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[Osmosis Jones]

Gnomes

[MaximumZero]

The gnomes and goblins are in cahoots to make us old and keep us down? Welp...time for a healthy dose of cleansing magma.

[Osmosis Jones]

It also explains why the rum is always gone; the gravity gnomes obviously have [CURIOUSBEAST_GUZZLER]!

[MaximumZero]

No, that's actually my fault. Sorry.

[Siquo]

You can affect gravity with alcohol, did you know? I'm still trying to find some kind of way to make it point upwards instead of just spinning around, and eventually we'll get there. And now, off to the bar lab! FOR SCIENCE! 

[Leafsnail]

So, has anyone heard that they currently think they've found the Higgs' boson?

Results in particle physics are ranked on a scale from one to five "sigma".

One and two sigma results mean very little. A three sigma result counts as an "observation", while a five sigma result is enough to claim a formal discovery. There is less than a one in a million chance of a five sigma result being a statistical fluke.

"If the two detectors have essentially coincident effects of 2.5 to three sigma, there is no doubt of the discovery," said Gordon Kane, director of the Michigan Centre for Theoretical Physics.

So uh... "Yeah, probably" is their current verdict, and they'll be making an official announcement on Tuesday.

[Euld]

Lisa Randall, a physicist at Harvard University, told the Guardian: "It is difficult to think of alternatives that are consistent theoretically – and with everything observed to date – that don't involve the Higgs mechanism.

"I think the most likely answer is a conventional, light Higgs boson. When asked what I thought the odds were in a popular lecture, I surprised myself by saying 70%. I've even bet chocolate based on those odds."

XD

[MonkeyHead]

A few months back I actually asked Prof. Lyndon Evans (Head of CERN research... bit of a meeting your god moment TBH) about if and when they would find Higgs evidence, and he said that from what he had seen so far a light Higgs was there to be found within the year - he showed evidence of alight higgs to about a 3 sigma level, and explained how both detectors were narrowing in and refining thier measurements. Cant wait for the announcement next week.

[Virex]

Wait, isn't probably particle physicist lingo for the chance is bigger than 99%? I seem to recall that possibly is 95%, probably is 99% and definitely is 99.9999% or something.

[MonkeyHead]

Pretty much.

[MaximumZero]

"If the two detectors have essentially coincident effects of 2.5 to three sigma, there is no doubt of the discovery," said Gordon Kane, director of the Michigan Centre for Theoretical Physics.

Gordon Kane, director of the Michigan Centre for Theoretical Physics.

Michigan Centre for Theoretical Physics.

That's the biggest WTF moment for me in this whole thing thus far.

[Heron TSG]

IIRC, about 25 physicists from the University of Michigan are employed at CERN. (I did a paper on it a while ago.)

[MaximumZero]

Being a native of the state, you'd think that I would have at least heard that we have a theoretical physics lab in the area. Huh.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Perhaps the lab is also theoretical.

[Powder Miner]

Everything is theoretical. You're theoretical. I'm theoretical. It's all in some labcoats' head hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha