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Author Topic: Accursed badgers  (Read 2339 times)

Kofthefens

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Accursed badgers
« on: September 26, 2011, 10:50:40 pm »

After I embarked, a badger immediately set upon my dwarves, killing one and wounding 3 others. However, my fortress survived, and I thought I was safe. I had modded in catdragons (basically domestic dragons), and a migrant arrived with one as a pet. The badger leapt onto it and ripped its throat out. It basically killed a dragon. What are your worst / funniest experiences with badgers?
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Vehudur

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Re: Accursed badgers
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2011, 10:54:22 pm »

A badger trapped in a hole causing job cancellation spam.  Actually, there were like 4 of them there. 
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Girlinhat

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Re: Accursed badgers
« Reply #2 on: September 26, 2011, 11:05:16 pm »

My (soon to be) baron.  She was a migrant.  A thresher no less, a thoroughly useless dwarf by all accounts.  She was put to work hauling, as befit my young fort, with her part of the very first migrant wave!  But alas, as luck would have it, the felled trees are far, and the wildness is vast.  She wasn't able to see the Giant Badger come at her.  It was a valiant struggle, with much running and screaming and flailing of limbs, until the limbs stopped flailing, and started falling, and the left foot and right hand were lost to the sharp and strong teeth of the beasts.  That was until another migrant wandered by, and scared the beast, and after some days bleeding in the sand, she said carried to the rudimentary hospital zone.  There were no supplies, the cloth and thread had already been used on previous injuries and all that could be done was a simple water cleaning and fresh food brought to her bed.

Against all odds of blood loss, infection, mood drop, and the glaring threat of badger death and hospital starvation, after some weeks she rolled off her bed, dragging herself along by one hand.  At first I looked at her and said "that's ambush bait" until I started to notice her... keeping safe.  She would haul logs, but only the closest ones, and mostly occupied herself carrying furniture from workshop to stockpile, chair draped over her back like a trolley as she clawed herself around the fort by her one good hand.

So I made her my mechanic, and put a stone stockpile next to the mechanic's workshop, and she sat in the dark hours of the night, tinkering and toying as best she could, perfecting her skill as she produced Armok's Blessed Gears.  Others were assigned to instal them, with her staying inside while the more agile grunt workers would run out to hook up a trap or an axle.  Over time though, she found her own use, resetting cage traps and cleaning out weapon traps while the healthier lot went about carrying one sock at a time back into the fort.  Slowly, silently, methodically, she built and maintained the devices that have killed countless giant badgers, and fended off sieges from a half dozen enemy cultures.

She became my first mayor, and she will rightfully take the role of Duchess, where she will oversee the construction of the Tower Maximus, execution spire plus combat colosseum.  She silently and slowly carries out her plans, and things get done in their own time, even as the more able-bodied run around wasting time, she performed her perfect duties.

There was also the tale about how one of my starting seven in another fort claimed a single berry to eat, and this berry was stolen by a badger, which he proceeded to chase down, kill, and wear.

elf-fondling human

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Re: Accursed badgers
« Reply #3 on: September 26, 2011, 11:09:50 pm »

Spoiler: longer than I need (click to show/hide)

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Tevish Szat

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Re: Accursed badgers
« Reply #4 on: September 26, 2011, 11:19:23 pm »

Strangely, regular badgers have never done worse to me than create a little job cancel spam and "badger boar is no longer enraged" messages every so often, and I haven't had the fortune of encountering the giant variety, which I imagine would be lots more fun.

I used to send my military out to exterminate the blighters whenever I saw them, and still would if I encountered them early in a fort's life, but they're not really much more than a disruption of above-ground labors.  I started posting on these forums and seeing the badger remarks thinking they were an artifact of the past, like killer carp and Boatmurdered's elephants

Though I hope to keep my record of no dwarves maimed or killed by non-giant badgers, tales of their ferocity make me worried that I have simply been exceptionally fortunate in not being on the receiving end of a true badger siege.
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dirkzen

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Re: Accursed badgers
« Reply #5 on: September 26, 2011, 11:25:36 pm »

Its sort of like this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIyixC9NsLI

Every other embark. 
Only with less snakes and mushrooms.
..and more badgers.

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Vehudur

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Re: Accursed badgers
« Reply #6 on: September 26, 2011, 11:31:25 pm »

Its sort of like this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIyixC9NsLI

Every other embark. 
Only with less snakes and mushrooms.
..and more badgers.

Rarely do I watch a video that leaves me searching for words but...

What...  The...  Hell...  Did...  I...  Just...  Watch?
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...and a third died in his bunk of natural causes - for a dagger in the heart quite naturally ends one's life.

