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[TheFlame52]

So I just read the whole thread in 4 hours while feverish and sick as a dog and THIS THREAD IS TOO AWESOME TO DIE! LIVE! LIIIIIIIVE!

Also:

The only other news down here is that one of the newer refugees is named, and I quote "Oh Belgium that elephant looks hungry".

I will never make fun of any other name. Also, I'm not sure what "belgium" means, but I'm sure it's deeply, deeply offensive.

Sig'd

[MarcAFK]

Varnish seems a little late with the update, I'll give him a prod.

[Eotyrannus]

ALL HAIL OCEANBRIDGE!

[highmax28]

HAIL! HAIL!

[varnish]

Wow, yeah, it's been a while again. I'll get the fortress out, see if I can make sense of enough of it to work on an update.

I might have lost the text file for the story, which is frustrating. I can't depend on my own memory. That thing is like swiss cheese.

[varnish]

The Merchants

The caravan that had arrived at the gates only just barely qualified as such. There were two overloaded wagons, significantly piled up with what looked like barrels of booze. The wagons had been driven to the entrance of the fort by a group of five dwarfs. Probably dwarfs, at least. That, or they were piles of dirt that learned how to move about on there own.

Balnash saluted Aban when he saw her. "Look at this mess. I don't think I ever saw a group of people as pathetic and filthy as that." He gave that some thought. "Apart from all of us here, I mean."

"But they are people, right? Not... not like, walking skeletons wearin' skin as a disguise, right?" The other guard looked to Aban for an answer.

"I... oh, come on Slime, I don't want to be thinking about that if we let them through the gate. Just let me talk to them, all right? We'll worry about being murdered in our beds once we're drunk enough to sleep in them, or something."

The wagoneers, or caravaners, or secret undead (whatever they might be) were milling around at the base of the fortress wall, looking lost and muttering to each other. Aban greeted the group as formally as she could. "Hey! Who the hell are you people?"

The dwarf who answered was the best dressed, or the cleanest of them. She stood up straight, and called back, "Ah, someone yet lives. This is Oceanbridge, is it not? The cursed fortress? The center of the doom that has blighted our world?"

"Well, yes. The first one, I mean."

The merchant literally jumped, which was a strange thing to see someone actually do. "I knew it! Quickly, turn the wagons around. If we run as fast as we can, we might make it back to the jungle alive." She started to push the others, who were still looking very confused.

"Wait, wait! Don't run away! We aren't... we aren't all that doomed anymore. And we would really, really like to know what's going on in the rest of the world! Isn't there anything you need? We can trade with you!"

The last part got their leaders attention. She stopped pushing her guards "Ah... We do need weapons. It is a dangerous path we follow. Though not as dangerous as this place, I would believe."

This might actually work, Aban realized. "Weapons? Well, yes, we have weapons. We have weapons everywhere. You're standing next to at least three spears right now." The merchant leader looked down. "Yes, you see, right under all of those heaps of skeletons you're standing on. Wait! I said don't run!"

...................

From the Journals of Aban Brothertreaties

We traded with the merchants! Not that they had much, but they did have enough wine to keep us going for a bit longer. I'd like to say that I've talked to the caravan's leader, found out some more things, and so on. But I can't.

Because she's been trapped in the mayor's room for two weeks.



 I fear for her.

............................

Next: I promise nothing.

[peregarrett]

Wow, it moves! Haven't seen a caravan for... don't remember how long.

[varnish]

(got to keep on moving))

From the Journals of Aban Brothertreaties

There's still a lot that we don't understand about the underworld, I've found. It's filled with all sorts of creatures that I would never have imagined existing in a sane world. (Not that we have one of those). From strange tapir beasts, to kangaroo monsters, to flying eyeballs to... rutherers.



What the hell is a rutherer? The soldiers who killed the trio that came up reported that they had "huge tails" which tells me exactly nothing. I guess I should be thankful that they're a thing that we can kill, and not a thing that kills all of us.

The soldiers were having fun, though. They chased the things over half the fort. I guess that's good for morale.



Now I'm just hoping that the mayor is almost finished yelling at the merchant's leader about cheese. I need to talk to her, find out just what we're dealing with out there. If there still is an out there.

...............................

Meanwhile

"Oh, I'm just singing my digging song. I've been digging so long that I forgot the words to my digging song, but I don't care because I'm singing my digging song, and I've been digging so long that-. "

"Let me know when you get close to an actual tune, Ishar."

"Ok!"

"Please stop, Ishar, I mean. That is what I meant." Remalle looked around. They'd been digging in sand for a while now. Dense, packed sand. Sand that was so close to being sandstone that only a dwarf could tell the difference, and only then if he looked very very close. But still sand. And it was becoming more... sandlike, if that was the right term. That meant something important. He just needed to remember what it was.

Then he heard a sound that he hadn't heard in a long time. "Listen, do you hear that sound, Ishar? I think that those are waves. We're at the other side, I think. Just underneath the shore."



