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Author Topic: Share your examples of sadism code!  (Read 3106 times)

Quiles

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Share your examples of sadism code!
« on: September 05, 2011, 11:25:56 pm »

Share your examples of complete sadism showed by the game! (sadism code, coined by girlinhat)
Basically any time the game has screwed you over, then screwed you over again, then a couple more time for the hell of it and then once again.

Example:
Medium sized fort, 5 axelords and 5 nooby markdwarves.
First I get a minotuar
Then an invasion
Then another minotuar
Then another invasion (w/ slate demon leader)
Then an ambush
Then a roc
Then an ettin

All in the space of about 1.5 years

The worst bit is, just after the ettin attack I got a working dodgem trap going
I have had nothing, for a year, not one little ambush
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Eric Blank

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Re: Share your examples of sadism code!
« Reply #1 on: September 06, 2011, 12:05:37 am »

Sieged for five straight years by various enemies. That fortress was doomed from the start, but once I had some decent gear and 15 multi-legendary soldiers I figured I could open my gates. But no. Every siege, a bare minimum of 1 soldier was lost. Their replacements? random civies who got maybe a week in the danger room and proficient in their highest skill. The civies replacements? Nobody. If migrants arrived on a given year, they were slaughtered. Most of the soldiers were dieing because they were trying to equip themselves with some odd piece of gear left unforbidden outside the fortress, more often than not a weapon or shield, dooming them.
Down from 150 to 90 dwarves, I gave up on year 6 post-invasion. The militia was a laughing stock, only maybe 2 original soldiers survived that period: the commander and my avatar, Eric the hammerdwarf. I voted to turn invasions off, pretend I had claimed a diplomatic solution to the wars. DF wouldn't have that. Constant crashing.
I tried to end it spectacularly, but DF wouldn't have that either. So I gave up and just deleted the save.
I haven't felt so pitiful, helpless and violated by a video game in a long, long time.
« Last Edit: September 06, 2011, 12:08:36 am by Eric Blank »
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

acetech09

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Re: Share your examples of sadism code!
« Reply #2 on: September 06, 2011, 12:10:56 am »

When a siege like that goes on (which it has, elves, humans, goblins all sieging me nearly the same time), I just pull my fortress gate... I can live completely self-sufficiently underground and I like the challenge.

But the moment where the game screwed me over was when a goblin siege came, 3 out of the 5 squads were bowmen. I could handle one, sure. 2 would be a challenge, but 3 right next to each other proved to be really difficult.
« Last Edit: September 06, 2011, 12:13:06 am by acetech09 »
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Eric Blank

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Re: Share your examples of sadism code!
« Reply #3 on: September 06, 2011, 12:15:50 am »

Well, I for one had been sealed in for several years prior. I even had a dodge-pit trap set up when I opened the gates, which killed about as many of my dwarves as anything else... Basically I wanted to control the surface, protect migrants and caravans, and set up further defenses. There was simply no time or dwarf-power for any of that, though.
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Girlinhat

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Re: Share your examples of sadism code!
« Reply #4 on: September 06, 2011, 01:18:50 am »

In adventure mode, I was playing as a "wolf-morph" which is a slightly modified version of the "animal people" creature variant.  Anyways, I was running around as a grand master wrestler, able to grab anything by the throat, strangle it, and then bite it in the head.  Sometimes have to wrestle off the helmet to bite, but that's not difficult.

Anyways, so I get done with all the wolves and bandits and whatnot, and the lawspeaker sends me to kill a blind cave ogre.  I finish it off same as ever, and only take one hit during the whole battle.  I report my success, and realize that I'm crawling along at super-slow-mo speed.  I check, and I have one injury: my third toe right foot is broken.  An entire duel and I get one broken toe, and it reduces my speed to like 1/3, and the next adorable kobold ambush kills me because I'm slow as all christmas. -.-

Mitchewawa

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Re: Share your examples of sadism code!
« Reply #5 on: September 06, 2011, 01:25:09 am »

Got ambushed in adventure mode two travel-mode steps away from a dragon which I lost every single one of my men to.

Immediate crossbow bolt to the face. I just killed a dragon. I swear, no dignity in goblins.
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FoiledFencer

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Re: Share your examples of sadism code!
« Reply #6 on: September 06, 2011, 02:14:49 am »

Immediatly after a devastating goblin siege, my only legendary swordsdwarf was epicly battered to death for 89 pages of combat logs with a -Llama Wool Sock- by a giant that just happened to wander onto the map as she lay with a broken foot. The giant passed out several times from pure exhaustion but then gleefully continued to lay on the blows. While mounting a rescue operation for said dwarf, a forgotten beast (an ankylosauroid or something. Which breathed fire) comes and sets the entire cave-level on fire, effectively cutting the fortress in half as the adamantine-forges and armouries are now seperated from the rest of the fort by flaming mushrooms and the bellowing of primal rage. Then a pack of crundles escape from the fires by rushing up the stairs into the dining hall.

