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Author Topic: No sieges?  (Read 1558 times)

FoiledFencer

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No sieges?
« on: October 05, 2011, 04:12:38 pm »
So, my fort is running merrily along with 100+ dwarves, lots of FB's and plenty of wealth. The elaborate entrance-defences are nearly finished and the summer of the fifth year has come.

Effeminate elves bringing cloth and buying the latest mountainhome-fashions, courteous human merchants bringing exotic products from remote kingdoms and dwarven caravans keeping the fortress stocked with the best brews of the Mountainhome. But no goblins.

I don't get it. I'm not on an island and I'm not in an enclosed valley. Any ideas as to why they aren't coming for a slice of the wealth?

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"Lithrushâst Kúdlizat: Fetidfur, the slick notch, a grizzly bear leather loincloth. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is studded with zinc, decorated with grizzly bear leather and encircled with bands of grizzly bear leather. This object menaces with spikes of grizzly bear leather."

Telgin

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Re: No sieges?
« Reply #1 on: October 05, 2011, 04:49:28 pm »
Can't say for sure, but in the two forts I've run so far, I never got any sieges until year 4, so maybe they just haven't showed up yet.  Are there any goblin civilizations on your civs menu?  Maybe they're extinct (I assume this is possible like other civs).
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FoiledFencer

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Re: No sieges?
« Reply #2 on: October 05, 2011, 05:48:51 pm »
None in the civ menu, but I haven't encountered any baby-snatchers either, so I figure it's just that I havent met any yet. The humans and the elves didn't show up until their caravans entered the map after all.
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"Lithrushâst Kúdlizat: Fetidfur, the slick notch, a grizzly bear leather loincloth. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is studded with zinc, decorated with grizzly bear leather and encircled with bands of grizzly bear leather. This object menaces with spikes of grizzly bear leather."

Melissia

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Re: No sieges?
« Reply #3 on: October 05, 2011, 05:51:00 pm »
I've only gotten one siege, and it was rather pathetic... a mere fifteen or so gobbos.  One squad of five axedwarves wiped the floor with them, and my captain earned a title through slaughtering so many of them herself, to the point where she's now mayor because nobody wants to piss her off.
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: No sieges?
« Reply #4 on: October 05, 2011, 05:55:16 pm »
If there wasn't so much as a single baby thief, you might just be unlucky. Try angering the humans.
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Melissia

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Re: No sieges?
« Reply #5 on: October 05, 2011, 06:01:56 pm »
No baby thieves here, I even checked runesmith.  Just ambushes and one siege.
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JDF117

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Re: No sieges?
« Reply #6 on: October 05, 2011, 10:09:20 pm »
 I think they're extinct, but luckily for you there's another good race for sieges called elves. Killing elves is philanthropic and driving elves to extinction or even near it would make me want to nominate you for sainthood. They don't even protect their caravans! You can just walk up and grab their stuff. Plus, after you slaughter their seiges you will realize that elven blood is very good for painting murals (both of cheese and people dying) and they often ride mounts that can be butchered for delicious food! How can you resist the allure of 'Prepared Unicorn Brain'?
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UristMcHuman

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Re: No sieges?
« Reply #7 on: October 05, 2011, 10:34:50 pm »
Quote from: JDF117 on October 05, 2011, 10:09:20 pm
I think they're extinct, but luckily for you there's another good race for sieges called elves. Killing elves is philanthropic and driving elves to extinction or even near it would make me want to nominate you for sainthood. They don't even protect their caravans! You can just walk up and grab their stuff. Plus, after you slaughter their seiges you will realize that elven blood is very good for painting murals (both of cheese and people dying) and they often ride mounts that can be butchered for delicious food! How can you resist the allure of 'Prepared Unicorn Brain'?
WHY must EVERY SINGLE FORUM POSTER have to say something about pointlessly murdering babies, puppies, and elves?!?!?!?! ON EVERY DAMN POST?!?!?!?!?! It's pointless if the gobbos don't show up. Just BE PATIENT. There's this saying called "Patience is a virtue" and it pays off. Good.

And unicorns are simply horses with a horn on their head. What's so good about butchering them??? They're just another basic form of wildlife.
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JDF117

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Re: No sieges?
« Reply #8 on: October 06, 2011, 12:11:08 am »
  They aren't nice sparkly happy fairy Elves. Elves make jokes about you being short in diplomatic talks and WILL EAT DEAD DWARVES. I hardly think they are innocent of wrong-doing themselves. Also, if you can kill the elves you can lock the unicorns in a room and wait for them to breed. (Unicorn products are worth 4 times as much as usual horse ones, so you can get insanely high value unicorn food and masterwork unicorn skull totems are also really valuable.)

