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[Gatleos]

You land on one of those canvas things above fancy restaurants that people in movies always seem to land on! Oh wait, that was a car. The impact breaks most of your unbroken bones.
Nicolas, meanwhile, manages to land gracefully on a pile of feathers and mattress foam, sustaining no injury. Aside from his blood-spewing arm, of course. Dragging himself over to you, he pulls you out of the twisted wreckage of the car roof.
"Melvin! Hang on, you can't die now! You were chosen for a reason, Melvin. You're the only one who can- DAMMIT MELVIN, LOOK AT ME! We're all fucked if you die! MELVIN!"

The world fades away...

...

...

...

"Kid? Damn, looks like you're in tough shape. But the Chosen One has never failed in his mission before, simply because he mustn't. I know you can do it. Just hang in there, Melvin..."

...

...

...

As Nicolas cradles your body in his arms, a massive force of winged velociraptors descends upon the two of you. A caped figure wearing a horned helmet steps off of his velociraptor and takes off his helmet.
"Long time no see, Nicolas."
"Rob... you traitor!! I should have known it would be you."
"Give me the kid, Nick. You've got nowhere left to run."
NAME: Melvin T.
RANK: 18 (Christopher Walken)
INVENTORY: Mom's Car Keys | Police Radio | Katana
VEHICLE: None
WOUNDS: 1st degree burns (mouth/left leg) | Bruising (back) | Heavy bleeding (neck/arm) | Broken Leg x2 | Broken Right Arm | Fractured Left Arm | Broken Rib x4
Balls
██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ Level 2 Badass
NAME: Nicolas Cage
RANK: 17 (Jason Statham)
INVENTORY: Sub-Machine Gun | Sub-Machine Gun Magazine (x1)
VEHICLE: None
WOUNDS: Heavy Bleeding (arm) | Missing Right Arm
Balls
██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ Level 3 Badass
Abilities Discovered: I: Assertiveness | II: Instant Firearm Expert | III: Car-Fu

[Taricus]

WE HEADBUTT HIM! And Nick fires the SMG on handed, because recoil can go to hell.

[Sinpwn]

Go Super Sayan.

[HailFire]

You guys realize there are grades of badassery, right? Until we reach actual action-hero status and can harness the Rule of Cool, we want to do things that are ballsy, but not out-and-out suicidal (not directed at the suggestions for this part, but to the thread in general).

[Askot Bokbondeler]

what's the antithesis of badassery? or are the bad guys badass too?

[Pandarsenic]

Of course the enemies are badass. If they weren't, we wouldn't be more badass by defeating them.

Also, roar our fury.

[Askot Bokbondeler]

crawl arround. failing that, wiggle our toes like a paraplegic drunken irishman

[mainiac]

wiggle our toes like a paraplegic drunken irishman[/b]

+1

[Tack]

roar our fury.

Go Super Sayan.

[Zako]

Grab hold and unleash the inner badass within us! Become more than we have ever dreamed!

[NRDL]

Grab hold and unleash the inner badass within us! Become more than we have ever dreamed!

[Powder Miner]

Rip one of our bones out and kill him with it.

[jc6036]

Ehm, we're not badass enough to do all of these potentially life threatening things. But yeah, "I'm not giving up now!" Then unleash our inner rage, assuming that we have a large enough quantity to kill ninja with.

[Gatleos]

Struggling to stay conscious, you clutch your throat with your intact left arm and speak softly to Nick.
"You can do this, Nick. I... I thought *gurgle* National Treasure was pretty good."
"...Really?"
"And Con-Air was alright, I guess. *cough*"
Nick rises to his feet and looks at the gang of velociraptor riders.
"No."
"For God's sake, Nick, your arm is gone! Don't make this harder than it needs to be!"
"I don't give up that easily."
Whipping out his SMG, Nick begins firing one-handed at the crowd of ninjas! He manages to take a few down, but they quickly surround you!
"*Sigh* You had your chance, Nick. Prepare to- AAAGGGHH!"
Rob Schneider is abruptly run over by a huge black vehicle! A caped figure leaps out of the driver seat and throws several small boomerangs, incapacitating the nearby velociraptors!
"It couldn't be..."
"Quick, get in the Batmobile!"
NAME: Melvin T.
RANK: 18 (Christopher Walken)
INVENTORY: Mom's Car Keys | Police Radio | Katana
VEHICLE: None
WOUNDS: 1st degree burns (mouth/left leg) | Bruising (back) | Heavy bleeding (neck/arm) | Broken Leg x2 | Broken Right Arm | Fractured Left Arm | Broken Rib x4
Balls
██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ Level 2 Badass
NAME: Nicolas Cage
RANK: 17 (Jason Statham)
INVENTORY: Sub-Machine Gun
VEHICLE: None
WOUNDS: Heavy Bleeding (arm) | Missing Right Arm
Balls
██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ Level 3 Badass
Abilities Discovered: I: Assertiveness | II: Instant Firearm Expert | III: Car-Fu

[HailFire]

Welp, since Nick's already proven that he's badass enough to single-handedly hold our fat ass and mow down a crowd of ninjas with an SMG while bleeding profusely from his amputated stump (with what I assume to be his off-arm, no less)

Nick: Moonwalk into the Batmobile while nonchalantly mowing down the rest of the ninjas.