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[Zako]

Son of a bitch...

[Mullet Master]

Wait until you run out of gas, then use  autorotation to come to a perfect landing somewhere on top of a building.

[Powder Miner]

Grab parachuts, jump out with NC parachuted while the plane crashes into the ninjas, killing them all except for one, who you charge with your katana, which is attached like a bayonet to your machine gun.

[Zako]

It's not a plane, it's a helicopter. Parachutes aren't really packed into helicopters, since it's pretty stupid to jump out of one like a plane. And that's nicks gun, not ours.

[HailFire]

Wait until you run out of gas, then use  autorotation to come to a perfect landing somewhere on top of a building.

This.

If we can learn to fly one spur-of-the-moment, we can land it like a boss.

[NRDL]

Wait until you run out of gas, then use  autorotation to come to a perfect landing somewhere on top of a building.

This.

If we can learn to fly one spur-of-the-moment, we can land it like a boss.

[Audioworm333]

Wait until you run out of gas, then use  autorotation to come to a perfect landing somewhere on top of a building.

This.

If we can learn to fly one spur-of-the-moment, we can land it like a boss.

[Karnewarrior]

Wait until you run out of gas, then use  autorotation to come to a perfect landing somewhere on top of a building.

This.

If we can learn to fly one spur-of-the-moment, we can land it like a boss.

It'll also probably explode as we walk away from it.

[Theodolus]

Wait until you run out of gas, then use  autorotation to come to a perfect landing somewhere on top of a building.

This.

If we can learn to fly one spur-of-the-moment, we can land it like a boss.

It'll also probably explode as we walk away from it.

All of this.

[Shootandrun]

Wait until you run out of gas, then use  autorotation to come to a perfect landing somewhere on top of a building.

This.

If we can learn to fly one spur-of-the-moment, we can land it like a boss.

It'll also probably explode as we walk away from it.

All of this.

And don't forget not to look at the explosion.

[Audioworm333]

Wait until you run out of gas, then use  autorotation to come to a perfect landing somewhere on top of a building.

This.

If we can learn to fly one spur-of-the-moment, we can land it like a boss.

It'll also probably explode as we walk away from it.

All of this.

And don't forget not to look at the explosion.

[Gatleos]

Panicking, you open the door and hang over the edge to reach the fuel tank, and fall out of the helicopter! The flying velociraptor (which totally looks like winged Yoshi from Super Mario World except, like, evil) descends on you and starts shaking you by the neck as you fall at high speed toward a tall rooftop!
Nick, not panicking, jumps out of the helicopter after you and lands on the velociraptor in midair, then pistol whips the ninja rider over the edge with his SMG! He then snaps the velociraptor's neck and grabs you from its limp maw, jumping onto the roof below! The helicopter impacts the roof, and Nick totally doesn't look at the explosion.

NICOLAS CAGE LEVEL UP!!!
You have discovered ability III: Car-Fu!

Oh, and blood is gushing out of your neck.
NAME: Melvin T.
RANK: 18 (Christopher Walken)
INVENTORY: Mom's Car Keys | Pain Pills | Police Radio | Katana
VEHICLE: None
WOUNDS: 1st degree burns (mouth/left leg) | Bruising (back) | Heavy bleeding (neck)
Balls
██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ Level 2 Badass
NAME: Nicolas Cage
RANK: 17 (Jason Statham)
INVENTORY: Sub-Machine Gun | Sub-Machine Gun Magazine (x2)
VEHICLE: None
WOUNDS: None
Balls
██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ Level 3 Badass
Abilities Discovered: I: Assertiveness | II: Instant Firearm Expert | III: Car-Fu

[woose1]

NC: Tenderly look into Melvin's eyes as the lifeblood flows out of him.
Melvin: Kiss him you fool!

Fuck that. Melvin, get the fuck up, use the katana to chop off one of your sleeves, and wrap it around the wound like some sort of battle-scarf.

[Tack]

Do this now! ^

[Powder Miner]

NC: Grab the machinegun and mow them down!