Tuesday: 0904 hours. Invent: Combine the science equipment, to create a cold thrower
Hiding in your corner of the office, you combine a bunch of the science equipment to make some kind of cold thrower [4]. Just as you finish strapping it together with some insulation tape you realise what it's probably meant to be: a cold thrower! Like a flamethrower! But cold! Awesome.
Item Acquired: Cold thrower
POWDER WOODCUTTER FEELS THE BERSERK RAGE ((Activate!)) WELLING UP IN HI, BECAUSE HE SEES THOSE DARN ELVES SO HE TAKES OUT THE HAND AXE AND DOES THE BERSERKCUTTER'S SLASH!!!!! ((Activate at whoever's nearest!)) THE ELVES SHALL FALL!!!
You feel the
BERSERK RAGE building up painfully within you [1] and decide to activate
BERSERKCUTTER'S SLASH!!!!! at the security elf nearest to you. You rush at
Alex Klag on your bloody stumps; you
BERSERKCUTTER'S SLASH!!!!! his face! You slip! You chop off the arm holding your axe [1x1
BERSERK RAGE bonus]!
Wound Acquired: Chopped off right arm!
Hit points lost: 6!
"Heh, heh... Wow. That is... Pretty cool." Danny stares in awe at the massive Robosauras Rex for a moment, then prudently backs away slowly until he's in one of the other corners of the office. Then he shall start shoving desks over for use as barricades, and pile up his heavy paperweights on another desk for easy access. He plonks himself down on a comfy office chair, and if anyone's coming too near to him, he shall activate Raise(Office chair), the chair's hydraulics lifting himself to a higher vantage point from which he can pelt them with heavy paperweights.
In the meantime he'll just watch the Robosaurus in awe from his hiding spot. If this crazy Bruce Halford person happens to show up, Danny will summon another dinosaur in his direction. Or possibly a pair. Or a freaking herd of 'em. This guy's scary.
"Now, I'm guessin' this is all just another one of them weird, f***ed up hallucinations from that stuff I ate or something, but this is pretty cool. Hopefully I don't wake up too soon..."
He grins to himself from his castle and uses a few paperclips to attach the cheese graters to his belt, ready to be pulled quickly off in times of need.
You back away into the south west corner of the office just as the
old HR guy rises up from behind his sturdy desk holding a Xerox above his head. This gives you an awesome idea: let's build a fort! You rush a fort together that you reckon could probably withstand a small earthquake [6] and pile up your masterwork paperweights. As you flip the office chair's recliner a little to get comfy, you watch the huge ROBOSAURUS REX in the corner you just vacated. Oh god, is it licking its lips?
In a mental state far from stable Tracy's only reaction to the giant Robosaurus Rex is to glare at it so hard the damn thing develops emotions and freaks out from it. Then she flamethrowers it to melt the internal circuitry.
You stare really hard at the enormous ROBOSAURUS REX in just feet from your head, hoping to somehow totally freak it out. It just stares back, so you decide to flamethrower it – you don't melt its internal circuitry [4], but you certainly cause it a lot of pain! Take that, Bastarsaurus!
Damage Inflicted: 14hp!
Well, I guess teleporting away seems a logical thing to do.
You decide to retest the crap out of that damn faulty teleporter: you press a whole bunch of flashing buttons and suddenly appear [4] in the unoccupied south eastern corner of the office! Sweet!
Throw Xerox at Powder woodcutter to calm him down and turn him into bait. and finish him off with Childhood pain!
Seeing that
the gardener has totally lost it in the middle of the office, you decide to subdue him for his own good. It's the GenCorp way apparently. You launch the
Xerox at his head (I hope you didn't just mean activate as opposed to physically throw! It's too late now anyway!). It totally misses [2]! It hits the giant mech-suit of Bruce Halford! Oh shit! He looks super pissed at the scratch on his paintwork! He's coming towards you!