Cue the tantrums.
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thegoatgod_pan

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Re: Share your examples of sadism code!
« Reply #7 on: September 06, 2011, 04:39:39 am »

Kobold camp with a perfectly functional dodge-em trap 15-zs up and danger room, which kills damn near every kobold that goes into it (no shoes!), but with patience produces a team of legendary fighters capable of killing any goblin (provided they ever have to--see dodge-em trap).  Something like 50 kobolds die between the construction and the danger room, breathe sign of relief--I'm safe!

Cue arrival of six legged coyote--a desert titan.  beware its deadly blood.  Militia meets it on the dodge-em, and forces it to jump off by attacking it. Coyote drops, splatters blood everywhere, drags itself right up back to the stairs, bleeds to death.

Then everyone else bleeds to death, mostly from the feet (no shoes!!!)
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MarcAFK

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Re: Share your examples of sadism code!
« Reply #8 on: September 06, 2011, 06:27:20 am »

Kobold camp with a perfectly functional dodge-em trap 15-zs up and danger room, which kills damn near every kobold that goes into it (no shoes!), but with patience produces a team of legendary fighters capable of killing any goblin (provided they ever have to--see dodge-em trap).  Something like 50 kobolds die between the construction and the danger room, breathe sign of relief--I'm safe!

Cue arrival of six legged coyote--a desert titan.  beware its deadly blood.  Militia meets it on the dodge-em, and forces it to jump off by attacking it. Coyote drops, splatters blood everywhere, drags itself right up back to the stairs, bleeds to death.

Then everyone else bleeds to death, mostly from the feet (no shoes!!!)
Maybe Mod in some shoes next time? i'm sure that's ok, kobolds can use leather too.
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They're nearly as bad as badgers. Build a couple of anti-buzzard SAM sites marksdwarf towers and your fortress will look like Baghdad in 2003 from all the aerial bolt spam. You waste a lot of ammo and everything is covered in unslightly exploded buzzard bits and broken bolts.

Pukako

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Re: Share your examples of sadism code!
« Reply #9 on: September 06, 2011, 07:32:28 am »

Immediatly after a devastating goblin siege, my only legendary swordsdwarf was epicly battered to death for 89 pages of combat logs with a -Llama Wool Sock- by a giant that just happened to wander onto the map as she lay with a broken foot. The giant passed out several times from pure exhaustion but then gleefully continued to lay on the blows. While mounting a rescue operation for said dwarf, a forgotten beast (an ankylosauroid or something. Which breathed fire) comes and sets the entire cave-level on fire, effectively cutting the fortress in half as the adamantine-forges and armouries are now seperated from the rest of the fort by flaming mushrooms and the bellowing of primal rage. Then a pack of crundles escape from the fires by rushing up the stairs into the dining hall.

Cue the tantrums.

Epic poetry!

My worst example was at the end of a fort's life, when the magma was flowing from the fortress entrance, the goblins besieging, dwarves dying in droves, being attacked by their pet chickens, etc.

Then the last remaining militia dwarf went berserk and killed or chased off all the goblins. Unfortunately all that was left was the legendary axdwarf, and an insane manager, both outside, amongst the corpses.  The manager started strangling the axdwarf, who had two broken arms or something. 

46 pages of strangulation, both dwarves passing out, recovering, continuing, while the magma set the entire map on fire.  Finally a goblin siege turned up, took one look, and then left again.  I quit when the FPS dropped below 5.
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Tiruin

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Re: Share your examples of sadism code!
« Reply #10 on: September 06, 2011, 07:40:22 am »

Planning on making an adventurer rest home in a haunted biome. Armed with only marble blocks and about 100 units of drink and food, we set out and embark in a 2x2 fort making the FPS rocket to the heavens. Hilarity ensues. <Genesis Mod>

