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[ashton1993]

Hmm... I used to be very intrinsic but as soon as about half a dozen members of my family decided to commit suicide within two years of each other (Don't ask, it's a rather ridiculous and nonsensical story) I basically swapped my personality from being curious, intrinsic and academic too extrinsic, artistic and motivated by the need to maintain a high ego, it was kinda like a switch flipping other the period of two years and whilst I'm a bit more of a dick now I feel generally happier and am more respected

[Ehndras]

My problem is that I stopped being an elitist dick and now I'm a damn pushover. I have no ambition anymore and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing with my life. I'm torn between telling my ex of 4 years to go fuck herself out of sheer frustration, or crawling after her because I know I'm the one who utterly fucked everything up. I went from owning my own 15-year old business to being unemployed because I'm so god damn miserably in need of change in my life, and I also joined the Air Force just to get the fuck out of my home state and move on with my life. Since the AF is taking fuckall long to deploy my ass, I'm barely surviving on change from working here and there, and I live with my ex which is quite honestly the most horrendously painful experience I've ever been subject to,

I can honestly say I'm a pathetic pile of human waste and I seriously have no fucking clue how I ever came to this point. Gods, how I've changed in the last decade.

[Ehndras]

Bah.


Why the hell am I even saying any of this. No reason why I should be telling intimate personal secrets to random strangers on the internet. I do so get carried away sometimes.



DAMN YOU, INTERNET ANONYMITY!

[ashton1993]

Well if your signed up to the military I don't know if it's anything like the military here but wait about 6 months and then they'll take you and train you hard enough you forget about all that (seriously every one of my friends that joined the army grew a foot between them leaving and visiting home for the first time)

After doing your compulsory four years you can drop out and feel re-vitalized or just keep going with it. Six months isn't too long to wait, the chance of you deciding to commit suicide between then and now seems remarkably low and if you can get over that hurdle of a decision your sorted 

[Ehndras]

I know Most of my family is military, I'm well-versed on how it all works.

Well, for me its 6 years. I'm in for Cryptolinguistics, arguably the most difficult profession in the Air Force. Yeah, I'm a masochist for challenges. >.< Only way I can get past my terribly low self-esteem.

I'm actually *extremely* ambitions, menacing with spikes of hope. My issue is and has been, since my father became sick, my self-esteem. Or more accurately my lack of self-esteem. Its been a decade and change and I still haven't gotten over it.

[ashton1993]

Eh, the younger one is the more impressionable you are, try learning a first language over the age of 20, so going an that basis I 'spose it's understandable even if irrational, also you being masochistic in the sense you like to challenge yourself doesn't surprise me in the slightest, I think most intelligent people share that trait.

I remember when I did my math GCSE's a couple years early we all went to this mathematics institute where they were doing this code-breakers thing which lasted 6 weeks and happened on weekends along the same lines (slightly simplified they taught how it all works then gave us intercepted codes we had to dechiper, started with ceaer shift, then letter substitution, then that thing where you have wheels that swap letters and it went up to 3 of those, bit fuzzy now but could probably do it with some reminding), funny I did well at maths and science initially bearing in mind in college I skipped 80% of the classes for them so I could study and work on my photography projects more.

[Ehndras]

Eh, the younger one is the more impressionable you are, try learning a first language over the age of 20, so going an that basis I 'spose it's understandable even if irrational, also you being masochistic in the sense you like to challenge yourself doesn't surprise me in the slightest, I think most intelligent people share that trait, I remember when I did my math GCSE's a couple years early we all went to this mathematics institute where they were doing this code-breakers thing which lasted 6 weeks and happened on weekends along the same lines (at the time I was the only one who could understand what they were going on about but I've forgotten it now, would probably come back with a few reminders), funny I did well at maths and science initially bearing in mind in college I skipped 80% of the classes for them so I could study and work on my photography projects more.

Heh, I did the same with my writing and pixel art. I remember sleeping 80% of the time and making pixel art on my laptop for the other 20% during classes, and yet I had the highest grades in all my classes. Also, I am fluent in 3 languages and have studied 5-6 others, so I'm not exactly inexperienced in the language department. When my commanding officer found out, he pestered me for three months straight to consider changing Intelligence & Logistics to Crypto... I thought it over for a month or so and pretty much said "Fuck it, why not."


--- --- ---

For example, I somehow passed two years of Spanish while sleeping, listening to music and working on this:

Spoiler: This thing is huge, so you'll need to hit F11 and maximize your screen to be able to view it. It might be blurry, that just means you need to click it to fully zoom in and then it'll be clear (click to show/hide)

 

Yeah. That was done in Microsoft Paint, like the space station I'm working on right now. I haven't touched it in years, just did the counter-beams, 4 of which you can see in the upper left where I'm working on a way to finish it and make it look good.

[PyroDesu]

That thing is currently short-circuiting my brain.

I would not have the attention span to do that. Not even over two boring years.

But it's just so... beautiful, in its complex simplicity.

[Ehndras]

That thing is currently short-circuiting my brain.

I would not have the attention span to do that. Not even over two boring years.

But it's just so... beautiful, in its complex simplicity.

Thak you I find it beautiful as well. I think of it as a ceremonial tapestry woven by my subconscious mind. This was my way of dealing with my extreme anxiety problems, the product of obsessive-compulsive disorder at its best and worst.

And yes, everything in that image is perfectly-designed to be exactly 1 pixel of space between lines in individual designs, mathematically designed for utter symmetry, each measurement and each pixel done by hand and then re-counted for precision.

There's only two mistakes I've found in the entire thing; one being an iffy damn 3-pixel by 1-pixel line that I haven't gotten around to changing since I modified the original design, and the other is a bit more complex.

"Chaotic Symmetry; For When You Really Have Nothing Better To Do With Your Time"

[Aklyon]

You should make that important here somewhere. its too damn awesome not to be.

[Ehndras]

Like, what? Have it be a map of something? Or just a random art add-on stuck somewhere? Perhaps intricately carved into an artifact or weaved into an ancient tapestry... Oh gods, weaving that thing would be a BITCH.

Here's another one I started a year ago, haven't touched this one in a while either. Its a clash between European and Middle Eastern architectural features while the design is inspired by Cuneiform.

The first one was called Chaotic Symmetry, this one is called Singularity Complex.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

 

[Ehndras]

In case any of the old players are interested, I've spent the last year with a group of B12 and other gamer friends putting all of my Scifi and Fantasy lore together into a cohesive multiverse so I can relaunch these RPs as promised. I'm looking for folks who either wish to RP with us or would enjoy discussing Fantasy & Scifi concepts and/or joining in on our B12 Civilization V, Sword of the Stars, and Crusader Kings II games we host :p Cheers folks! <3

[Ehndras]

Fuck yeah - RoH II relaunched! Completely rebuilt from the ground-up too! Still accepting new players

http://roleplayerguild.com/showthread.php?192772-Hyperion-Unlimited-OOC

[Tidal]

You know I'm always up for some Civ V. Found out someone at works plays it too, so I can bring them into the fray.

[Ehndras]

Awesome, we've had regular Civ V, Crusader Kings II and Space Empires V games for some time now.