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Author Topic: Are dwarves superpowered?  (Read 8089 times)

Necro910

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Re: Are dwarves superpowered?
« Reply #30 on: September 22, 2011, 08:54:48 pm »

We can never let this information get out. Could you imagine if this precious knowledge got out to the other races?

Elf1: Sir! i have the report from our last attack on the dwarves!

Elf2: Ah, good. Have we wiped them out this time?

Elf1: No, sir. everyone is dead....However, we did discover something strange.

Elf2: Well, what is it...?

Elf1: While examining the mutilated corpse of one of our kin, our scout noticed that he seemed to be clutching what appears to be some rough strands of hair. I had him bring them back.

Elf2: Alright, let me see them i suppose....*the elf examines the hairs closely for a moment*

Elf2: My...god.....it's the beards....

Elf1:what was that, sir?

Elf2: IT'S THE BEEAARRDSS!!!

Elf2:*Runs to the highest tree in the forest* IT'S THE BEEEEEAAAARRRDSS!!!!!!!!

Elf2: Ready the troops! Tonight, we siege!! Not against their fortress....But against. their. CHINS.
Oh snap.

Too bad the dwarves still have the Necro910 Effect.

Oliolli

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Re: Are dwarves superpowered?
« Reply #31 on: September 23, 2011, 12:18:52 am »

When was "Necro910 Effect" first used as a term? I remember using "Necro910 method" shortly before I began seeing "Effect" everywhere...

Also, the beard strands require booze to think. The dwarves themselves don't.
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Boost One

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Re: Are dwarves superpowered?
« Reply #32 on: September 23, 2011, 04:18:33 am »

The 'Necro910 effect' would be the direct result of the usage of the 'Necro910 method' in fortress defence.
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elf-fondling human

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Re: Are dwarves superpowered?
« Reply #33 on: September 23, 2011, 06:14:41 am »

Technically speaking, the dwarven beard is probably a lesser form of Armok's beard, that is, the candy-like spires that rise out of the red sea.
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NightlinerSGS

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Re: Are dwarves superpowered?
« Reply #34 on: September 23, 2011, 08:28:28 am »

Technically speaking, the dwarven beard is probably a lesser form of Armok's beard, that is, the candy-like spires that rise out of the red sea.

I always assumed the beards are actually made from candy, that would also explain why you get strands when you process it and not the usual bars.
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Gizogin

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Re: Are dwarves superpowered?
« Reply #35 on: September 23, 2011, 08:39:49 am »

But that would make candy wafers into some kind of... beard dandruff?
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wrajjt

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Re: Are dwarves superpowered?
« Reply #36 on: September 23, 2011, 08:41:35 am »

Dwarves are kind of like Orks in this aspect. Aslong as they collectively belive something hard enough, it becomes reality.
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acetech09

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Re: Are dwarves superpowered?
« Reply #37 on: September 23, 2011, 08:42:46 am »

I always assumed the beards are actually made from candy, that would also explain why you get strands when you process it and not the usual bars.

That would explain why you never get beards sailing off in an arc.
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Oliolli

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Re: Are dwarves superpowered?
« Reply #38 on: September 23, 2011, 09:15:23 am »

I always assumed the beards are actually made from candy, that would also explain why you get strands when you process it and not the usual bars.

That would explain why you never get beards sailing off in an arc.

No, the reason beards never sail off in an arc is that it would be excessively cruel, even on DF standards.
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Xen0n

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Re: Are dwarves superpowered?
« Reply #39 on: September 23, 2011, 11:12:46 am »

Their "beards" are simply attached to the tops of their heads, mixed in with the regular hair, rather than on the face/chin.

"Beards? 
   On my female dwarves?
 
      It's more likely than you think."

Spoiler: FREE BEARD CHECK! (click to show/hide)
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Necro910

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Re: Are dwarves superpowered?
« Reply #40 on: September 23, 2011, 11:19:17 am »

Technically speaking, the dwarven beard is probably a lesser form of Armok's beard, that is, the candy-like spires that rise out of the red sea.
IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW.

The clowns are the guardians of Armoks chin, and Armok has slade for skin! Then the candy and magma is his beard, and the rest of the world is the alcohol and other mineral buildup that occurs when having a dwarven beard for many trillions of years! When a world is deleted destroyed, he is merely taking a magma bath  :P

Crustypeanut

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Re: Are dwarves superpowered?
« Reply #41 on: September 23, 2011, 12:29:19 pm »

Dwarves are kind of like Orks in this aspect. Aslong as they collectively belive something hard enough, it becomes reality.

Almost.  The BEARDS are kind of like Orks in this aspect.  Though, the collective entity known as a 'dwarf' does breed very similar to Orks.
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elf-fondling human

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Re: Are dwarves superpowered?
« Reply #42 on: September 23, 2011, 02:17:33 pm »

Technically speaking, the dwarven beard is probably a lesser form of Armok's beard, that is, the candy-like spires that rise out of the red sea.
IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW.

The clowns are the guardians of Armoks chin, and Armok has slade for skin! Then the candy and magma is his beard, and the rest of the world is the alcohol and other mineral buildup that occurs when having a dwarven beard for many trillions of years! When a world is deleted destroyed, he is merely taking a magma bath  :P

More specifically, I think the magma is Armok's sweat. It gets pretty warm down there, near the center of the Earth.
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Necro910

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Re: Are dwarves superpowered?
« Reply #43 on: September 23, 2011, 02:22:24 pm »

Technically speaking, the dwarven beard is probably a lesser form of Armok's beard, that is, the candy-like spires that rise out of the red sea.
IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW.

The clowns are the guardians of Armoks chin, and Armok has slade for skin! Then the candy and magma is his beard, and the rest of the world is the alcohol and other mineral buildup that occurs when having a dwarven beard for many trillions of years! When a world is deleted destroyed, he is merely taking a magma bath  :P

More specifically, I think the magma is Armok's sweat. It gets pretty warm down there, near the center of the Earth.
But there is no center! Recall that all worlds are flat and have boundaries, and nothing can go past that mark.

But the magma thing makes sense. Perhaps it's hot in space this time of year?  :P

elf-fondling human

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Re: Are dwarves superpowered?
« Reply #44 on: September 23, 2011, 02:49:39 pm »

Oh yes, how could I have forgotten such a thing?
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