I used to have an avatar, but I was told to remove it after it kept making people go insane.

CriticallyAshamed

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Re: Accursed badgers
« Reply #7 on: September 26, 2011, 11:33:12 pm »

I always will say "Oh look a family of badgers! I'll just leave them alone and they won't do a thing... I know I said that last time but surely, they are all the way up there and badgers are kinda cute"... Of course I am an idiot. Give them five minutes and they are already inside my chicken farm and have killed several of the best hens and bitten a couple of dwarves. They get trapped between wanting to get out and being scared/enraged by dwarves until I summon up all the military to go kill them.

Yaks are just as bad for this, except they seem to have hooves carved from purest slade itself. Bastards.

Edit; for the record, Crabs is a much better song.
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dirkzen

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Re: Accursed badgers
« Reply #8 on: September 26, 2011, 11:42:36 pm »

Its sort of like this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIyixC9NsLI

Every other embark. 
Only with less snakes and mushrooms.
..and more badgers.

Rarely do I watch a video that leaves me searching for words but...

What...  The...  Hell...  Did...  I...  Just...  Watch?
A dwarven documentary on badgers.


Also, I should note that badger-men tend to give me more problems than regular badgers.
They seem a bit more bad-tempered and a little stronger than thier smaller, fluffy cousins.
....though they have a tendency to walk into my cage traps more often as well... I don't know if theres a correlation there or not.  Science and testing is still underway.
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Mitchewawa

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Re: Accursed badgers
« Reply #9 on: September 26, 2011, 11:54:44 pm »

Rarely do I watch a video that leaves me searching for words but...

What...  The...  Hell...  Did...  I...  Just...  Watch?
A dwarven documentary on badgers.

That can't be right. This video is not rated R18+ for extreme violence, extreme language and brief nudity.
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Eoganachta

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Re: Accursed badgers
« Reply #10 on: September 27, 2011, 12:36:40 am »

I had a fort indirectly slaughtered my badgers.
I embarked on where a major river and a stream met and found vertical cliffs leading 30+ z-levels down from the forest above to the water below. Awesome! I thought. So I spent the year digging out an epic fortress hanging off the cliff face with lots of bridges going across the river. I designed a drowning trap at the bottom and dug a second entrance (the first was dug down from the top of the cliff to the water) at the bottom. so that enemies would be forced to go through it, for grazers, and to stop those damn badgers from spamming me, I started walling off the above ground area at the top of the cliff. The badgers however kept causing job cancelation spam and it took longer than nessescary to start work on the wall. Before it was finished, however, a goblin ambush arrived and I sent out my milita who had not been dangerroomed due to time and distractions (top wall, drowning trap, badgers, etc). They were slaughtered, the dorfs I mean. The gobs took the main stairwell and killed the remaining masons working on the above ground wall and all my lifestock and pets after all the doors were locked. The dwarves got depressed and I abandoned before they could all go mad or beserk.
It would have been a great fortress if the game had not chosen badgers to throw at me in the first year.
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Re: Accursed badgers
« Reply #11 on: September 27, 2011, 01:23:56 am »

I was rather accompanied with the regular badgers, who didn't cause much harm, but then in my latest fort...

On embark there were 4 or 5 giant badger boars right by my wagon. They immediately slaughtered both my dogs while i tried to get a meeting hall inside my fort. They remain outside with the remains of my dogs to this day. I am scared.
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CaptainBadwheel

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Re: Accursed badgers
« Reply #12 on: September 27, 2011, 03:23:30 am »

Yeah I have giant badgers and badger people that show up at my fortress.  I've tamed some of the giant badgers for food and guard animals. I think I've lost like 10-15 dwarfs to them mostly wood cutters and fisherdwarfs, and they were the reason I built a wall and disabled hunting on my hunterdwarfs. I think in rl badgers are considered dangerous but usually solitary, these come in huge packs. Every time I see the swarm of "B"s come up on my screen all I can think is badger badger badger badger...
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Re: Accursed badgers
« Reply #13 on: September 27, 2011, 03:39:22 am »

my current fortress has the occasional honey badger getting enraged at my dwarves from across the river, but nothing serious. unfortunatly they seem to stay away from my cagetraps... i'm still hoping to catch a few, start a honey badger herd and use a honey badger pit to get rid of the goblins that do end up in my cagetraps... drop a few goblins (stripped of their armor and weapons ofc) in a pit with 20 honey badgers, enjoy the red mist and watch it rain body parts.
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Johuotar

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Re: Accursed badgers
« Reply #14 on: September 27, 2011, 06:50:39 am »

I once created wall to keep giant badgers out. When it was finished I noticed that the badgers had snuck in and they killed 3 dwarves who had nowhere to run. :P
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