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Author Topic: Adventures of a Slightly Insane Bisexual Crossdresser  (Read 18008 times)

stabbymcstabstab

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  • OW SNAP!
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Re: Adventures of a Slightly Insane Bisexual Crossdresser
« Reply #225 on: October 01, 2011, 10:09:22 pm »

read the letter open and loot the chest and bring the corpse back as your new bestfriend.
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Long Live Arst- United Forenia!
"Wanna be a better liberal? Go get shot in the fuckin' face."
Contemplate why we have a sociopathic necrophiliac RAPIST sadomasochist bipolar monster in our ranks, also find some cheese.

Jacos

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Re: Adventures of a Slightly Insane Bisexual Crossdresser
« Reply #226 on: October 02, 2011, 07:26:04 am »

First, you decide to read the letter. Up close, you notice blood stains.

Dear Garvon,

I have placed the treasure in the chest, and swallowed the key. Unfortunately, they have found me such sooner than I had expected.
They are already coming. After forcing the ship into these shallows, they began to devour the crew. I have locked the door, but who knows how long until they pick the lock - that is, if they know how. Those long, clawed fingers have to be good for something other than decimating people. I don't know long the treasure will last. It's gone into hibernation, but when you rescue it, it will probably be fairly starved - you might have to abduct a few meals for it.
Having swalloed the key, you'll probably have to look for it in my remains. Sorry.

Captain Airon.


Days until expedition: 9

Spoiler: Stats (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Skills (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)
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Dwarven Science: We do what we must, because, we're bored.

Every few miles, [the dwarves] stop the cart.  One of the dwarfs (sic) gets off, digs a hole down below the dirt layers, licks the bedrock, and then they know exactly where they are.  It's called GPS: Geological Piquancy Sampling.

Jacos

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Re: Adventures of a Slightly Insane Bisexual Crossdresser
« Reply #227 on: October 02, 2011, 02:09:13 pm »

You cast 'Thread Ressurection'.

What now?
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Dwarven Science: We do what we must, because, we're bored.

Every few miles, [the dwarves] stop the cart.  One of the dwarfs (sic) gets off, digs a hole down below the dirt layers, licks the bedrock, and then they know exactly where they are.  It's called GPS: Geological Piquancy Sampling.

LordSlowpoke

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Re: Adventures of a Slightly Insane Bisexual Crossdresser
« Reply #228 on: October 02, 2011, 02:11:27 pm »

Fondly regard seven hours without post.

Barring that, dig into remains. Like a professional.
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Tersr

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Re: Adventures of a Slightly Insane Bisexual Crossdresser
« Reply #229 on: October 02, 2011, 03:16:45 pm »

Throw thw skull first!
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Shooting something made of a semi hard metal with no organs is a fucking stupid idea anyway.

Ottofar

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Re: Adventures of a Slightly Insane Bisexual Crossdresser
« Reply #230 on: October 02, 2011, 04:27:48 pm »

>Kick the chest.

Monkeyfacedprickleback

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Re: Adventures of a Slightly Insane Bisexual Crossdresser
« Reply #231 on: October 03, 2011, 01:51:02 am »

rip open ribcage while singing "the song never ends". NEVER STOP SINGING THAT SONG
« Last Edit: October 03, 2011, 04:40:32 am by Monkeyfacedprickleback »
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Hubris Incalculable

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Re: Adventures of a Slightly Insane Bisexual Crossdresser
« Reply #232 on: October 03, 2011, 01:44:56 pm »

>Kick the chest.


while chest.open = no:
    >k
    :In what direction? _
    >8
    :THUD!
:You break open the lock!
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Tersr

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Re: Adventures of a Slightly Insane Bisexual Crossdresser
« Reply #233 on: October 03, 2011, 02:07:23 pm »

>Kick the chest.


while chest.open = no:
    >k
    :In what direction? _
    >8
    :THUD!
:You break open the lock!
Nethack?
Logged
Shooting something made of a semi hard metal with no organs is a fucking stupid idea anyway.

Jacos

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Re: Adventures of a Slightly Insane Bisexual Crossdresser
« Reply #234 on: October 03, 2011, 02:37:08 pm »

You attempt to bash open the chest, but fail. You slowly break apart the skeleton, wincing at every SNAP and CRACK, and eventually find the key. You slowly take it, and advance towards the chest...

Do you dare open it?

Days until expedition: 9

Spoiler: Stats (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Skills (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)
Logged
Dwarven Science: We do what we must, because, we're bored.

Every few miles, [the dwarves] stop the cart.  One of the dwarfs (sic) gets off, digs a hole down below the dirt layers, licks the bedrock, and then they know exactly where they are.  It's called GPS: Geological Piquancy Sampling.

Tersr

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Re: Adventures of a Slightly Insane Bisexual Crossdresser
« Reply #235 on: October 03, 2011, 02:40:50 pm »

Open the chest.
Logged
Shooting something made of a semi hard metal with no organs is a fucking stupid idea anyway.

ashton1993

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Wow, that's actually really friggin' awesome looking.
That is brilliant.
That is hilarious, Ashton. I love it.
OMG yes!!!  Thank you!!!

Totally not a narcissist.

K17U

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Re: Adventures of a Slightly Insane Bisexual Crossdresser
« Reply #237 on: October 03, 2011, 02:50:22 pm »

Swallow the Key.
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ashton1993

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Re: Adventures of a Slightly Insane Bisexual Crossdresser
« Reply #238 on: October 03, 2011, 03:40:52 pm »

Swallow the Key.
After opening the chest
Logged
Wow, that's actually really friggin' awesome looking.
That is brilliant.
That is hilarious, Ashton. I love it.
OMG yes!!!  Thank you!!!

Totally not a narcissist.

Monkeyfacedprickleback

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  • Sweet flaming monkey fire WHY are they doing that?
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