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[SalmonGod]

"We don't serve faster than light neutrinos here" says the bartender.
A neutrino walks into a bar.



Passed on to me by my dad yesterday.  Saw it getting passed around by google employees on G+ today.  Nobody knows where the joke actually came from.

[Il Palazzo]

Haha, that's great.

[MonkeyHead]

It doesnt really work though, as the bartender would still have to notice the neutrino, which is independant of how fast its moving... or more simply, he couldnt notice it until it was in the bar - just as its faster than c wouldnt make knowledge of it arrive ahead of it.

Doing the rounds amongst my circle of colleauges (all physicists) is this one:

a barman walks into a neutrino. The neutrino says "oy, you just spilled my pint!". The barman says "Oh, sorry about that mate. Hang on, wait a minute –I haven't even poured your pint yet.” The neutrino says “oh, fair enough, can I have a pint then?” The bartender says “well, ok, but you’d better not cause any trouble. I’m not liking your attitude to this transaction so far”. The neutrino says “don’t worry I won’t be any trouble” and takes his pint, but then notices it’s a little short. “ere – this pint is short. That’s a violation of the weights and measures act!” The bartender says “easy mate, its probably just some kind of systematic measurement error. Anyway, you can talk – I saw you tearing in here, and I can’t be sure but it looked like you were violating the principle of relativity by travelling faster than the speed of light.” The neutrino says “calm down mate, I didn’t want any trouble”. The bartender says “no that’s enough. Get out of my bar” and ejects the neutrino roughly, spilling his pint as he does so, at which point they both realise there’s been a violation of causality resulting from the transmission of information at superluminal speeds and they both disappear in a swirling paradoxical vortex...

[RedWarrior0]

I still maintain it was a coincidence and that the emitter never emitted anything at all and a bunch of stray neutrinos hit the exact spot they were aiming at

[Cecilff2]

I still maintain it was a coincidence and that the emitter never emitted anything at all and a bunch of stray neutrinos hit the exact spot they were aiming at

And it coincidentally happened 10000 times.

[kaijyuu]

All science as we know it is wrong. All this stuff that seems to be following patterns and being consistent? Dumb luck. Tomorrow's forecast calls for cotton candy rainclouds followed by a serious cola shower.

[RedWarrior0]

I still maintain it was a coincidence and that the emitter never emitted anything at all and a bunch of stray neutrinos hit the exact spot they were aiming at

And it coincidentally happened 10000 times.

I adjust my previous policy. Perhaps it was a conspiracy, but only to mask the true perpetrators: Aliens.

Who of course, were tampering with the laws of physics to appease their dark gods, the Science Fiction Writers.

[Heron TSG]

"We don't serve faster than light neutrinos here" says the bartender.
A neutrino walks into a bar.



Passed on to me by my dad yesterday.  Saw it getting passed around by google employees on G+ today.  Nobody knows where the joke actually came from.

The bartender says, "sorry, we don't serve Tachyons here." A tachyon walks into a bar.

It's actually based on the ancient Tachyon joke.

[Vattic]

For some reason I keep getting asked about this but I don't know enough about particle physics to really explain beyond what the press have reported. I'd guess it's because I have an armchair interest in science. I am getting irritated at an equal number of people who insist that this "proves all of science is wrong" and act as if no more science should be done because it's obviously a waste of time.

I adjust my previous policy. Perhaps it was a conspiracy, but only to mask the true perpetrators: Aliens.

Or maybe God has finally got fed up with us stepping on his turf.

[Starver]

I still maintain it was a coincidence and that the emitter never emitted anything at all and a bunch of stray neutrinos hit the exact spot they were aiming at

And it coincidentally happened 10000 times.

And what if it's like the coin toss in Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Are Dead?  Not that I'm offering that as proof (far from it), I just like that movie[1].  (Some of it helps if you've experienced Hamlet, but... I digress.  Tennis anyone?)


[1] Having only seen the 90s cinematic version, never the play version, lest someone pipe up.

[forsaken1111]

I still maintain it was a coincidence and that the emitter never emitted anything at all and a bunch of stray neutrinos hit the exact spot they were aiming at

And it coincidentally happened 10000 times.

I adjust my previous policy. Perhaps it was a conspiracy, but only to mask the true perpetrators: Aliens.

Who of course, were tampering with the laws of physics to appease their dark gods, the Science Fiction Writers.

Clearly it was some backwater tinkerer who created a neutrino emitter from gum and spare parts and aimed it at the detector to foil the experiment and thus prove god.

[PTTG??]

In a cave, actually.

And all he had was a box of scraps.

[forsaken1111]

Stupid arc reactor giving off FTL neutrinos...

[Ultimuh]

In a cave, actually.

And all he had was a box of scraps.

And Duct-Tape, don't forget the multi-use material that is Duct-Tape.

[forsaken1111]

does duct tape count as a metamaterial yet?