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[Varnifane]

...I have started adding "!!...!!" to names of urgent files at work.

[Urist Imiknorris]

You set them on fire?

[Varnifane]

No. But that's not a bad idea.

How do I set up a pump stack to bring the magma to my cubicle? And where would I get enough power?

But I have no pick.  So I can't even start... 

[MonkeyHead]

Mandate a slade pick from your underlings. Magma will arrive.

[Xen0n]

...I have started adding "!!...!!" to names of urgent files at work.

I disagree.  You need to play more, until you stop using double '!'s and use the Alt+19 '‼'


Although the [ALCOHOL_DEPENDENT] may not go over too well with your boss...
Just be careful if he transfers you to a new magma-safe section of the office with a computer terminal that is designated for your use only. 

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Press the keyboard!

[Valdrax]

But I have no pick.  So I can't even start... 

Wait for all your clothes to wear out, strip naked, and then trade them for a pick.
Alternately, kill your cubicle neighbors, strip them naked, and trade their clothes.

Or you could drop by Home Depot, but in your heart, you know which way is dwarfier.

[Varnifane]

I disagree.  You need to play more, until you stop using double '!'s and use the Alt+19 '‼'

You have taught. I have learned. You sir, have made my entire week.

[Xen0n]

But I have no pick.  So I can't even start... 

Wait for all your clothes to wear out, strip naked, and then trade them for a pick.
Alternately, kill your cubicle neighbors, strip them naked, and trade their clothes.

Or you could drop by Home Depot, but in your heart, you know which way is dwarfier.

When you get to the Home Depot, SEIZE the goods instead of paying for them, then deconstruct the Depot so all the staff eventually go insane from inability to path to a valid Depot.  You can harvest new metal off of future seiges of Home Depot employees when their civilisation goes to war with you. 

Now you are thinking like a dwarf.

I disagree.  You need to play more, until you stop using double '!'s and use the Alt+19 '‼'

You have taught. I have learned. You sir, have made my entire week.

I confess to still having a Novice rank in Student myself, I cribbed that from this post.  Remember, with ≡POWER≡ comes ≡RESPONSIBILITY≡.

[Girlinhat]

Bah, you don't want a Home Depot pick.  You want a REAL pick!  Something made of trifle pewter, and some hanging rings...  bone, yeah.  Hanging rings of bone!  Oh and some of those, those um...  shining bars.  Thread... yes...

You go down to the hardware store.  Not that Home Depot merchant.  No, go down to the store with the anvil and that old farmer sitting there repairing hatchets!  Then you elbow him in the face and shove that old guy out!  You've got a motherfuckin' pick to make, dammit!  Who cares if your boss is upset that you suddenly left work?  Not you!  You've got an idea, and it's the BEST IDEA EVER!

[Varnifane]

Bah, you don't want a Home Depot pick.  You want a REAL pick!  Something made of trifle pewter, and some hanging rings...  bone, yeah.  Hanging rings of bone!  Oh and some of those, those um...  shining bars.  Thread... yes...

Who cares if your boss is upset that you suddenly left work?

Now if only I knew where to get some bones...

[Xen0n]

Bah, you don't want a Home Depot pick.  You want a REAL pick!  Something made of trifle pewter, and some hanging rings...  bone, yeah.  Hanging rings of bone!  Oh and some of those, those um...  shining bars.  Thread... yes...

You go down to the hardware store.  Not that Home Depot merchant.  No, go down to the store with the anvil and that old farmer sitting there repairing hatchets!  Then you elbow him in the face and shove that old guy out!  You've got a motherfuckin' pick to make, dammit!  Who cares if your boss is upset that you suddenly left work?  Not you!  You've got an idea, and it's the BEST IDEA EVER!

Yes, this is best thing to do.

Also, on a completely unrelated note, you should stop by your local animal shelter on the way over, and adopt a few of the biggest, most aggressive dogs they have and take 'em with you.  To.. help intimidate that old farmer.  Plus, just in case you can't find everything for your awesome pick, at least you'll have some super friendly dogs to keep you company, and cheer you up, right?  Yes.

[elf-fondling human]

I'm happy. I've ‼learned‼ something today.

[MonkeyHead]

Bah, you don't want a Home Depot pick.  You want a REAL pick!  Something made of trifle pewter, and some hanging rings...  bone, yeah.  Hanging rings of bone!  Oh and some of those, those um...  shining bars.  Thread... yes...

You go down to the hardware store.  Not that Home Depot merchant.  No, go down to the store with the anvil and that old farmer sitting there repairing hatchets!  Then you elbow him in the face and shove that old guy out!  You've got a motherfuckin' pick to make, dammit!  Who cares if your boss is upset that you suddenly left work?  Not you!  You've got an idea, and it's the BEST IDEA EVER!

Yes, this is best thing to do.

Also, on a completely unrelated note, you should stop by your local animal shelter on the way over, and adopt a few of the biggest, most aggressive dogs they have and take 'em with you.  To.. help intimidate that old farmer.  Plus, just in case you can't find everything for your awesome pick, at least you'll have some super friendly dogs to keep you company, and cheer you up, right?  Yes.

Most animal shelters are an inefficient use of space. While there you might as well put all the animals into one cage and melt the others down to turn into spikes.

[Xen0n]

Spoiler: Quote (click to show/hide)

Bah, you don't want a Home Depot pick.  You want a REAL pick!  Something made of trifle pewter, and some hanging rings...  bone, yeah.  Hanging rings of bone!  Oh and some of those, those um...  shining bars.  Thread... yes...

You go down to the hardware store.  Not that Home Depot merchant.  No, go down to the store with the anvil and that old farmer sitting there repairing hatchets!  Then you elbow him in the face and shove that old guy out!  You've got a motherfuckin' pick to make, dammit!  Who cares if your boss is upset that you suddenly left work?  Not you!  You've got an idea, and it's the BEST IDEA EVER!

Yes, this is best thing to do.

Also, on a completely unrelated note, you should stop by your local animal shelter on the way over, and adopt a few of the biggest, most aggressive dogs they have and take 'em with you.  To.. help intimidate that old farmer.  Plus, just in case you can't find everything for your awesome pick, at least you'll have some super friendly dogs to keep you company, and cheer you up, right?  Yes.

Most animal shelters are an inefficient use of space. While there you might as well put all the animals into one cage and melt the others down to turn into spikes.

Fun Fact:  I initially read this suggestion as advocating melting down the extra animals at the shelter to make spikes from their bodies.  If that interpretation is wrong, then I don't want to be right. 

[flieroflight]

Most animal shelters are an inefficient use of space. While there you might as well put all the animals into one cage and melt the others down to turn into spikes.
Fun Fact:  I initially read this suggestion as advocating melting down the extra animals at the shelter to make spikes from their bodies.  If that interpretation is wrong, then I don't want to be right.

sigsticles claimed