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[Elvisdogs]

Hope to Armok there's an explosion and don't look at it while nonchalantly walking away from the freaked out cops

[Gatleos]

Rising to your feet, you strike a badass pose just in time for a conveniently-placed gas canister to explode somewhere behind you! The police and fire department arrive on the scene, but they haven't seen you standing in the wreckage yet. Wut nao?
NAME: Melvin T.
RANK: 19 (Nicolas Cage)
INVENTORY: None
WOUNDS: 1st degree burns (mouth)
BALLS
██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ Level 1 Badass

[NRDL]

Save someone trapped in the burning building.  That way, you get first degree burns EVERYWHERE!   

[Neyvn]

Hope to Armok there's an explosion and don't look at it while nonchalantly walking away from the freaked out cops

This has the best truth to it for this post...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sqz5dbs5zmo

[Gatleos]

You charge back into the burning building and drag out an immolated fry cook! Unfortunately your leg is now on fire.
NAME: Melvin T.
RANK: 19 (Nicolas Cage)
INVENTORY: None
WOUNDS: 1st degree burns (mouth)
BALLS
██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ Level 1 Badass

[lawastooshort]

See if any of the recently arrived police and fire department are attractive women. Chat them up a bit, telling them about the fry cook you dragged out, whilst on fire. Light a cigarette off burning leg but otherwise ignore it.

[Pandarsenic]

MANLINESS demands that we take the fry cook to the ambulance and tell them he needs help while insisting our own injuries aren't a problem if they're mentioned.

[Tack]

MANLINESS demands that we take the fry cook to the ambulance and tell them he needs help while insisting our own injuries aren't a problem if they're mentioned.

[mainiac]

Dont forget to mutter to him "Stay with me, buddy.  You're gonna be alright."

[Geen]

Light cigar on burning leg.

[Zako]

Stop pulling cigars and ciggarettes out from thin air! We aren't badass enough to do that yet.

Slap out pants leg and calmly drag that chef to safety.

[Elvisdogs]

DROP FRY GUY AT THE AMBULANCE AND PUT OUT THE FIRE YOURSELF

[NRDL]

MANLINESS demands that we take the fry cook to the ambulance and tell them he needs help while insisting our own injuries aren't a problem if they're mentioned.

[Gatleos]

You drag the fry cook to the closest ambulance, mentally screaming and cursing at your burning leg.
Paramedic: "Oh my God, your leg is on fire! Someone get me a fire blanket!"
"No need to worry about me, I'm- OH MY GOD MY LEG IS ON FIRE AAAAAGGGGHHHH"
You drop to the ground and roll out the fire.
Cop: "Damnit, we're getting reports of bombings all over the city! It's some kind of coordinated attack!"
NAME: Melvin T.
RANK: 19 (Nicolas Cage)
INVENTORY: None
WOUNDS: 1st degree burns (mouth/left leg)
BALLS
██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ Level 1 Badass

[BunnyBob77]

Climb to the top of a skyscraper and look down at the city like a badass.