Monday: 3.17pmDo a breather, then get another amount of dry ice to the scientists.
You take a quick breather to clear your head, and then ask the dude on stores if you can get some more dry ice - they really need it man, they need to store some samples quick, it's for like a kid's liver transplant or something. Sure, he says - you can go get it from the freezer yourself. He lets you in the side door of stores and tosses you the key, pointing you in the direction of a massive walk in freezer and hands you a large empty dry ice container.
"Just fill it up from the barrel at the bag, but remember to use the proper scoop or it'll burn the skin off your hands and meld your gloves to your flesh... it's not very pretty and I don't want to see it again today... I guess it does look kind of awesome with the gloves though." You walk over to it. "And remember to prop the door open properly! We're waiting to get it repaired!" he shouts after you.
You read the complicated instructions on the inside of the door regarding how to prop it open properly, and you try to follow the instructions, using a sturdy metal bar to keep the door from closing whilst balancing on a small stool to get it at the correct height. You're obviously still a bit groggy from smacking your head a few minutes ago though; you lose your balance on the stool and tumble over backwards, hands desperately trying to cling on to the metal bar keeping the door propped open. You yank the metal bar free! As you fall backwards onto the floor landing on your ass in the freezer the door slams shut! You hear an ominous click [1]! You swear!
Morale Drop! Your ass hurts!
Morale Drop! It's a bit cold!
Morale Drop! Hey, is this freezer ventilated? Just how cold is it anyway?
Fail! Still haven't got the dry ice!
Task Assigned! Collect dry ice from stores!
Failure Rating: 11.
Morale: -8.
Dash to the chainsaw with berserk strength aND KEEEL IT ALL!
Summoning all the power of your berserk strength, you escape from the loving clutches of the weighty Elf warrior and dash to the chainsaw. As you grab it, the terrified security Elf sees and flees – you chase after him as he heads indoors, dual-wielding the chainsaw in your barbarian frenzy. With superhuman berserker speed you catch up with the warrior guard; you raise the chainsaw above your head: it strikes the ceiling! You split the ceiling from head to toe, bringing it crashing down around you and crushing the security guard with a pile of rocks! He is struck down! You escape unscathed!
Unlike the dozen colleagues who were on the floor above, and tumble through the demolished ceiling. Bruised, battered, and in some places broken, they see the ferocious blood and dust covered Powder Woodcutter with chainsaw aloft and flee! One of them calls security on his phone as he runs!
“The terrorists! The terrorists are back! He’s got a bomb!” [6].
Morale Boost! Powder Woodcutter: Dual-wielding Berserker!
Fail! Crushing a colleague to death!
Fail! Damaging Wing Grey Six 12 (GenCorp property!)
Morale Drop! Damages will be deducted from your salary!
Failure Rating: 28.
Morale: 8.
Powder Woodcutter has gone berserk.WARNING! Your failure level indicates a level of performance that is NOT ACCEPTABLE at a successful company such as GenCorp. You are NOT IMPORTANT enough to be fired by BRUCE HALFORD HIMSELF although he MAY perform a citizen’s arrest if he gets the chance and you get disarmed. He’s not stupid! Your Morale is NEGATIVELY affected by your impending unemployment.
Get to accounting! Must find Emma! Let's get out of this hellhole, sell our possessions, buy a camper, and start life on the road! We'll tour the country and be free spirits! We will be slaves to no one!
Coming to and recovering, or at least partially, from your broken leg [4], you prise open the lift and crawl out, holding on to the blind hope of a dream that came to you in your brain-shattered delirium. You could buy a camper! Live on the road! Be free spirits! Spirit
s? Why yes! You’ll go see if Emma from Accounts wants to come with you, she like totally spoke to you this morning and stuff! You could promise to nurse her through the worst of her diabetes!
You crawl through hundreds of metres of dusty sweat-stained corridor, dragging your injured leg behind you up stairs and bludgeoning your way through firedoors. Finally, you come to Accounts. You knock on the door.
“Good God, Larry? Is that you? What the hell happened to you?”
Miraculously, it’s Emma from Accounts herself who opens.
“Emma… from Accounts… I can’t do this anymore! The fascistic rule of corporative capitalism is violating our rights as part of the noble and honest working class! It is intolerable! I can’t even begin to explain… But I have to get out of here, and I want you to come with me. We could sell our possessions, buy a camper! We could start life on the road and tour the country! Free spirits! Slaves to no one! Oh Emma from Accounts, I… I think I…”
“Shhh, Larry, calm down, you’re going to… Oh. You
have fainted. Of course I’ll come with you Larry! Don’t die! I’ve always wanted to tour the country in a camper after selling all my possessions so that I could live as a free spirit! And I’ve admired your rugged and handsome cuteness from afar for too long. It’s about time I acted on my instincts for once in my until now miserable life!”
In your semiconscious state you barely understand as the beautiful Emma from Accounts kisses you passionately before, with the superhuman strength of Love and Free Spirits, hoisting you over her shoulder and running as fast as she can down the corridor you so painfully crawled along just minutes ago as the ceiling collapses behind her. She barely manages to carry you out of the building before Accounts explodes in an enormous ball of fire behind you both [6].
Morale Boost! You’re a free spirit!
Morale Boost! You’re in love!
