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[Askot Bokbondeler]

that's so unbadass... this isn't a romantic comedy, get over your uncorresponded feelings, you'll get your chance at love when you're worthy

Think of Revege and resolve to keep living.

[Theodolus]

Punch the sky for daring to laugh at you!

[Tack]

Think of Revenge and resolve to keep living.

[Karnewarrior]

>Recive a vision from Theodore Roosevelt.

[Yoink]

Think of Xuan and resolve to keep living.

I'm going with this, and we should mutter something through the pain about how we can't leave her alone in this chaos...
"Hrgh... Cannot die... Must... Save Xuan... Protect those who... Cannot protect themselves!"

...Of course, conveniently forgetting about how she beat us down when we barged into her apartment.

[mainiac]

Think of Xuan and resolve to keep living.

I'm going with this, and we should mutter something through the pain about how we can't leave her alone in this chaos...
"Hrgh... Cannot die... Must... Save Xuan... Protect those who... Cannot protect themselves!"

Exactly.

[Pandarsenic]

>Recive a vision from Theodore Roosevelt.

I support this, regardless of other options used or unused.

[Gatleos]

THE SKY MUST-
"Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure... than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
"FUCK YES THAT IS SO INSPIRATIONAL."
You vomit up most of the contents of the bottle of painkillers! Your hallucinations begin to fade, and the searing pain comes back! Screaming incoherently, you run toward the ninjas, trip, and break both of your legs!
Nicolas runs to your aid, but one of the ninjas lops off his right arm and pushes both of you off the edge of the building! You begin rapidly descending toward the street below!
NAME: Melvin T.
RANK: 18 (Christopher Walken)
INVENTORY: Mom's Car Keys | Police Radio | Katana
VEHICLE: None
WOUNDS: 1st degree burns (mouth/left leg) | Bruising (back) | Heavy bleeding (neck/arm) | Broken Leg x2
Balls
██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ Level 2 Badass
NAME: Nicolas Cage
RANK: 17 (Jason Statham)
INVENTORY: Sub-Machine Gun | Sub-Machine Gun Magazine (x1)
VEHICLE: None
WOUNDS: Heavy Bleeding (arm) | Missing Right Arm
Balls
██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ Level 3 Badass
Abilities Discovered: I: Assertiveness | II: Instant Firearm Expert | III: Car-Fu

[NRDL]

Land on those things that people place above restaurant doors.  Made of tarpaulin or something. 

[Pandarsenic]

Ow. Snake eyes?

Melvin: Grab a ninja and consume his soul to heal legs.

NC: Grab arm and beat a ninja to death with it before landing and reattaching it.

[Karnewarrior]

>Random guy on the street: Be The Batman, wear the cape

>Melvin: Be saved by Batman.

[mainiac]

>Random guy on the street: Be The Batman, wear the cape

>Melvin: Be saved by Batman.

Best shot.

[Yoink]

>Fall into a conveniently placed open-bedded truck filled with mattresses to cushion your fall

Wait no, f*** that! We're BADASS, man!

>Fall through a nearby plateglass window into a secret ninja compound, crushing the leader of the evil ninja clan to death with the weight of our flab badassery.

[NRDL]

>Fall into a conveniently placed open-bedded truck filled with mattresses to cushion your fall

Wait no, f*** that! We're BADASS, man!

>Fall through a nearby plateglass window into a secret ninja compound, crushing the leader of the evil ninja clan to death with the weight of our flab badassery.

I change my vote to this. 

[Tack]

I also this.