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[SeriousConcentrate]

One blindly panics and opens the window, jumping out in a flash

Also lol at that guy. Given that I had to walk up eight flights of stairs to get to my office, he must have jumped out of a window eight floors high, more or less. >_>

Yes, whoops. NPCs can roll [1]s too! Although I had forgotten just how high up it was.

Makes me think of Airplane! for some reason. :3

[Toaster]

Yank the hell out of the cable.  If it continues to stick, cut it right at the base.  If had to be cut, throw the keyboard away at someone else's empty cube.


Poor Tosca.  You're now officially "Fart-sniffer."

[lawastooshort]

Well, turn 11.05am's all but written now, just waiting for Ochita.

Edit: I have PMed him, either:
1 - I can politely wait until he posts;
2 - I can wait until c. 9.30pm UK time (it's 6.09pm now) and then finish up the turn and post it, assuming for convenience that he has been fire-evacuated.

P.S. Yes, this reply's title IS a spoiler/taster for the turn.

[Toaster]

He hasn't been on since the 16th.  He has lots of posts, but he seems to be much less active as of late.  His post times are all over the map, so there's little info there.


I have no opinion, but I'd give him at least a little bit to post.

[lawastooshort]

I'd give him at least a little bit to post.

That would seem reasonable. I'll wait until tomorrow then.

[lawastooshort]

Monday: 11.05am

Kathryn shrugs and laughs!

They'll probably find some way to blame her for their piece of shit computers exploding, so it's not like she'll have a job soon anyway...Kathryn invites some of her less hostile worker-friends to take a walk a nearby coffee shop and enjoys a small break before the fire engines get here.

Thinking that you’ll probably end up getting fired for exploding their outdated computers, Kathryn invites some of her co-workers to sneak off for a coffee at the nearby Costabucks. The five of you head off, paying little attention to the handful of security guards and curious onlookers surrounding what seems to be a dead body on the neatly clipped grass outside the burning building.

You get to the coffee shop and order a luxurious Crème Brulee Macchiato Grande Slow and a fresh blueberry muffin, and at the centre of your small group you settle down to fifteen minutes of refreshing gossip and/or philosophical discussion, depending on which way you turn in your coffee-appreciating circle [5]. Janine from Accounts turns towards you after a while and suggests you’d better get going.

Morale Boost! Lovely coffee!
Morale Boost! Nice chat!
Success! Reinforcing your professional network!

No Task Assigned!

Failure Rating: 15.
Morale: 6.

Satoshi smiled to himself and studied the article until the fire alarm interrupted him. Wonder what happened this time? The boss had mentioned it too, so he felt no qualms whatsoever about taking his broom outside and sweeping up the front walkway. If the fire was real, he was safe; if it was a false alarm, at least he couldn't be busted for slacking. He also tried to sneak the magazine into an inside pocket of his uniform for later study.

Getting up from your enforced coffee break, you swipe the magazine and conceal it in an inside pocket, hoping for the chance of a more in depth read later in the day. You head outside with your broom and get to some sweeping, mildly diverted by the mixture of panic and joy outside of the burning building Green Four 20 [5].

Morale Boost! Home Tinkerer Acquired!

No Task Assigned!
 
Failure Rating: 5.
Morale: 7.

In panic, Toby does the first thing that comes to his pain-hazed mind. He grabs the rest of the tubes then bumrush to the exit. Whenever he stumbles across any guards, he takes one of the tubes and smash them in hope of distracting them with the foul smell, thus improving the chances of escape

Kicking off your lowered trousers whilst grabbing a large tray of around forty test tubes, you shoulder barge the research assistant and escape. You look over you shoulder as you run and see her sprawling on the floor in your sick and blood, arms and legs waving about like a turned over turtle as she tries to get to her feet [6]. You flee down the corridor outside of Blue Three 16. As you burst through the double fire doors at the end, you slam the doors violently and accidentally into the face of one of the security guards sent to apprehend you; jumping over his prone body you throw a vial of experimental gas into his face.

It explodes into tiny shards as it hits the ground beside him and you escape to the sound of violent retching [5].

You pass down into Blue Two Corridor Four A – there’s another guard at the end of it. Armed with your intestinal biological warfare you decide to take him on. From one side of the screen the security guard rushes towards you as you duck into a sprint. Time seems to slow as he approaches you; you leap over him, crushing a test tube in his face as you jump [6].

