Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Loud Whispers]

King Dza, calm down

Goblins hang dead bodies on spikes everywhere! They worship demons instead of hurtling bolts at them! Imagine the unhappy thoughts those children get when they smell miasma everywhere in a dark, dark fortress.
Not like a good dwarf fortress, where every child is allowed a goblin kill a year.

Also, that does sound pretty cool. If only the goblins shared the same respect.
Have you tried throwing the dead bodies off a tower instead of a mountain?
Better yet, why not live ones? :D:D:D:D:D:D

[Mdort Goblinsmiter]

Oh jebus... this thread made my fortress much creepier. lol

[Loud Whispers]

Oh jebus... this thread made my fortress much creepier. lol

YOUR FACE MADE MY FORTRESS CREEPIER

Literally, I'm going to find the nearest living thing, give it your name and skin it's face off.

TA DAH! Only in Dwarf fortress.

[King DZA]

King Dza, calm down

Goblins hang dead bodies on spikes everywhere! They worship demons instead of hurtling bolts at them! Imagine the unhappy thoughts those children get when they smell miasma everywhere in a dark, dark fortress.
Not like a good dwarf fortress, where every child is allowed a goblin kill a year.

Also, that does sound pretty cool. If only the goblins shared the same respect.
Have you tried throwing the dead bodies off a tower instead of a mountain?
Better yet, why not live ones? :D:D:D:D:D:D

Heh, that was written a while back. I just sigged it because people seemed to like it. Now, I'm on an everlasting quest to discover the truth behind the mysterious nature of the goblins(among other creatures). But you should already know that.


Although, for the record, I still consider myself an enemy of Armok, and I also still plan to make my king haul every last rotting corpse from the DeathMaze by himself, should he decide to show up.

[Loud Whispers]

Yeaah ;p

NOW GET BACK TO DAH DORF PHILOSOPEHZ
I just realised this thread is about babies being stolen and all, and I've been using them as live bait in my fortress to catch snatchers xd

[Loud Whispers]

'I'm free from this horrible fort!'
'wanna beat this guy up?'
'YES!'
*punches*
'that was your mother, you know.'
'I don't give a shit!'

the way that gobbos brainwash children- do it while they are euphoric.

Jokes on them, that dwarf kid is now armed, and is going through a fey mood.
Good luck finding Giant Cat Spider Silk studded with rainbows and BRIX.

[Loud Whispers]

Damn DF, you scary

[JJtoocool]

Damn DF, you scary

Were you closing your eyes the past few years?

[Loud Whispers]

Damn DF, you scary

Were you closing your eyes the past few years?

The insanity just made everything look normal.

[Tlc2011]

I read a post about a clown king leading a goblin siege, fleeing, and never being able to return due to this bug.

I've been playing too much SS13. I pictured a U charging into battle with his shoes honking, and his throat releasing a battlehonk. Did I mention he is a legendary banananana lasher?

SS13?

Also...Because this thread is more creepy then anything else ever...

My Reaction to this Thread:

[Loud Whispers]

Has anyone else noticed Jack Sparrow invading all of the threads? I sense a great meme migration occuring... The winds of fate are blowing.

[RabidAnubis]

You have become DWARF.

Armok is pleased.  Your offerings of GOBLIN must continue.  Blood for the Blood God! ‼BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD‼

*Cue dramatic music*
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiSiRAZRCVA

But at what cost....

All i ever wanted was to create a nice home for my dwarves, a sanctuary from the terrors below, and the horrors abroad. I was even in the process of creating a huge deathmaze to ensure their safety. But now, i don't know if i can continue its construction...

In my attempts to protect them, i realize i have been doing nothing but keeping them imprisoned. And for what? the mountainhomes? the king? Armok!?
Armok be damned! No longer will i participate in this madness for his amusement! I shall be his slave no more!

No, no...The maze has already been started, i can't back out of it now....But no longer will it be an endeavor of glory, and pride. But one of mourning, and sorrow. And from this day forth, all worthy opponents shall be honored with a slab.

Heh, And as for the king...The one who sends these dwarves to their deaths for his own gain, i hope he comes. I hope he is able to witness the monstrosity created in his name! He shall be put on full-time corpse hauling duty, and he alone shall carry the rotting dead from the ground on which they lie.

As for me, my punishment shall come from knowing that every goblin slayed, is fighting for a better cause than i, as a leader of dwarves, could ever hope for.

Unto my dwarves, prosperity.

Unto my god, destruction.

And unto myself, retribution.

AWESOME!

[Necro910]

I read a post about a clown king leading a goblin siege, fleeing, and never being able to return due to this bug.

I've been playing too much SS13. I pictured a U charging into battle with his shoes honking, and his throat releasing a battlehonk. Did I mention he is a legendary banananana lasher?

SS13?

Space Station 13.

What we're supposed to do: Do our jobs, and catch the traitor/alien/terrorist that snuck aboard.
What we actually do: Beat the clown, and generally fuck shit up. See: Burn down the bomb making facility, make drugs, then break into places we're not supposed to.

[Geen]

I read a post about a clown king leading a goblin siege, fleeing, and never being able to return due to this bug.

I've been playing too much SS13. I pictured a U charging into battle with his shoes honking, and his throat releasing a battlehonk. Did I mention he is a legendary banananana lasher?

SS13?

Space Station 13.

What we're supposed to do: Do our jobs, and catch the traitor/alien/terrorist that snuck aboard.
What we actually do: Beat the clown, and generally fuck shit up. See: Burn down the bomb making facility, make drugs, then break into places we're not supposed to.

Ah, so true. It would be great if anyone did their jobs, but instead they do stupid stuff like play Russian roulette and cover the station in blood.

[Necro910]

I read a post about a clown king leading a goblin siege, fleeing, and never being able to return due to this bug.

I've been playing too much SS13. I pictured a U charging into battle with his shoes honking, and his throat releasing a battlehonk. Did I mention he is a legendary banananana lasher?

SS13?

Space Station 13.

What we're supposed to do: Do our jobs, and catch the traitor/alien/terrorist that snuck aboard.
What we actually do: Beat the clown, and generally fuck shit up. See: Burn down the bomb making facility, make drugs, then break into places we're not supposed to.

Ah, so true. It would be great if anyone did their jobs, but instead they do stupid stuff like play Pin the Napalm on the Clown and cover the station in shit.

Fixed that for you.

And yes, I do wish people would do their god damn jobs. I'm sick of shitscurity, clowns, and mad bombers.