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[sgt0pimienta]

Ok, first of all, this is no dumb post talking about finding "true love" or any fairy tale,just...an odds request?

I was thinking...is there a chance to have a...sort of serious relationship in middleschool...i know im young,i know its hard, i know its not the time,and i know this post is mainly pointless...but is there a chance to have a lasting,real relationship,because...well,  all relationships i've seen with people my age are not based of love or any feeling...just this dumb obsesion to have a BF/GF,most of all relationships are not "serious" at all and last around a week, a month at most.

I was thinking this because there was this girl i met and the short version of the story was that i really loved her,kind of like a sister,so when i told her i also said i wouldn't push her to have an actual relationship (neither of us wanted to) the thing is i can love her anyway,if she finds a boyfriend i will fell happy for her,i will be with her if she goes through rough times,i really love her,but im not looking for a relationship with her,i fell we are just fine like this.

So,i was wondering what were the odds of having a relationship with someone that really loves me.


Thanks, just a doubt, please don't judge

[sgt0pimienta]

ok maybe im not clear with my words, if you don't get what i say please tell me, sorry.

[Fenrir]

We understand. The answer is, I am afraid, “no”.

You are incomplete. Forget about “love” and turn your thoughts and your hands to your own development, so, when it comes time for you to think of such things, you shall be more valuable to a lover.

[sgt0pimienta]

We understand. The answer is, I am afraid, “no”.

You are incomplete. Forget about “love” and turn your thoughts and your hands to your own development, so, when it comes time for you to think of such things, you shall be more valuable to a lover.

[Fenrir]

Aw, don’t be sad—if that is what that face... thing sincerely means.

[Heron TSG]

I know one couple that has been together since 8th grade that is now married, but the odds seem to be very slim.

[The Mechanical Man]

I'm in high school and I've been in 2 relationships in the past, so I have a little experience with this.

First, let me say that no matter what (with a few very lucky exceptions), relationships at this age will end at some point or another. You can certainly feel free to date people, but you have to know that it's going to end in a year or maybe less, depending. Your chances of getting into a relationship and the length of that relationship do increase when you get into high school, especially when you're a senior or a junior, but the same stuff still applies.

I would definitely say that romantic relationships in middle school or high school are character building experiences and you will never forget the lessons you learned. Trust me on that one.

[lurtze1]

Well this is going to sound strange, but with those relations, you should go for it but not all out. Remember that you're still in school. Everything you do now is good experience for the rest of your life just like fenrir said.

[sgt0pimienta]

I'm in high school and I've been in 2 relationships in the past, so I have a little experience with this.

First, let me say that no matter what (with a few very lucky exceptions), relationships at this age will end at some point or another. You can certainly feel free to date people, but you have to know that it's going to end in a year or maybe less, depending. Your chances of getting into a relationship and the length of that relationship do increase when you get into high school, especially when you're a senior or a junior, but the same stuff still applies.

I would definitely say that romantic relationships in middle school or high school are character building experiences and you will never forget the lessons you learned. Trust me on that one.

Well,i just joined middleschool,i do mix in with pretty much everyone,specially the boys,i got a TON of good friends,but im still new to many people,even though i already knew them (hehe) and there are some girls im pretty interested in,so im in this weird mood in wich i just think "whatever happens happens" just trying to meet as much people as i can,but there is one girl that really makes the back of my head click.

And im applying the whatever happens happens rule though i AM really into that girl, but im not really looking for a dumb drama based relationship, im trying to see if something..."real"? can happen,not just a stupid two week relationship that ends up in both of us being embaraced,buriyng it and never talking again

[Bdthemag]

Well anyone who sig's me is guarenteed to get a response from me. To put it simply, no. During the time you spend in middle school your not really sure how realtionships work, so think of it as a test phase.

To be blunt, most relationships in middleschool last around 2-3 weeks. They're not serious since I imagine its a way to go "Look, I have a girlfriend so im cool now!". Don't expect anything semi-serious until around highschool pal.

[sonerohi]

Middle school relationships are a primer for high school relationships. Think of it like studying before a test. Key skills to pick up on: Being able to be normal around the opposite gender; spending intense amounts of time with one person without breaking down; hand holding. Also important for getting all the cutesy stuff out of your system.

[Bauglir]

I will say that if your aim is to have a girlfriend, and this girl just happens to fit the criteria, there's a good chance it'll not last for a long time. Not necessarily, but I think it'd be a stabler thing if the motivation was that you really like the girl, to the point where you're interested in her as a girlfriend (regardless of what you think about the idea of having a girlfriend at all). It's a bit of a tricky distinction, and by no means is the latter the "right" way to go about it (you can have a wonderful, long-lasting relationship in any case), I just suspect that it'd be likelier to last longer. No empirical data on that, though, just my own musings, so take it for what you will.

[GlyphGryph]

Can a semi-serious relationship exist? Of course. But it probably won't last. (Believe it or not, its possible to have serious relationships that don't last forever!)
Is it likely? No.
Is there a chance that a not-so-serious relationship can grow into something more? Yes, though it's more unlikely.

Yeah, a few issues as to why it probably won't last assuming you find someone who's even interested:
1. You don't know who you are yet. This means you likely don't know what you want, and its unlikely what you end up getting will fit that. Some people don't figure this out (or any of these points) until well into their twenties. (some never do)
2. Even if you know who you are... You'll change, most likely to a person who doesn't like the person you're with or isn't liked by them. And knowing who you are doesn't necessarily mean you understand what you want.
3. Above two, but for the other person.
4. Eventually, you'll both grow into people who realize what they thought was important wasn't, and break up, assuming you now know the truth. (This will not be true)
5. Eventually, you'll discover what IS important - if you make it to this stage while still together, there's a good chance you'll go all the way! Unless one of you decides that what's important is something other than the relationship, and it becomes an either/or situation (world travel, professional career, there's many causes of this)
6. Most high quality relationships are based on a concept of self-sufficiency. Knowledge that the other person CAN successfully/happily live without you, but doesn't want to. If that's not there, a relationship can quickly end up feeling like a burden, which isn't good for anyone! And since you've likely only ever been reliant on others and not on yourself, you're very unlikely to have this!

Now, here's the important bit:
This doesn't mean you shouldn't try.
Experiment while you can. Work on addressing those points - find out more about who you are and what you want (and in some cases, its more about deciding who you are than discovering it), because it's usually pretty vital to a high quality relationship. You don't really need to deal with all of them for a relationship to be serious or even successful, but they help.
If you're interested, go on a few dates with her! Discover some stuff together, ask her out. Don't expect it to last forever, even if you want it to, but god knows breaking up in middle school doesn't mean you won't ever get back together (unless you really like burning bridges).

And finally-
This could all be bullshit. I didn't date until Uni.

[Vector]

I have to say that I didn't date until I was about to start university, either, and I still got fucked over quite liberally by ... 1-6.  Seriously.

I still agree with trying, though.  Just don't do anything nasty or stupid.

[MorleyDev]

You date, you get dumped or dump them, it happens and you learn and grow, but look at it this way: you could have the "yay we go out now but have no idea what to do with each other so it's just sorta awkward"ness now, or you could have it later.

Life is just a long sequence of experiences, so cram as many good, educational or at the very least interesting ones down your noggin' as you can