He falls to the floor bleeding and vomiting in a foul cloud of gas as you run through the doors at the far end of the corridor. Stinking, blood stained, covered in sick and trouserless in the depths of Bruce Halford’s lair, at least you’re free.

Morale Drop! Covered in sick!
Morale Boost! The sweet taste of freedom!

Fail! Still haven't completed the research!
Fail! Assaulting your colleagues!

Task Assigned! Quick bit of research!
 
Failure Rating: 20.
Morale: -5.

WARNING: Your failure level indicates that you are a failure! This may impact on your morale!

Back in the now fully functional bathroom, Daniel scrubs up and gets himself looking not just presentable, but actually pretty smart looking…

You inspect your fingernails one last time. They’re clean enough to eat with! You probably wouldn’t want to though, considering the last 20 minutes or so. You figure you’d best get back to your workstation to get on with sub-assisting some research. A note left on your neat and tidy workstation next to a small stack of papers reads:

We’ve just received the last batch of participant questionnaires from the AFRODITE study, can you try and get them entered onto the database before lunch please? Thanks, Chantal.”

Gah. Data entry. Well, at least it’ll keep your elbows out of sewage for an hour or so.

Morale Boost! Attractively clean!

Task Assigned! Data entry!
 
Failure Rating: 12.
Morale: -4.

Take 3/4 of papers out of garbage, put back on desk.  Think of witty and intelligent reply for next time boss comes around so I can get yelled at but reply this damn time.

You head back to your desk, managing to get a good proportion of the binned papers out of the garbage. You stack them in a semi-organised way about you as you try to think hard of something clever to say if, or surely rather when, the boss comes back. You can’t think of anything just yet [3].

Task Re-assigned! File those stacks of paper!
 
Failure Rating: 12.
Morale: 3.

Yank the hell out of the cable.  If it continues to stick, cut it right at the base.  If had to be cut, throw the keyboard away at someone else's empty cube.

Close to getting pretty irritated with this damn cable, you plant your feet, grab it with both hands, and yank the hell out of it. It’s taken you an hour and a half, but you’ve finally uninstalled the keyboard [5]. Just as you dump it in the waste paper basket and leave the office, you nearly bump into the office’s owner, Dr Erdleton. Since you’re walking out at the time, he absentmindedly doesn’t notice the door’s been broken down, and he thanks you profusely for de-installating his broken input device. You mutter something about it not being a problem, and hurry on down the corridor.

Morale Boost! Outwitted a cable!
Morale Boost! Words of thanks!
Success! Uninstalled the keyboard!

Task Completed! Keyboard uninstalled!
 
Failure Rating: 12.
Morale: 0.


BOSSCHECK DELAYED! GREEN FOUR TWENTY EVACUATED! WORKERS AFFECTED: KATHRYN WHITE, THE BOSS.



Apologies to Ochita for proceeding; if you have an alternative action I will gladly reroll and rewrite it.

Edit: Frederick's Failure Rating adjusted.

[Ochita]

(Sorry for being late, computer issues, but keep the turn as it is.)
Daniel decides to do the data entry.

[SeriousConcentrate]

Seeing that he had no particular task to do, he decided to make himself useful. Workers were heading back inside so Staoshi went in with them and headed to the lobby, where he replaced the bags in the trashcans and took the waste out to the dumpster in the back.

[Toaster]

Get a snack, then head back down to desk.

[Dwarmin]

Kathryn is feeling better now. Let them do their worst!

She heads back to work, and appraises the damage...she figures if the blame falls on her, she'll probably be able to think of a decent lie...hmm. Blame Terrorists?

Actually, she had a wholes spiel already worked up if someone confronted her.

"The Fire! When I got to my workstation-there was this strange red box sitting on top of my computer, see-and a note. It was made of freaky looking cut-up newspaper clippings. It said

"BRUCE HALFORD, STOP MAKING YOUR PERPETUAL MOTION DEVICE
-THE LAWS OF PHYSICS BLEED! WE ARE THE ORDER-OF-THE-TRANS-ATLANTIC-SEPARATIST-DRAGON-ARMY-OF FREEDOM

(OOTTASDAOF FTW!)

WE HAVE SPOKEN!1!!1

Then there was a flash...and a fire started. Oh, I'm so afraid...what if the terrorists have planted more bombs in the building?! *fake tears*

OOC: And for historical records...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Bruce Halford invented a perpetual motion machine shortly before his ascent to CEO-it's fueled by a handheld fusion generator and the power of love-he calls it the "ETERNA-GO". His company uses it to make coffee machines...

