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[Xen0n]

Beards are superpowered? The Amish must have been on to something...

The Amish are always up to something...

Just like those shiftless Mennonites...

[BigD145]

No, everything else is underpowered you weaklings.

[acetech09]

I've always thought that dwarven beards were strands of weaved carbon nanotubes, coated in a layer of a light non-newtonian fluid with the viscosity of clay.


If one wants to engrave a wall, they mold their beard into a chisel. If one wants to fish, they can mold a hook on the end of a single long coiled beard hair.

[Necro910]

If one wants to fish, they can mold a hook on the end of a single long coiled beard hair.

I believe molding their beard into a beard with many thousands of hooks would be more dorfy.

[Xen0n]

I've always thought that dwarven beards were strands of weaved carbon nanotubes, coated in a layer of a light non-newtonian fluid with the viscosity of clay.


If one wants to engrave a wall, they mold their beard into a chisel. If one wants to fish, they can mold a hook on the end of a single long coiled beard hair.

This is very close, but not quite.  In actuality, dwarves are not singular creatures such as humans, but are colonial organisms consisting of a single humanoid body(referred to as a 'Dwarf' for simplicity's sake here), and a colony of beard strands.  Dwarves and beards have formed a symbiotic relationship over the years, to the point where neither is capable of survival without the other, similar to a Portuguese Man o' War.

Strangely enough, all of the agency and decisionmaking of the colony is not handled by the humanoid part, but by a hive mind residing in the beard.  While each individual beard strand is very small, much like cloud computing, together they are able to form complex thoughts.  Because they are each rather simple, they tend to all get aligned on the same thought at once, leading to a dwarf deciding "Getting -troll fur sock- at all costs" is the only thing worth doing right now.  The body is essentially a sack of meat used to move the beard from place to place. 

Dwarven beard strands have been observed to attempt to bond with humans, due to a similar body structure, but such symbiosis is always short lived for the human. 

[Necro910]

I've always thought that dwarven beards were strands of weaved carbon nanotubes, coated in a layer of a light non-newtonian fluid with the viscosity of clay.


If one wants to engrave a wall, they mold their beard into a chisel. If one wants to fish, they can mold a hook on the end of a single long coiled beard hair.

This is very close, but not quite.  In actuality, dwarves are not singular creatures such as humans, but are colonial organisms consisting of a single humanoid body(referred to as a 'Dwarf' for simplicity's sake here), and a colony of beard strands.  Dwarves and beards have formed a symbiotic relationship over the years, to the point where neither is capable of survival without the other, similar to a Portuguese Man o' War.

Strangely enough, all of the agency and decisionmaking of the colony is not handled by the humanoid part, but by a hive mind residing in the beard.  While each individual beard strand is very small, much like cloud computing, together they are able to form complex thoughts.  Because they are each rather simple, they tend to all get aligned on the same thought at once, leading to a dwarf deciding "Getting -troll fur sock- at all costs" is the only thing worth doing right now.  The body is essentially a sack of meat used to move the beard from place to place. 

Dwarven beard strands have been observed to attempt to bond with humans, due to a similar body structure, but such symbiosis is always short lived for the human.

According to that video, beards have begun to evolve self-movement.

DEAR ARMOK, WHAT HAVE WE DONE

[ulan]

Fishing without a rod? Use your beard as a net, or alternatively use your sharpened beard as a spear



Cutting stone/gem/ore without tools? Sink the individual follicles of your beard into the natural fracture points of the material in question and expand the follicles, causing chips to fall off


Tool-less surgery ? Beards as needles
Seeing in the dark ? Ultra sensitive nerve clusters in the chins pores, causing beards to act akin to a kittens whiskers


Anything else? Prehensile beard hair, that is all

This is also why I dont see it possible that female dwarves to lack facial beards, though, unless they use that secondary beard of theirs for all those tasks as well...

Is there anything I missed?

[Xen0n]

I've always thought that dwarven beards were strands of weaved carbon nanotubes, coated in a layer of a light non-newtonian fluid with the viscosity of clay.


If one wants to engrave a wall, they mold their beard into a chisel. If one wants to fish, they can mold a hook on the end of a single long coiled beard hair.

This is very close, but not quite.  In actuality, dwarves are not singular creatures such as humans, but are colonial organisms consisting of a single humanoid body(referred to as a 'Dwarf' for simplicity's sake here), and a colony of beard strands.  Dwarves and beards have formed a symbiotic relationship over the years, to the point where neither is capable of survival without the other, similar to a Portuguese Man o' War.

