of the main room of the mine, the fb standing there watching the entire time and wandering around waiting for my juicy dwarves to come out of hiding, i covered the walls in fortifications so that my marksdwarf would be able to murder this fb as well, and right as the last fortification was finished being carved i recieve this message 'edem etasezum marksdwarf has bled to death'

so i look around and cant find the dwarf anywhere in my fortress, finally i check on the surface and i see my dwarf there, a capybara standing a few tiles away, likely striking a menacing pose and then a few more tiles away i see the marksdwarfs severed arm
needless to say i was dumbstruck, there was no way a capybara could have taken out my legendary marksdwarf like that, so i check the combat log and sure enough the capybara clawed the dwarves freakin arm off and murdered its face

i have a feeling this might be the end of my fortress...

[Crioca]

Just wait until you're dealing with werecapybaras.

On a marginally related side note, I actually own a pair of capybara gloves.

[uncanny soul]

whelp this is the end of this fifteen year old fortress
with no military to speak of i decided to flood the mines to drown the fb skulking around in there, unfortunately i accidently channeled into two different floors of my fortress, not noticing this i went ahead and flooded the channel and thus my fortress
by the time i noticed the flooding the entire housing/feasting hall floor was flooded in 1/7-4/7 deep water and the crafting floor was half flooded so i started looking around for the source of the flood
meanwhile the dwarf that origionally asked for the silk that got me into this problem in the first place decided to go berserk which i chose to ignore, i figured my last two untrained axedwarves or war grizzly would take care of the crazy dwarf
unfortunatly i was wrong again, well only half wrong, the dwarf was killed by my war grizzly, but not before it managed to get to the lever room and pull every single lever in there completely closing my fortress off from the outside world and opening a floodgate which caused the well in my hospital to flood due to my noobish design and finally opening the bridges that lead to the mines
of course i didnt know any of this was happening till i saw a cat sitting in the middle of the semi flooded dinning room spewing out miasma, i figured it had just drowned and none of the dwarves had carried off the corpse so i cheked it and it turned out that it was still alive and its feet were just rotting
by this time i was bewildered, i thought it was a glitch or something, until i noticed that it wasnt just that cat, it was just about every single cat in the entire fortress and a couple dwarves as well, all with varying degrees of rot, running around like nothing was wrong

then i noticed this giant white explosion in the middle of the living floor, my eyes opened wide in terror, there was only one thing that could mean, the giant scaly flying leech of flesh melting was in my fortress eating my dwarves!
so i sat there panicking for about ten minutes straight as the beast chased down stray kittens and the ocasional dwarf, finally it chased something back down into the mine and i was able to send someone to the switch room and lock it back in there

so here i am now, a fortress slowly filling up with water that i cant stop due to the current at the entry points, ninty rotting cats walking around squirting out miasma all over, the entire 10,000 food stockpiles unreachable due to high water, all the crafting stations completely submerged, and half my 86 dwarves idling in the miasma soaked 4/7 water filled great dining hall, not to mention a dwarf just now entered a fey mood as im writing this, of course theres no way he will be able to make anything with the stockpiles and workshops submerged the way they are

now the only thing left to do is see if the dwarves drown, tantrum spiral, or if the river gets low enough that the two goblin invasions sitting on the other side of my mote can get across and find a way in (now that my lever room is unaccessible due to water)




...on the bright side all my dwarves can swim now

[Doomchild-]

Spoiler: A determined capybara is a powerful foe! (click to show/hide)

Protect your dwarves and icecream at all costs!

[Quantumtroll]

  Holy smokes, that is a capybara!?  I had no idea of the size of those things, I imagined them to be more like large swimming hamster-shaped rabbits.  Eep!

[Di]

Raw fun! Praise the miners!
Really, the most spectacular fail I've ever seen, good job.

[King DZA]

In reality: Capybaras are some of the most adorable little fuckers(well, maybe not little...) I've ever seen, and i would love nothing more than to hug and frolic with them til the end of time.

In DF: i want to take a sharp, jagged object, journey across the mountainsides, and personally stab each and every one of them in their cute little eyeballs.

[Doomchild-]

it seems they make good pets but unfortunatly they're not on the 'allowed pet'-list in my country. strangely enough, the Mara is on the list, eventhough it's just as 'exotic' and it's listed as a 'near-theathened' species which the capybara isnt.

[RavingManiac]

Did the marksdwarf get off any shots on the capybara during the fight, or was he ambushed and mauled a la Jurassic Park?

[King DZA]

I wouldn't want a Capybara as a pet. I would want one as a companion.
We would leave our carefree homes and travel the world, going on a variety of wacky and exciting adventures. We would play off each others strengths, and cover each others weaknesses. And, despite our differences, we soon would become one of the greatest adventuring teams of all time.

He would also have a hat. Although my brain might be liquefied and drip from my ears from the immense amount of cuteness.

Or, even better! I will journey to the territory of the Capybara, earn my keep, gain their trust, and become their king.

[Lagslayer]

Raw fun! Praise the miners!
Really, the most spectacular fail I've ever seen, good job.

I agree with this statement.

[uncanny soul]

actually the marksdwarf was the one that initiated the combat by shooting the capybara in the right front leg i wasnt actually watching the combat so i dont know how far apart they were when it started, but i do know the marksdwarf only fired twice, once at the leg and the second time was right before the marksdwarf lost an arm, the dwarf had shot the capybara in the face for minor damage, how the beast could survive a shot to the face from a legendary marksdwarf and gain the upper hand i may never know

what surprises me even more though was how the capybara managed to enlist the two forgotten beasts and the moody silk seeking craftsdwarf into its nefarious schemes


edit: by face i mean head

[Doomchild-]

i see my dwarf there, a capybara standing a few tiles away, likely striking a menacing pose and then a few more tiles away i see the marksdwarfs severed arm

how the beast could survive a shot to the face from a legendary marksdwarf and gain the upper hand i may never know

that made me laugh

[Victuz]

whelp this is the end of this fifteen year old fortress
with no military to speak of i decided to flood the mines to drown the fb skulking around in there, unfortunately i accidently channeled into two different floors of my fortress, not noticing this i went ahead and flooded the channel and thus my fortress
by the time i noticed the flooding the entire housing/feasting hall floor was flooded in 1/7-4/7 deep water and the crafting floor was half flooded so i started looking around for the source of the flood

And that is EXACTLY why I place magma proof doors on every intersection and in every corridor.
If I say hit an aquifer or poorly reroute magma I'm just like "well... back off a section work around that guys".

[CriticallyAshamed]

It's funny we're mentioning how cute Capybaras are. I admit that picture up there is adorable, but I still murder them for training and amusement.

On a completely related note; I'm using the Ironhand tileset and Badger cubs are just so frekkin' cute. It's a pity badgers themselves are the nightmares of Satan himself.