[Tosca_cake92]

Woohoo, go Toby Raah: ACTION HERO!

Toby tries to get himself cleaned up, hopefully by found a source of water (fountain, bathroom eg). After that he tries to get up to his cubical and tries to make a report on the research that he concluded.

[Frelock]

Personally, I think its a fault in your system that you are penalized (with fail points) for not completing a task with no deadline, even if your boss hasn't come in to check on you, and even when he said the job would take hours.  I don't see how taking time on a job that's supposed to take time is failure.

Throw a quarter of the papers in the trash to the pile visibly decreases in size.  Then doodle on a paper, with another on hand to cover it up.

[lawastooshort]

Personally, I think its a fault in your system that you are penalized (with fail points) for not completing a task with no deadline, even if your boss hasn't come in to check on you, and even when he said the job would take hours.  I don't see how taking time on a job that's supposed to take time is failure.

I am keen to address your concerns.

As Dwarmin appositely remarks, there is a measure of serious sentiment behind the feces, sick, and flames. The Fail Point system is there to represent the unreasonable demands of an unreasonable boss in a job that would not be worth it were it not for the rent that needs to be paid and even so probably isn't.

However, as you point out, if a task is supposed to take hours to complete, it may be unreasonable for an employee's taking hours to complete it to be punished.

On the other hand, having a repetitive task to do for a considerable length of time can be damaging to Morale until and unless one enters the Zen Moment of Filing. I will edit the previous turn and, taking on board the fact that you aren't actually doing your assigned task, will not score you a Morale Drop.

This brings me neatly to a final point. I think it would only be fair of me to point out that it could be argued that it is your character's attitude to working that has brought this situation upon himself. It would of course only be fair of me to point out that you could also have done everything demanded of you and failed hard or even died due to unlucky dice rolls.

Please do not take any of this reply in the wrong spirit. I would personally rate my Morale at -9 today, and I have done my best. When you in all likelihood fail an upcoming BOSSCHECK!, it is nothing personal. No one else has passed one either.

Edit: No one had passed one until I just finished rolling the next turn! Whoo! Workers of the World Unite!

[Dwarmin]

@Frelock: If you're thinking the system is unfair...well, that's the point he's trying to get across.

[lawastooshort]

Monday: 11.24am

Daniel decides to do the data entry.

You turn your computer on, and as it boots up you pick up the pile of questionnaires and position them close to hand on the left of your keyboard within easy reach for extra speedy uninterrupted entry. You double click on the AFRODITE database icon [4] on your depressingly messy desktop [1] and while it whirs into action you decide to pop on the small radio on the side of your desk.

Deathly passion, accordion plays!
The life force parts but the soul it stays!

It sounds like one of Accidental Toilet’s deathfunk folkmetal b-sides, and as you start entering and tabbing your way through the two hundred and thirty two fields per questionnaire, your head and fingers fall easily into the infectious accordion driven rhythm

Staring in the distance, staring hard!
Deathly raucous but compassionate bard!

Time flies past and so do the completed questionnaires; you wonder why you don’t have any of the new Accidental Toilet EP on your mp3 player. You’ve probably got another 45 minutes of this to go, at least. You glance up at the clock, wandering when you should go for lunch.

Morale Drop! Too many unfinished tasks on the desktop!
Morale Boost! Typing speed of deathfunk folkmetal! Raaaah!

Task Assigned! Data entry!
 
Failure Rating: 12.
Morale: -3.

Seeing that he had no particular task to do, he decided to make himself useful. Workers were heading back inside so Satoshi went in with them and headed to the lobby, where he replaced the bags in the trashcans and took the waste out to the dumpster in the back.

As various workers return to buildings that had been evacuated in error, you head out to the lobby and empty the trashcans, replacing the bags. You grab a half dozen bags of waste and put them over your shoulder to take out to the dumpster outside in the sun.

You swing the bags into the dumpster in one manly go, but one of them hits the edge and drops back down. You’re taking an extra big swing to make sure you get it in this time when, suddenly, the boss walks past from the other side of the dumpster.

ACCIDENTAL BOSSCHECK!

“Hey Satoshi, I’ve got a quick job for yo…

Just as you get three quarters of the way into your bag swing, the bag splits [1]! The bag explodes in the air, the waste impacting hard in the bosses face!

