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[Kadzar]

Use Ziquod, The Roaring of Shattered to intimidate the dirtamancer into becoming our thrall. Together, we shall work to form a powerful empire the likes of which this plane has never seen!

[Doret]

Ride Ziquod.

[Projeck37]

Attempt to make Ziquod bigger, then ride him.

[micelus]

Hollow out a cockpit in Ziqod's torso. Then ride him and kill the dirtamancer.

[Aklyon]

Ye chisel out a cockpit to sit in, but before ye can do anything are dragged into the Plane of Pirates. ye do be finding a rock nearby floatin' about, and form it into a piratical hat before anyone sees ye.

Spoiler: Ye (click to show/hide)

Be Dirt McScat, yar.
Ye aren't a Dirtamancer, but ye still be a'sparklin.
Ye look like the poop deck, matey. Clean yeself up.

Ye sparkly abilities: Make ye a Crap Golem, Make ye a Rock Golem, Mess with the landlubbers ship, Lady Luck's Suggestion (intrinsic).
Other:
+2 Digger of Landlubberly Fortitude
Rock Golem Ziquod, The Roaring of Shattered, a T-Rex with serrated edge teeth and an engraving of hobbit punting.

Past Lives:
Shortie Punter. You occasionally have the urge to kick the shortest person nearby.
RNG's Plaything. You distrust luck entirely, but can ask the RNG for help anytime.

[Roboboy33]

Look for pirates

[Aklyon]

Yar, ye found a pirate.

[micelus]

Mount Ziqod and go up and rob the pirate of all his possessions. If he resists, summon up crap golems.

[Kadzar]

Sail t' seven seas in your Tyrannosaurus rock golem in complete defiance o' t' laws o' buoyancy in search o' booty and wenches, launchin' crap golems at all who defy you.

[Furtuka]

Morph Ziqod in't a Kronosaurus and do what'ver da o'ther guy's told ye to do.


...I fail at talking like a pirate

[Aklyon]

Sail t' seven seas in your Tyrannosaurus rock golem in complete defiance o' t' laws o' buoyancy in search o' booty and wenches, launchin' crap golems at all who defy you.

Ye do this, causing many a poop deck ta be discleaned, many a wench ta be woo'd, and much booty taken! Ye event'lly find yourself an island, and count ye booty.

Spoiler: Ye (click to show/hide)

Be Dirt McScat, yar.
Ye aren't a Dirtamancer, but ye still be a'sparklin.
Ye look like the poop deck, matey. Clean yeself up.

Ye sparkly abilities: Make ye a Crap Golem, Make ye a Rock Golem, Mess with the landlubbers ship, Lady Luck's Suggestion (intrinsic).
Other:
+2 Digger of Landlubberly Fortitude
Rock Golem Ziquod, The Roaring of Shattered, a T-Rex with serrated edge teeth and an engraving of hobbit punting. Has a cockpit.
Much Booty, including at least 174 gold doublooms and several wenches.

Past Lives:
Shortie Punter. You occasionally have the urge to kick the shortest person nearby.
RNG's Plaything. You distrust luck entirely, but can ask the RNG for help anytime.

[Kadzar]

...I fail at talking like a pirate

Use this.

[Furtuka]

Thanks!

Clean yourself up now t' make t' wenches stop complainin' about it

[Aklyon]

...I fail at talking like a pirate

Use this.

No, use this!
Then translate this page into Pirate. its ridiculously silly.