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[Pandarsenic]

I don't think we're near one of those.

[Zako]

Duty calls! Ask about the bombings after taking some painkillers. Make sure that they ARE painkillers before you take them.

[Gatleos]

You run over to the nearby police officers.
"Where are the bombings?!"
Cop: "Can someone get this guy on a stretcher? He's delirious!"
Paramedic: "Sir, calm down! Just relax, it'll-"
You push the paramedic out of the way, grab a bottle of painkillers from the ambulance, grab one of the police officers' radios, and sprint to your mom's car! Your leg starts burning unbearably, so you pop two pills.
Cop: "Hey, get back here!"
You turn the key in the ignition.
NAME: Melvin T.
RANK: 19 (Nicolas Cage)
INVENTORY: Pain Pills | Police Radio
WOUNDS: 1st degree burns (mouth/left leg)
BALLS
██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ Level 1 Badass

[NRDL]

Get location of bombings from radio, drive there like crazy.  Oh, and take "pain pills". 

[Zako]

Not too many. That wouldn't be badass, but weak. Plus it would also be dangerous. Best to step on the gas to get away from the cops too. Don't run over anyone or hit anything on the way there. When we get there, park the car calmly. We don't want the bomber to go off early.

[Pandarsenic]

We already took two. We shouldn't even be driving but it's a bit late to back out.

We ride.

[Tack]

Pretend to be a police officer- ask about the locations of the bombings, and try to hazard a guess as to where the next ones will happen.
And then drive there.

[NRDL]

We already took two. We shouldn't even be driving but it's a bit late to back out.

We ride.

[Reudh]

Drift around the corners like a boss, without missing a beat. Then power through the pain and rehearse martial arts in Melvin's head to prepare for the next encounter.

[Armok]

> Just drive around at breakneck speed looking for exploding things.

[mainiac]

Guys, I think if we look for the plot too hard we will look lame.  Besides, the plot can't be a never ending sequence of bigger explosions, there needs to be interludes and plot development.  It's best to calm down and recover for a moment so the plot can blindside us again.

What was the name of the girl Melvin could never work up the courage to ask out?  I think that someone with a level in badass should call her up.  Say "Hey, it's Melvin.  There's something I gotta say.  I realized today that life is too short and I was never looking for what's really important.  It's time to change that.  How does a date tonight sound?"

[lawastooshort]

Say "Hey, it's Melvin.  There's something I gotta say.  I realized today that my leg wasn't on fire.  How does a date tonight sound?"

Slight adjustment but I think that's a good idea.

[Tack]

Say "Hey, it's Melvin.  Date me."

[Pandarsenic]

Say "Hey, it's Melvin.  Date me."

[Gatleos]

You peel out of the small fast food parking lot, listening to the police radio. There appear to be attacks all over the city, and you can see smoke rising in the distance. For some unfathomable reason, you decide now is the best time to ask someone out on a date. Whipping out your cell phone, a number comes to mind: 479-8833. But what was her name...?
NAME: Melvin T.
RANK: 19 (Nicolas Cage)
INVENTORY: Mom's Car Keys | Pain Pills | Police Radio
VEHICLE: Mom's 1987 Hatchback [!]
WOUNDS: 1st degree burns (mouth/left leg)
BALLS
██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ Level 1 Badass