“Satoshi! WHAT THE HELL? What do you think you’re doi… OH GOD IS THAT PIGEON ON ME?”

You notice pigeon feathers seem to be stuck to the boss’s suit, along with banana skins and damp tissues and the like. Ooh, and is that a pigeon foot sticking out of his pocket?

“I’m sorry sir, that could happen any time with the cheap bags the head of maintenance insists on getting for us, I’ve told him more than once,” you calmly point out [6]. “What were you doing behind the dumpster anyway? Is there more fire sir? Should we evacuate?”

“I… er… no. Get all this round here cleaned up will you, I’ve got people to talk to, I’ll be back later to see how it’s going.”

ACCIDENTAL BOSSCHECK SURVIVED

Fail! Covered your boss in dead pigeon parts!
Morale Boost! Covered your boss in dead pigeon parts!
Morale Boost! Defended yourself against injustice!

Task Assigned! Hygienificate the dumpster area!

Failure Rating: 6.
Morale: 9.

Get a snack, then head back down to desk.

Getting out of the vicinity before Dr Erdleton notices his door is smashed into pieces, you head back down to your desk. On the way you visit the canteen to get a snack from the vending machine. You only want a quick Snickers and you pop your money in and press the button. Two fall out of the vending machine’s generous arm [5]! You happily continue on your way, munching along [6]. You bump into Emma from Accounts on your way. No, the reasonably hot one. In fact, she’s so reasonably hot you’ve never been able to say more than a few words to her. You try to smile and say hi and avoid anything more awkward.

“Oh hey Larry! You on your break? You wanna come and get a coffee with me in the canteen?”

Morale Boost! Extra snack!

No Task Assigned!
 
Failure Rating: 12.
Morale: 1.

Kathryn is feeling better now. Let them do their worst!

She heads back to work, and appraises the damage...she figures if the blame falls on her, she'll probably be able to think of a decent lie...hmm. Blame Terrorists?

Actually, she had a whole spiel already worked up if someone confronted her.

 

You leave Costabucks and head back into work. An ambulance passes you on the way back in to the complex and you can see the burnt out wreck of your eighth floor office from down below. You take the lift up and as you approach your office, striding refreshedly down the corridor to where your office used to be, you see the boss storming towards you. Is that a pigeon feather stuck to his elbow? Anyhow, he seems dangerously calm as he speaks to you.

BOSSCHECK!

“Kathryn. I’ve been speaking to the fire inspector and a couple of your colleagues after the fire was put out just now. It seems that it started on your desk. I’d be interested in hearing an explanation about that. I MEAN WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU WERE UP TO, YOU BLITHERING IDIOT??”

Oh. Maybe not so calm. Anyway, you’ve rehearsed this moment for the last five minutes. Tears start pouring from your eyes [5].

“The Fire! The Fire! Oh dear lord! When I got to my workstation there was this strange red box sitting on top of my computer, see, and a note. It was made of freaky looking cut-up newspaper clippings. It said

"BRUCE HALFORD, STOP MAKING YOUR PERPETUAL MOTION DEVICE
-THE LAWS OF PHYSICS BLEED! WE ARE THE ORDER-OF-THE-TRANS-ATLANTIC-SEPARATIST-DRAGON-ARMY-OF FREEDOM

(OOTTASDAOF FTW!)

WE HAVE SPOKEN!1!!1

At least, I think it said something like that. Then there was a flash...and a fire started. Oh, I'm so afraid...what if the terrorists have planted more bombs in the building?!”

A look of alarm crosses the boss’s face [6].

“What?! There are more terrorists?! JESUS. SHIT.” He calls Security on his phone. “Yeah. It’s me. We gotta problem. Apparently the fire was started by terrorists, and there’s more of ‘em in the building. What? I don’t know. The goddamn coffee machine. Yeah. I know. Unbelievable. Yeah, I suppose it was. Unnatural. Yeah. Ok, well, I’ll keep everyone calm in their offices until the SWAT teams get here then, if you really think that’s the best course of action. Yeah, we have already lost a lot of man-hours. No, we don’t wanna show them they’ve already beaten us. Ok, well, I have staff to check up on, call me back when you heard from the cops.”