Strangely enough, all of the agency and decisionmaking of the colony is not handled by the humanoid part, but by a hive mind residing in the beard.  While each individual beard strand is very small, much like cloud computing, together they are able to form complex thoughts.  Because they are each rather simple, they tend to all get aligned on the same thought at once, leading to a dwarf deciding "Getting -troll fur sock- at all costs" is the only thing worth doing right now.  The body is essentially a sack of meat used to move the beard from place to place. 

Dwarven beard strands have been observed to attempt to bond with humans, due to a similar body structure, but such symbiosis is always short lived for the human.

According to that video, beards have begun to evolve self-movement.

DEAR ARMOK, WHAT HAVE WE DONE

Yes, in fact, "Dwarven Ghosts" are actually the remaining beard strands when the 'body' segment dies.  The strands, similar to muscle memory, assume the shape of the body they once inhabited and attempt to carry out their routines.  Due them just being thin strands in a humanoid shape, they appear gossamer and ethereal to onlookers, and objects pass through them by slipping past the strands.  This also explains why ghosts die of old age; it takes a while, but eventually the strands exhaust their nutrient supply, being unable to draw from the dead host. 

You'll note in the video that the afflicted human was not able to cope with the dwarven instinct of the beard, which caused him to shun sunlight and seek alcohol.  Eventually the human body rejected the bond, and he deconstructed his workshop as you saw, causing him to fail a mood and subsequently go stark raving mad.

[Monkeyfacedprickleback]

I've always thought that dwarven beards were strands of weaved carbon nanotubes, coated in a layer of a light non-newtonian fluid with the viscosity of clay.


If one wants to engrave a wall, they mold their beard into a chisel. If one wants to fish, they can mold a hook on the end of a single long coiled beard hair.

This is very close, but not quite.  In actuality, dwarves are not singular creatures such as humans, but are colonial organisms consisting of a single humanoid body(referred to as a 'Dwarf' for simplicity's sake here), and a colony of beard strands.  Dwarves and beards have formed a symbiotic relationship over the years, to the point where neither is capable of survival without the other, similar to a Portuguese Man o' War.

Strangely enough, all of the agency and decisionmaking of the colony is not handled by the humanoid part, but by a hive mind residing in the beard.  While each individual beard strand is very small, much like cloud computing, together they are able to form complex thoughts.  Because they are each rather simple, they tend to all get aligned on the same thought at once, leading to a dwarf deciding "Getting -troll fur sock- at all costs" is the only thing worth doing right now.  The body is essentially a sack of meat used to move the beard from place to place. 

Dwarven beard strands have been observed to attempt to bond with humans, due to a similar body structure, but such symbiosis is always short lived for the human.

what about female dorfs?

[Tevish Szat]

Their "beards" are simply attached to the tops of their heads, mixed in with the regular hair, rather than on the face/chin.

[Xotano]

incorrect Tevish, female dwarfs just have there beards set to not show in the description on how they look, they actually have more hair then the males, toady just didn't want people to be disgusted by the thought of manly bearded wemen.
same reason he didn't add genitalia

[Girlinhat]

Beard Envy.  Dwarven women has it.

[Kromgar]

I would assume dwarves have super powers.

How else would Lor Lecadlogem known as the Blind Axe Commander hacked two diametrodons in two in 5 seconds.

[ulan]

what about female dorfs?

They have a 'secondary beard'
Guess where

[King DZA]

We can never let this information get out. Could you imagine if this precious knowledge got out to the other races?

Elf1: Sir! i have the report from our last attack on the dwarves!

Elf2: Ah, good. Have we wiped them out this time?

Elf1: No, sir. everyone is dead....However, we did discover something strange.

Elf2: Well, what is it...?

Elf1: While examining the mutilated corpse of one of our kin, our scout noticed that he seemed to be clutching what appears to be some rough strands of hair. I had him bring them back.

Elf2: Alright, let me see them i suppose....*the elf examines the hairs closely for a moment*

Elf2: My...god.....it's the beards....

Elf1:what was that, sir?

Elf2: IT'S THE BEEAARRDSS!!!

Elf2:*Runs to the highest tree in the forest* IT'S THE BEEEEEAAAARRRDSS!!!!!!!!

Elf2: Ready the troops! Tonight, we siege!! Not against their fortress....But against. their. CHINS.