....and y'know, I was joking
« Last Edit: October 06, 2011, 12:25:53 am by JDF117 »
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Wannazzaki

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Re: No sieges?
« Reply #9 on: October 06, 2011, 12:17:30 am »
Quote from: UristMcHuman on October 05, 2011, 10:34:50 pm
Quote from: JDF117 on October 05, 2011, 10:09:20 pm
I think they're extinct, but luckily for you there's another good race for sieges called elves. Killing elves is philanthropic and driving elves to extinction or even near it would make me want to nominate you for sainthood. They don't even protect their caravans! You can just walk up and grab their stuff. Plus, after you slaughter their seiges you will realize that elven blood is very good for painting murals (both of cheese and people dying) and they often ride mounts that can be butchered for delicious food! How can you resist the allure of 'Prepared Unicorn Brain'?
WHY must EVERY SINGLE FORUM POSTER have to say something about pointlessly murdering babies, puppies, and elves?!?!?!?! ON EVERY DAMN POST?!?!?!?!?! It's pointless if the gobbos don't show up. Just BE PATIENT. There's this saying called "Patience is a virtue" and it pays off. Good.

And unicorns are simply horses with a horn on their head. What's so good about butchering them??? They're just another basic form of wildlife.


I think we have an elf in our midsts. I mean look at his nametag. Urst McHuman? Who is this elf trying to kid wearing such a blatantly false name? ON A TAG! Time for a head start on those elf sieges by chaining him up for the resident Crossbowmen to practice shooting elves with! Urist McBonecarver, be prepared to create the ceremonial elf killing elf bone bolts.
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Zander J

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Re: No sieges?
« Reply #10 on: October 06, 2011, 02:03:24 am »
Only dwarf fortress players would be unhappy about the lack of murderous invaders.
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FoiledFencer

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Re: No sieges?
« Reply #11 on: October 06, 2011, 02:31:07 am »
Neither elves nor humans have given me a reason to fight them. If I can't have the gobbos I guess I will turn my defences downwards, seal the fortress and start going for the delicious candy. Hard.
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"Lithrushâst Kúdlizat: Fetidfur, the slick notch, a grizzly bear leather loincloth. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is studded with zinc, decorated with grizzly bear leather and encircled with bands of grizzly bear leather. This object menaces with spikes of grizzly bear leather."

antymattar

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Re: No sieges?
« Reply #12 on: October 06, 2011, 03:16:22 am »
You are doing it wrong! You are not spoopsed to WAIT for the seige! You are sopposed to MAKE a siege. Besiege the underground!!!
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Azure

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Re: No sieges?
« Reply #13 on: October 06, 2011, 04:45:46 am »
Quote from: Melissia on October 05, 2011, 05:51:00 pm
I've only gotten one siege, and it was rather pathetic... a mere fifteen or so gobbos.  One squad of five axedwarves wiped the floor with them, and my captain earned a title through slaughtering so many of them herself, to the point where she's now mayor because nobody wants to piss her off.

They get stronger with time. Eventually they will start riding mounts, Then surprise mounts. 45 gobbos riding cave crocodiles can wreck a day.

Quote from: UristMcHuman on October 05, 2011, 10:34:50 pm
Quote from: JDF117 on October 05, 2011, 10:09:20 pm
I think they're extinct, but luckily for you there's another good race for sieges called elves. Killing elves is philanthropic and driving elves to extinction or even near it would make me want to nominate you for sainthood. They don't even protect their caravans! You can just walk up and grab their stuff. Plus, after you slaughter their seiges you will realize that elven blood is very good for painting murals (both of cheese and people dying) and they often ride mounts that can be butchered for delicious food! How can you resist the allure of 'Prepared Unicorn Brain'?
WHY must EVERY SINGLE FORUM POSTER have to say something about pointlessly murdering babies, puppies, and elves?!?!?!?! ON EVERY DAMN POST?!?!?!?!?! It's pointless if the gobbos don't show up. Just BE PATIENT. There's this saying called "Patience is a virtue" and it pays off. Good.

And unicorns are simply horses with a horn on their head. What's so good about butchering them??? They're just another basic form of wildlife.

Try to not aggravate the elves until you have breeding pairs of bears, wolves, giant eagles, or whatever exotic pet they're bringing you. Then feel free to use immolate-trees or cut down every tree and enjoy the fun.
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Melissia

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Re: No sieges?
« Reply #14 on: October 06, 2011, 05:38:34 am »
Quote from: Azure on October 06, 2011, 04:45:46 am
They get stronger with time. Eventually they will start riding mounts, Then surprise mounts. 45 gobbos riding cave crocodiles can wreck a day.
They're taking so long that I've managed to set up dozens and dozens of serrated disc traps in suitable places.  If they come, even in such numbers, they'll take huge casualties from the traps alone, nevermind my well-equipped militia, which currently numbers 45 dwarves (five hammerlords, five axelords, five marksdwarves, 20 speardwarves, 10 swordsdwarves) all equipped with iron/steel armor and iron/steel weapons.
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