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Author Topic: Are dwarves superpowered?  (Read 8096 times)

Mrhappyface

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Are dwarves superpowered?
« on: September 22, 2011, 03:32:06 pm »

I've always wondered how they did it. Fishing without rods, smelting ore with their bare hands, and then forging bars into shapes. Cutting diamonds without any blades. Cutting stone and engraving with no tools. Removing organs and infected limbs with only their bare hands and then sewing it shut with their clever fingers during surgery. How do they do it?
Here's one interpretation of masonry for example.
Human
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
and then Dwarven
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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This is Dwarf Fortress. Where torture, enslavement, and murder are not only tolerable hobbies, but considered dwarfdatory.

Gizogin

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Re: Are dwarves superpowered?
« Reply #1 on: September 22, 2011, 03:34:49 pm »

The answer is right in your pictures.  Notice the main distinguishing feature of the dwarf.  It is this which grants its powers.
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Deimos56

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Re: Are dwarves superpowered?
« Reply #2 on: September 22, 2011, 03:36:04 pm »

I can't help but notice the throne the dwarf made is a bit taller than the rock was... :o
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Well that went better than expected.  He went nuts and punched a rabbit to death, then the dogs and the whole dining hall ripped him to shreds.

Xen0n

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Re: Are dwarves superpowered?
« Reply #3 on: September 22, 2011, 03:37:43 pm »

The answer is right in your pictures.  Notice the main distinguishing feature of the dwarf.  It is this which grants its powers.

Exactly. 
Are Dwarves superpowered?  Not likely, look how easily they kill themselves.

Are Beards superpowered?  ...
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Ubiq

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Re: Are dwarves superpowered?
« Reply #5 on: September 22, 2011, 03:42:33 pm »

How do they do it?

They're too stupid to realize that they can't.
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Tevish Szat

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Re: Are dwarves superpowered?
« Reply #6 on: September 22, 2011, 03:48:30 pm »

some amount of abstraction can be assumed.  Take small tools for instance: we can just assume the game can't be bothered to track things like needles, chisels, hammers smaller than a warhammer, or the like.  As far as fishing goes, well, people fish "by hand" in real life, so that's not too over the top.  In any case, all those "little things" that make tasks possible can be assumed to be part of the workshop, which is why dwarves can't just mash the stones cluttering the furniture stockpile into thrones.  Basically, all those stupid, tiny things exist, but can't be removed from the shops they're part of.

What's really going to bake your noodle later, though, is how the *workshops*, tiny tools included, are made from, generally, a lone dwarf sitting in the center with a boulder.  The answer is, as others have pointed out, beards.
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Gizogin

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Re: Are dwarves superpowered?
« Reply #7 on: September 22, 2011, 03:52:44 pm »

Actually, dwarves fish by straining the water through their beards.
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Quote from: franti
"Let's expose our military to zombie-dust so they can't feel pain. They don't NEED skin."
Quote from: Ipwnurmom221
One FB post. Many dick jokes. Pokemon. !!VOLCANO!!. Dwarven mood thingee. Derailment itself. Girlinhat's hat. Cuba. Karl Marx. This is why i love Bay12 forums.
The rest of my sig.
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Xen0n

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Re: Are dwarves superpowered?
« Reply #8 on: September 22, 2011, 03:57:11 pm »

Actually, dwarves fish by straining the water through their beards.

Much like the baleen of whales or other filter-feeders.  This is also how they avoid coming down with pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis when coal-mining. 
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Necro910

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Re: Are dwarves superpowered?
« Reply #9 on: September 22, 2011, 04:01:54 pm »

Actually, dwarves fish by straining the water through their beards.

Much like the baleen of whales or other filter-feeders.  This is also how they avoid coming down with pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis when coal-mining.
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Xen0n

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Re: Are dwarves superpowered?
« Reply #10 on: September 22, 2011, 04:05:23 pm »

Actually, dwarves fish by straining the water through their beards.

Much like the baleen of whales or other filter-feeders.  This is also how they avoid coming down with pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis when coal-mining.
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Necro910

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Re: Are dwarves superpowered?
« Reply #11 on: September 22, 2011, 04:07:04 pm »

Actually, dwarves fish by straining the water through their beards.

Much like the baleen of whales or other filter-feeders.  This is also how they avoid coming down with pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis when coal-mining.
I love Bay12.

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Mrhappyface

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Re: Are dwarves superpowered?
« Reply #12 on: September 22, 2011, 05:19:29 pm »

Here's another tidbit on medical care. Both patients suffered from intestinal failure after eating too many Forgotten Beast brains.
Here's the human practice.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
And here's the dwarf version.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: September 22, 2011, 05:26:17 pm by Mrhappyface »
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This is Dwarf Fortress. Where torture, enslavement, and murder are not only tolerable hobbies, but considered dwarfdatory.

Roraborialisforealis

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Re: Are dwarves superpowered?
« Reply #13 on: September 22, 2011, 05:28:29 pm »

Here's another tidbit on medical care. Both patients suffered from intestinal failure after eating too many Forgotten Beast brains.
Here's the human practice.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
And here's the dwarf version.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Thats the best
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Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Specter513

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Re: Are dwarves superpowered?
« Reply #14 on: September 22, 2011, 05:28:52 pm »

Beards are superpowered? The Amish must have been on to something...
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Leprechauns actually. That "magically delicious taste" prefstring soon lead to their total extinction.
Congratulations, you killed the only things considered dominant and have heralded the end of civilization in your world as you know it.
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