You just about manage to remember to
Childhood pain! Powder Woodcutter's ass: he breaks down in tears and curls up on the floor [6]! He suddenly remembers his childhood as a puny human! His Morale is shattered! Who knows if he'll be able to slash his other arm off next turn?!
... ... ... ... ... ...
RAWWWWWWWR!
The mighty robosaur, slightly singed by
Tracy's horrible flamethrower, decides to have his revenge. He lumbers over, ground trembling and overhead lights shaking with every step. Tracy just has time to wonder how such a huge creature could possibly fit in even a very very large office and suddenly it's upon her: it bites off her ear!
Damage Inflicted: 1hp!
“!!Diedeathkillburn!!”
Bruce Halford looks super pissed as he jets across the office towards
Ryan Lovechild, HR drone and
paint scratcher. His jets roar! His flamethrowers spit! Ryan mostly dodges out the way! He's got no eyebrows now though.
Damage Inflicted: 4hp!
Seeing the flaming death-monstrosity approach him in the sky,
Danny totally freaks out and tries to summon more dinobots. An entire herd [6] of uncontrollable [6] velociterminators [6] appears! They look super pissed [6]!
“Rawwwrrrrrrrrrrr!”
… … … … … …
Items: Science equipment, Cold thrower
Hit points: 25
Wounds: None
Morale: -5
Failure Rating: 17.
Abilities: Adventure Mode Travel! ,
InventLocation: NE Corner
Items: Hand axe, hacksaw, chainsaw handle
Hit points: 19
Wounds: No legs, no right arm
Morale: -10
Failure Rating: 47.
Abilities: No-Legged Dwarven Murderer Rage! ,
Pray to the Lever God! ,
BERSERKCUTTER'S SLASH!Location: Centre
Items: Half a bagel, two oversized & oversharpened cheese graters, electric pencil sharpener, bunch of masterwork hefty paperweights
Hit points: 25
Wounds: None
Morale: -5
Failure Rating: 20.
Abilities: Mighty Power! , Robot-Dinosaur summoning.
Location: SW Corner
Items: Hairspray and LighterHit points: 24
Wounds: Smashed up face, only one ear
Morale: -13
Failure Rating: 42.
Abilities: Head Smasher! , Mental Ability:
Crazy Bitch!Location: NW Corner
Items: GenCorp Science Portal Gun, Armour-plated crotch, faulty GenCorp Stealth generator, [possibly faulty teleporter, arm-mounted machine gun (possibly infinite ammo)
Hit points: 25
Wounds: None
Morale: -8
Failure Rating: 5.
Abilities: Death Glare! ,
BREAKAGE OF TEH PHYSICS!,
BRIGHT PINKLocation: Centre
Items: The Xerox of Doom! . A dozen ready-printed newsletters
Hit points: 21
Wounds: No eyebrows
Morale: 8
Failure Rating: 4.
Abilities: Schadenfreude!,
CHILDHOOD PAIN! Location: SW Corner
Items: Mech-suit, flamethrowers x 2, Eyes of Doom
Hit points: 100 (including mech-suit)
Wounds: None
Morale: 0
Failure Rating: -100.
Abilities: Daughter Summoning! Death Grip! CEO and Overlord! Submission Drone Commander!
Location: Directly above you! And in the SW corner!
Items: Huge teeth, deadly claws, stompy feet
Hit points: 86
Wounds: None
Morale: 0
Failure Rating: -100.
Abilities: Biting the Crap Out of You, Tearing the Crap Out of You, Stomping the Crap Out of You.
Location: NW Corner
Items: Sharp teeth, sharp claws
Hit points: 86
Wounds: None
Morale: 0
Failure Rating: -100.
Abilities: Biting You to Bits, Tearing You to Shreds, Some Kind of Strange Metallic-y Regeneration Shape Changing Thing I Don't Know it's Been Ages Since I Saw That But Don't You Basically Have to Melt Them in a Furnace? Any Ideas?
Location: SW Corner
Author
Topic: Roll to Work at GenCorp! Tuesday: The End: A New CEO. (Read 65170 times)