Official thoughts of the overseer and gift to all dwarfkind, Mitch.
Woe be he who did not embark on a flux/iron map! They shall feel my contempt! Iron circular saws shall not come to fruition; copper is shit and bronze is inaccessible. I suspect the weapon traps will be have to be made from the
FUCKIN' SHIT quality weapons the goblins drop.
We lack the bins to hold all of my amazing new metals!
Hmm, my outdoor walls seem to occupy the space of a lot of the mechanisms of the cage traps.
Get fucked.
I have to move the mechanisms to the new furniture stockpile I like to call, 'The ex-shit hall', so named for it's previous use of wasting fucking space.
It's the start of summer; and little of my masonry has been completed. I've seen moody dwarves without ingredients work faster than these idiots. 35 idlers; we have too many stupid haulers. If I was insane I would call for a mass cleansing; send all the useless dwarves to lock themselves in the caverns and fight the remaining forgotten beasts. We killed four; there are still fucking more.
The elves have arrived; Nix is asking me not to send her to deal with those smelly asshats. I complied. I instead sent Nix, our military commander, to steal from those smelly asshats.
55 idlers? We have 11 woodworkers, 22 craftdwarves,
37 useless twat farmers and
50 animals. The voice in my head tells me, "The FPS is too low; slaughter the animals..." I complied. 30 animals, mostly dogs, have been sent to the caverns, where I will airlock them to get slaughtered by the Beasties. A sketch is coming soon!
My rooms have not been dug out yet. Most displeasing. I have officially branded all miners, 'tossers', until they do. On the plus side the metal excavation and stockpiles have been dug out. They found clear diamond! Most excellent!
Rooms have been completed, 'tosser' titles have been removed. Now commencing werewolf cage placement and kimberlite road construction. I
could have a fancy room, but I'm a man of the people. And by people I mean I hate listening to nobles complain about how better I am and thus my room is than them. On a related note we need a jail; a noble is about to punish an innocent for not making 'lay pewter'. Turns out you need tin, copper and lead. We aren't rolling around in fucking tin you twats...
Placed in the food stockpile to prevent DEATH BY BEING RETARDED AND NOT ASKING FOR FOOD.
Hahaha! We have lots of silver! Silver warhammers for the weapon traps! I'm a genius! Ordered 90 because I'm too awesome. Can't have too many traps. Now how we're going to get 90 silver bars... well, I think we have enough ore. We're carrying 25 silver bars as it is. I think I'll be able to let forge and smelt on auto-pilot. Auto-smelting galena because of the higher chance for yielding silver.
Splendid. Nobles ask for quality, I ask for fucking class. Wall engraving coming soon. In celebration I expanded the peasant's rooms. I get the feeling that something is coming; nothing rage-inducing has happened recently. In fact, the mood around here is quite good. Industrious. Nothing has killed us in quite a while, but that's probably because we're pussies. We've gotten a total of TWO goblins killed. Ever. We suck.
That's going to change when my silver warhammers are finished... OoOOOohhh they'll feel the sting...
Speaking of the holy justice of a silver hammer; our captain of the guard is going to inflict it now. Some common metal-crafter; nothing serious. He is the first criminal we have so far. Arena has begun planning
Dwarven justice, first delivered on 17th Hematite!
Sirocco banned all export of earrings. What a nasty man. Earrings are part of our craft trade!
Arena planned out. I know I'm a 'dabbling' architect, but man am I awesome.
Sort looks like that spider Chilton made for me, eh?
A blacksmith entered a mood. Possession; though not like it matters. The fucksmith is already a legendary metalsmith; and how he got to that stage I'll never know. Were the previous rulers ordering metal furniture? Knowing the insanity of this place it's safe to assume.
Nix has been overthrown! Huzzah! This new asshole likes a more accessible metal; iron. It's Nix's fault for not making public appearances these days; something to do with being at training every day, every week. Yes, my doing. I don't care. A note to all future overseers, melt down goblin weapons and armour for this dude.
I have assigned the lowest quality chair and table in order to cater for his bookkeeping needs.
I also removed all other armoursmiths from service. I'm the only good one; legendary in fact. Wait, what the fuck?
Uhh... We have 800 units of booze. He died in the middle of the fucking dining room. How on earth did this stupid twat drop dead from thirst? We're literally living in frozen water! I suspect there's a suicide cult around here, him being the only member. I do have my eye on the rest of these ninnies, though there is no one thirsty in the health report...
Oh man, I completely forgot about the dog sacrifice. I've ordered an air lock be placed. This will take fucking forever seeing as though dwarves need walk 500 miles (and Iiii would walk 500 more, just tah be the man who walks a thousand miles to fall down at your door) to get to the magma-sea/3rd cavern level.
In the meantime I've drafted 5 novice mechanics to speed along the trap-installing process, including that weirdo SHADE. Speaking of shit taking too long; the forges have finally been mined out. Man, these miners are slow as FUCK. Speaking of FUCK, HOLY FUCK. We actually had lay pewter; enough for the stupid mandate from earlier! Agh, now I feel downright silly. That metalcrafter gave his life away for nothing. That's not saying much because his life was worthless, but still...
Weapon production too fucking slow. After all this time, 3 weaponsmiths produce 4 hammers. Gigantic fucks are given. Fuck the fucking pair of forges; not enough. One is taken by the legendary cocksmith in a mood. Added 2 more unskilled weaponsmiths to the roster until we can get a fucking gravytrain of legendary weaponsmiths going. Maaan I'm so tired of stupid shit. Oh, get your fuckin' knickers in a twist about digging ABOVE the magma, why don't ye... Don't fuckin' cancel on me boy-o...
Migrant assholes have arrived. I dont give a shit unless one of you is a weaponsmith... Lets see...
A high master mechanic (YES), a dyer, a peasent, a gemsmith (fabulous...), a weaver, a pumper, some other useless shit... AHAHA! YES.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WE HAVE A FUCKING WEAPONSMITH. THE SHITS OF A THOUSAND EMPIRES ARE GIVEN.I HOPE HE DOESN'T GET TRAMPLED BY THE NEARBY RAINDEER. KNOWING MY LUCK HE WILL.
Nicknamed him the Godsend.
And on a final note, I did not finish the air-lock. I got stuck on the inside. Silly me.
That was long...
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Topic: Frozenvictims 2.0 - Terrifying Glacier succession fort (Read 30625 times)