Fail! Although you’re also semiconscious on the job!
Fail! Haven’t fixed the damn mouse yet!
Task Rejected! Fix the damn mouse! Someone else will have to do it!
Failure Rating: 27.
Morale: 15.
Warning! Your Morale is so high that you are beginning to look suspiciously happy! Or would if you were not semiconscious! Instead you just look delirious. At least you’ll never have to reset another password!
"Who the- Agh! What the hell are you doing?! Gaah!"
Danny's had enough of this madness! He will jam the wastebasket over Tracy's head (if and when she removes it from the monitor, of course) and then run like hell back to the secretary who told him... Whatever he was supposed to be doing right now. He's assuming it wasn't getting murdered by this psychopath, so...
Once he (hopefully) finds what appears to be the last sane person in the place, he will dive for cover behind her desk and stammering-ly explain his situation, with the amnesia, and the murderer chasing him, and how unwell he kinda feels... Be sure to mention it's his first day on the job, too!
[Initiative 3vs1: You win!] As Tracy, groaning, removes her head from your smashed monitor, you try to jam the wastebasket over her head [1]. You slip in the blood! You fall over, and smash your face off the corner of the desk. You try to get up, hoping to get to the secretary who will surely be able to re-establish some order, but as you turn Tracy is standing above you, trying to rip the keyboard out to smash you to death with it!
Morale Drop! Head hurts a bit!
Morale Drop! Face hurts a bit too!
Fail! Should have got started by now!
Failure Rating: 17.
Morale: -10.
Task Assigned! Can't remember!
Warning! Your morale level indicates that you are close to depression. This will affect your ability to work.
Channeling her inner bitchiness Tracy reawakens and pulls her head out of the monitor. She grabs the keyboard and rips it free, using it to knock the waste basket from Danny's hands. "Why. Won't. You. Die!!!" she screams. With a final 'thwack' she bludgeons him across the temple.
Screaming
"Why. Won't. You. Die!!!" at Danny, you pull your head out of the monitor as you come to your senses. He’s still there, the bastard! He’ll put you in jail for life if you let him! You grab the keyboard and try to rip it free, but it won’t come out! You pull so hard you drag the computer across the desk, yanking it off and sending it smashing down onto to your foot. In pain and surprise you leap backwards and land on Danny’s office chair which accelerates across the room and slams to a halt against the filing cabinets [1]. The impact knocks you off the chair! You fall on your face! You break your teeth!
Morale Drop! Smashed your teeth in!
Fail! Fighting on GenCorp premises!
Fail! Haven’t got that report typed up yet!
Fail! Left reception unmanned!
Task Assigned! Type up the report!
Task Assigned! Assist reception!
Failure Rating: 38.
Morale: -8.
Warning! Warning! You have reached MEGAFAIL! At this level of incompetence, all GenCorp staff are encouraged to beat you mercilessly and will receive tax-free cash and Morale bonuses for doing so! You will be fired as soon as you are violently immobilised and escorted from the premises!
Go and type up the report.
You go and find a desk where you’re able to log in and start typing up the report on security resource usage following the morning’s staff-based security incidents [4]. You’re more or less finished when the boss walks in.
BOSSCHECK!“Hey, Klag – what’s this about your having a stroke on the way to work today? Eh? And a heart attack? Eh? MAKING YOU LATE? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE PLAYING AT? You should try and look after your health a little better you know, you owe it to GenCorp to be at your best. That Security ain’t gonna Guard itself, ya little wizzle! Now, before you go and guard reception a bit, I need you to go fix someone’s damn mouse in Green Forty 93 Department A. Get to it, scrotefeatures!”
BOSSCHECK FAILEDSuccess! Typed up this report!
Morale Drop! Yelled at and insulted unfairly!
Morale Drop! Couldn’t explain or defend yourself!
Task Completed! Typed up this report!
Task Assigned! Fix that damn mouse!
Task Assigned! Guard reception a bit!
Failure Rating: 11.
Morale: -3.
Noodlerex
You stare open mouthed at the boss's back - that wasn't 100% what you meant by complaining about the janitor licensing. Damn. Still, at least he thinks you're kind of smart now. Perhaps you'd better go and unblock the overflowing toilet in Toilet Block H90.
You have to check where it is on the site map at main reception; you shudder a little when you see blood smears and a smashed up corpse. Perhaps you'll have to clean that up next? The thought nearly makes you sick; next, it nearly makes you cry. When did it come to this? Perhaps your brother was right. Perhaps you do suck. You eventually find Toilet Block H90 after several corridors of unhealthy introspection, and come face to face with the blocked toilet. You realise you have no equipment to help you, but you're feeling crappy enough by now just to roll your sleeve up and ram your arm straight in up to the elbow. It splashes straight through the layer of paper floating in the bowl: you realise you just picked the wrong toilet. This one isn't blocked [2].
Morale Drop! Arm in a toilet!
Fail! Got your arm in the wrong toilet!
Task Assigned Unblock the overflowing toilet in Toilet Block H90!
Task Assigned Attend licensed janitor accreditation morning tomorrow!
Failure Rating: 9.
Morale: -9.
Author
Topic: Roll to Work at GenCorp! Tuesday: The End: A New CEO. (Read 64636 times)