He turns back to you,

“Kathryn, get over to Blue Square 23, there should be a spare workstation for you in the sub-sub-secretarial under-assistant bay. Doctor Erdleton says he’s emailed you an mp3 of a three hour teleconference he needs minuting up by the end of the day. Get to it, and keep quiet about the goddamn terrorists and that note, we already had enough problems from the church about that one and we’ve lost enough time today with the evacuation.”

He leaves without even asking you why you didn’t seem to be present at the fire roll-call.

“And sign up for some fire training!” he shouts from halfway down the corridor. “I’m sure you could have done better.”

BOSSCHECK PASSED!

Morale Boost! Totally got away with that!

Task Assigned! Minute a teleconference recording!
Task Assigned! Sign up for some fire training!

Failure Rating: 15.
Morale: 7.

Throw a quarter of the papers in the trash to the pile visibly decreases in size.  Then doodle on a paper, with another on hand to cover it up.

You dump a portion of the filing in a nearby trashcan and sit back whilst you look at the results. It sure does look like you’ve been busy. You start idly doodling on one of the sheets of paper, but the pen runs out halfway through your first drawing [2]. You’re just searching through your drawer for a replacement pen when a very angry looking boss bursts into your room. Is that… nah, why would he have a pigeon’s foot sticking out of his pocket?

BOSSCHECK!

“Frederick, I’m getting pretty fed up of having to check up on you every ten minutes, I want to know why you aren’t down in the archive cupboard getting this stuff filed. I’ve had one HELL of a morning and you’re making it FAR WORSE singlehandedly. Now, tell me why you aren’t… WHO THE HELL IS THAT DRAWING MEANT TO BE? WHY ARE YOU DRAWING? You’re meant to be filing, not drawing! You’re a goddamn engineer, engineers don’t draw! If I wasn’t busy I’d bust your ass back down to sub-engineer right this second. Now, I wanna see you up in…”

His phone rings.

“What?? Professor Crack is already here? Ah. I’m on my way.”

He leaves without finishing his sentence, which you think might be a good thing.

BOSSCHECK FAILED

Fail! You’re not filing those papers!
Morale Drop! Still didn’t get a chance to tell that %$@! what you think!

Task Assigned! File those stacks of paper!
 
Failure Rating: 14.
Morale: 2.

Toby tries to get himself cleaned up, hopefully by found a source of water (fountain, bathroom eg). After that he tries to get up to his cubical and tries to make a report on the research that he concluded.

Still on the run, you pass a bathroom and get cleaned up. Stripping off your disgusting shirt and scrubbing and scrubbing, you manage to get completely clean [6]! You even clean up the wound on your nether regions and pull out a few remaining shards of glass. The blood stops flowing and it looks a pretty professional job. Before leaving you dry your clothes under the hand dryer.

You still don’t have any trousers though, and you notice you’re half-dressed a few minutes later while typing at your desk just as the boss walks in. You hope he doesn’t notice.

BOSSCHECK!

“Toby Raah, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT? I’ve been looking all over for you, Dr Fleck said you stole her research material, pushed her over and then ran off, why aren’t you still in security? She said she sent for them, what the hell are you doing at your desk? She said you haven’t even completed the damn research yet and for all I know she’s probably STILL crying in the corner down in her lab. Come up to my office in fifteen minutes and if you’re not goddamn there on time I’m sending security down to turf you out. If there weren’t terrorists in the building I’d goddamn do it myself right now.”

Before you get a chance to say anything at all, he turns to leave. As he does, you noticed there seems to be some kind of feather stuck to the back of his jacket. Just as he opens the door, he pauses and turns.

“Are you… goddamnit son, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOUR TROUSERS?”

He storms out shaking his head and muttering angrily to himself.

BOSSCHECK FAILED

Morale Boost! All clean!
Morale Boost! Still enjoying the sweet taste of freedom!
Morale Drop! No chance to defend yourself!
Morale Drop! Extreme failing!

Fail! Why in the lord’s name have you got no trousers on?
Fail! Requested in the boss’s office!

Task Completed! The boss probably doesn’t care about the research anymore!
Task Assigned! Head to the boss’s office!
 
Failure Rating: 26.
Morale: -5.

WARNING! Your failure level indicates a level of performance that is NOT ACCEPTABLE at a successful company such as GenCorp. Unless it improves IMMEDIATELY you will be FIRED when the chance arises. You are NOT IMPORTANT enough to be fired by BRUCE HALFORD HIMSELF. Your Morale is NEGATIVELY affected by your impending unemployment.

Edit: Surplus space spotted.