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Author Topic: !!HORSEPLAY!!  (Read 18027 times)

Azkul

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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #15 on: September 26, 2011, 11:03:19 am »

IT IS A TRAP
THE HORSE IS FEARSOME BEAST
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Whereas !!ALCHEMY!! has, since the times of Kings Arthur and Charlemagne, been about transforming oneself into a horse using feces.
It turns out sleep is unnecessary because you can just get married and get infinite kisses

Hubris Incalculable

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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #16 on: September 26, 2011, 11:06:14 am »

You decide that you will run in there screaming, to gain it's friendship. You ought to know, for future reference, that this is incredibly stupid. however, it seems to have worked, (2d10: 16)* or else the ugly creature is deaf. You pick up four pieces of equestrian excrement, and get on your way.

>What do?

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LordSlowpoke

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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #17 on: September 26, 2011, 11:31:08 am »

Go home, then combine the empty glass pitcher with the pitcher of dangerous looking yellow chemical, the pitcher of horse shite and 2x piece of soft grey metal. And a shilling.

Apply heat until SCIENCE! is visibly completed.
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LAAT501legion

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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #18 on: September 26, 2011, 11:32:49 am »

Go home, then combine the empty glass pitcher with the pitcher of dangerous looking yellow chemical, the pitcher of horse shite and 2x piece of soft grey metal. And a shilling.

Apply heat until SCIENCE! is visibly completed.
This
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This isn't reality.
THIS IS DWARF FORTRESS!!
*kicks an elf into the pit*
Roll to be a BATTLE WIZARD

Hubris Incalculable

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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #19 on: September 26, 2011, 11:40:51 am »

((Do you mean i should use up all of the DLYC and horse shite? cause if so, that's an awful waste. DLYC is very hard to come by.))
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LordSlowpoke

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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #20 on: September 26, 2011, 11:46:26 am »

((Do you mean i should use up all of the DLYC and horse shite? cause if so, that's an awful waste. DLYC is very hard to come by.))

Third of the DLYC, third of the shite, rest filled with soft gray metal and that shilling. I assumed the pitchers are all the same size and didn't bother telling the specifics.
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Monkeyfacedprickleback

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  • Sweet flaming monkey fire WHY are they doing that?
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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #21 on: September 26, 2011, 11:49:22 am »

Can we examine the chemicals we already have.
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lawastooshort

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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #22 on: September 26, 2011, 01:04:38 pm »

((Do you mean i should use up all of the DLYC and horse shite? cause if so, that's an awful waste. DLYC is very hard to come by.))

Third of the DLYC, third of the shite, rest filled with soft gray metal and that shilling. I assumed the pitchers are all the same size and didn't bother telling the specifics.


Do this, but harder.
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woose1

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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #23 on: September 26, 2011, 02:04:53 pm »

POUR RANDOM SHIT INTO OTHER VIALS OF RANDOM SHIT
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Hubris Incalculable

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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #24 on: September 26, 2011, 02:48:52 pm »

You decide to try your hand at some !!ALCHEMY!!. You dump 1 1/3 lumps of shite into the other empty pitcher, add 1/3 of your dangerous looking yellow chemical, and put two pieces of heavy, grey metal and a shilling in as well. It's begun to smell like a latrine in here. You decide to let this stuff boil down, but upon searching, you find that you don't have any heat-source.

> What shall you do?

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« Last Edit: September 27, 2011, 08:51:03 am by hubris_incalculable »
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forsaken1111

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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #25 on: September 26, 2011, 03:02:29 pm »

March down to the office of the owner of this rented room and demand that he or she furnish you with a candle for !SCIENCE! !!ALCHEMY!!.

Then consult thine books upon Alchemy and see if we can identify this yellow chemical which we have likely wasted.
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Hubris Incalculable

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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #26 on: September 26, 2011, 03:31:56 pm »

I likely won't update till tomorrow, but keep those suggestions coming!
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Ibid Straydrink

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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #27 on: September 26, 2011, 03:43:10 pm »

If you want to get this shite cooking, a candle simply will not do! What we need are some coals and a cast-iron cauldron.

Head to the general store to purchase these common household items, and purchase a sizable bag of salt while you are there. Can't cook shite without salt.
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“I am the spirit that negates. And rightly so, for all that comes to be. Deserves to perish wretchedly; 'Twere better nothing would begin."

Hubris Incalculable

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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #28 on: September 27, 2011, 09:03:16 am »

Huh? Alchemy books? Are there such things? You certainly don't have any, in any case.

The voices are talking about a general store. What the heck is a general store? In any case, they mention an iron cauldron and coal. You know where to get those. After cleaning your gloves off very carefully and putting your protective specs away for now, you walk over to William Smith's smithy, and purchase a reasonably sized cauldron for 6 shillings, and a bag of coal for 2 shillings, 2 farthings. The bag of coal should last about two days, if used judiciously. A quick walk down to the market provides you with a farthing bag of salt, and you head home. Boy, does it stink in here.

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LordSlowpoke

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Re: !!ALCHEMY!!
« Reply #29 on: September 27, 2011, 09:09:01 am »

Fine sirs, we have created piss out of a various amount of probably very expensive materials. This leads me to believe that we could reverse this process and get said various amounts of probably expensive materials out of piss. That's what !!ALCHEMY!! is about. And I'm running on the terrible implication that the smell of a latrine is the fact we turned shite into piss somehow.

Oh, and stink bombs. How to make those, I have no idea. But it should be done.
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