Ishar looked up, as if she could see through the sand, and said, "Yeah, I do hear the waves! We've made it! Let's not waste anymore time. To the surface!" She swung her pick at the ceiling, bringing down a heap of wet yellow sand.  "It's funny, you know, I think I noticed the goblins and giants talking before I even noticed the waves."

"The what?" And then he heard them too. Unfortunately, it was because Ishar had opened a hole to the surface, and there were a pair of goblins playing in the surf a few feet away.

It was going to be a long run back to Oceanbridge.

................................

Next: The Rest of the World (Isn't Doing Too Well)

[peregarrett]

wait, have the Bridge been finished? or is that underground tunnel?
Anyway, we've finally made to the other side, now we should relax and collect taxes from traders passing through.

[highmax28]

wait, have the Bridge been finished? or is that underground tunnel?
Anyway, we've finally made to the other side, now we should relax and collect taxes from traders passing through.

I'm fairly certain it's the tunnel. If I remember, the bridge sits comfortably 2 or 3 z-levels above the ground. And wasn't it someone's idea to build at both ends like 10 pages back?

[varnish]

Yes, that's the tunnel. Getting the bridge to the other side will be a slightly bigger deal. To me, at least.

(The tunnel is actually going to be very helpful, because it can draw in and trap the goblins, giants, evil elves, and other leftover invaders. Otherwise finishing the bridge would be very difficult. More difficult.)

[highmax28]

Yes, that's the tunnel. Getting the bridge to the other side will be a slightly bigger deal. To me, at least.

(The tunnel is actually going to be very helpful, because it can draw in and trap the goblins, giants, evil elves, and other leftover invaders. Otherwise finishing the bridge would be very difficult. More difficult.)

There's such a thing as "good" elves? Aren't the only good elves are dead elves? 

[TheFlame52]

The Doctor is the only being in recorded history to have a mortality rate of over 100% - 127% to be exact. This is because he often kills his witnesses, as well.

[varnish]

There's such a thing as "good" elves? Aren't the only good elves are dead elves? 

((The normal elves don't actively try to to murder everyone in the fort. That makes them good, at least as far as Oceanbridge is concerned.))

Conversations:

The leader of the merchants had finally emerged from the mayor's office, looking tired and worried, but otherwise unharmed. The mayor followed her, waving and shouting to any dwarf who would listen (Which was none of them) "Thrilling news, everyone! I've convinced them to come back! And I told them we'll have lots of cheese! That's what they want from us, you know. Cheese!”



The merchant's leader spotted Aban nearby, sitting by the edge of the dry waterfall. She waited until Belgium had skipped down the stairs to the dining hall, and then said, "You do realize you have chosen a madman as your leader, right?"

Aban nodded. "Well, yes we do, but it could be worse. It has been worse here, I'm pretty sure. Listen though, I want to ask you something before you leave. What's it like out there? In the world?”

This seemed to take the other dwarf by surprise. "You really don't know? But you're the cause of all of this. The story is well known now."

"No, I mean, no to the first part. We can't really see much of the outside world here. And whenever we do get a hint, it's usually too damn cryptic to make sense of. Ghosts really love being cryptic."

"I don't understand what that means. But I can be very clear, then. The dead walk the earth, not as ghosts, but as walking corpses.

"Yeah, we know that. Haven't seen any of them here yet, though."

"Allow me to continue. Strange earthquakes rock the land, and it is not safe to stay in any place for too long. Ducks refuse to lay eggs. Those who the dead and the disasters do not kill, fall to the frost giants, who have invaded the south in great numbers. It is... not the best of times."

"...Ok. That's not... that's not what I wanted to hear. But if it's that dangerous out there, couldn't you just join us here?"

The merchant stared at her. "Listen. To get to your fortress, I had to cross a burned out wasteland coated with the skeletal remains of hundreds of sentient beings. Upon arriving, I was trapped by a mad dwarf who kept me in a mud coated "throne room" while he ranted at me about spoons and cheese. While I was in that room, I saw spirits of slain dwarfs float before my eyes and shriek gibberish at me. In fact, there are two of them behind you right now. I say this with complete certainty: We will take our chances with the giants."

From the Journals of Aban Brothertreaties

I'm starting to feel like I might have become jaded.

.............................

Next: Goblins, Still.

[peregarrett]

The merchant stared at her. "Listen. To get to your fortress, I had to cross a burned out wasteland coated with the skeletal remains of hundreds of sentient beings. Upon arriving, I was trapped by a mad dwarf who kept me in a mud coated "throne room" while he ranted at me about spoons and cheese. While I was in that room, I saw spirits of slain dwarfs float before my eyes and shriek gibberish at me. In fact, there are two of them behind you right now."

...Aaaand?...what's so unusual with that?
Those traders are always somewhat crazy, you know...

How is Gar's work doing, by the way? We surely need a new magma pumpstack here!