I am one of the active coders for /tg/station 13. I can say we're just as active, if not more, as Goonstation (the only thing between us and them in activity is you can't see their updates in real-time like you can with tgstation). I'd recommend tgstation to someone who wants casual roleplay. Most people on the server enjoy and appreciate good roleplaying, because they come from /tg/, aka traditional games (DnD, 40k, etc). You just have to put up with the occasional griefing, chaos, what-the-fuck-just-happened moments, etc.
There's a bunch of people in the community that are just complete jerkwads, like any server. However, the administration staff is the most decent, albeit slightly dramatic, group of people I've seen on any SS13 server. All in all, it just depends on what kind of gameplay experience you want:
Goonstation - If you like action, guns, insanely chaotic rounds, silly joke things like poop and piss, etc. you will love this server!
/tg/station (not including the other servers that use the tg code) - Between goonstation and baystation in terms of RP. Not too much, not too little. The occasional round will be a massive clusterfuck.
Baystation - sadly, very empty usually. From what I gather, they've got a tight-knit community going for them. Heavy, strict roleplay and realistic game mechanics. If you open an airlock without first depressurizing the room, or break a window, you WILL either slam into a wall and break all your bones or fly into space in a second.