Spring 101
First we lay down the walls and floor, that works well until a couple of harpies show up. I draft the starting seven into a wrestling squad, it works well. Nearly finishing the armory and decorative items for my adventurer and lucky us, Ogres! I draft them again and end up slaughtering the monsters only ending up with one of them losing an arm. We continue in peace.
Summer 101
Hello migrants! The first floor is complete with statues, a library, the armory and the bedroom. Now the roof. I also planned a nice dungeon so I dig down into the first cavern layer. Soon after I get hit by a trio of gargoyles. I'm happy with how my dwarves are, experienced fighters now so I draft them all and charge at the beasts. Ending up with one dying from suffocation. Soon after, I get rabbits  :-\ spewing from the stairway to the cavern. Also, some wicked spiders come forth and spew their beautiful webbing on the things only to be handled by my dwarves. No losses somehow.
Autumn 101
More migrants! 24 in all now. Just a week after the first autumn leaf, I get a forgotten beast! A winged silverfish with deadly spittle, yay. It rushes through the stairwell and demolishes my armory, and librarium before I could give any orders (damn high FPS). I end up wrestling or punching it to death with all my dwarfy brethren, losing about 2 in exchange. This soon follows by a Giant gargoyle attack, complete with goblin & kobold thieves. One dies here. A trio of Ogres and a couple of harpies come two weeks after that. I wonder now why I made the rest home white when three of the four corners are coated red. We manage to kill neutralize the threat ending up with 15 near Legendary fighters/wrestlers. And here is when the first floor & roof complete with inner bedrooms/dining hall and dungeon path was finished. The statues decorating the hallway into the dungeon depict scenes of battle from what happened above. Somehow, this never happens in my other evil biome forts...

Sorry I took a lot of space here, just couldn't believe all that happened in three seasons in your first year. I didn't bother looking at the combat reports as the first monster that died has about 30 before even getting close to death. Also, ghosts now inhabit the rest house but somehow they disappeared when my adventurer settled in...
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Corneria

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Re: Share your examples of sadism code!
« Reply #11 on: September 06, 2011, 03:43:08 pm »

Glacier/Volcano embark. Happily preparing to embark and begin my fort. The game wasn't going to stand for it.
My dwarves park their wagon near the edge of the volcano. As usual with volcanoes, there is a cave-in right at the start. The portion which fell in was the ledge on which 5 of my dwarves were sitting. Wooooo. My remaining two dwarves cry as they try to survive with out any picks or any means of getting one. But apparently the game wasn't done with me, as it made very clear when one of my dwarves had a mood.
I'm sure you can guess the rest.
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zombat

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Re: Share your examples of sadism code!
« Reply #12 on: September 06, 2011, 04:04:05 pm »

It was a macabre mood, he made an artifact dwarve bone ring, decorated with spikes of dwarf hide and rings of dwarf nail
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plynxis

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Re: Share your examples of sadism code!
« Reply #13 on: September 06, 2011, 04:30:09 pm »

just posted about this on another thread about wall-ins

in an older fort i was just figuring out how not to die to sieges, so i discovered how to wall-in and made a 10x10 trap grid at my entrance (i even made a thread about it, i loved that one) with spears and serrated blades. even had a flush pump to remove the body parts so that my serrated blades could get cleaned without dwarf assistance. after that was like 5 lines of 10 cages each. and a retracting bridge. i was pretty safe.

no military to be found, didnt need it. didnt know how to work it. didnt know about danger rooms.

so sieges begun at some point. i just ran inside and closed my bridge. they ran into my traps, were blown to pieces or perforated or caught and i ended up winning sieges without moving a muscle. great - tons of bones, metal armor and socks to sell. it felt like i had solved sieges forever and discovered a fountain of free stuff.

more sieges came but they didnt always attack straight up. sometimes the trolls died fast and the goblins just stayed back.

then caravans came. when the first one died to goblins i was really happy i'd be getting a fuckload of free stuff. but i was just beginning to feel the pain.

naturally i had a bajillion dwarves. cue the long-distance hauling. cue the save-scumming when ambushes happened while i was hauling. at some point i notice my fps is so low i'm spending 75% of my time just watching whats going on, doing nothing but looking at the screen. more sieges, more stuff. even more savescumming, trying to figure out if its safe to let out the merchants, who've almost gone berzerk in my fort after seasons of staying at the depot just to pick up the stuff i gave them. again and again praying that them leaving the map will take the lag with it.

then a siege comes and kills the caravan while its leaving - carrying the stuff the previous caravan was holding, the stuff all the dead goblins and trolls were holding and the stuff i had to throw away. the stuff is so much that for more than a year (maybe years even - it was like limbo) all my dwarves did was haul and all i did was watch.

then i had to haul ~10k stone to an atom smasher (thats when i discovered them). years and years and years went by at 13-15 fps doing nothing but hauling and hauling and hauling...

that was all i did for days - go to class, try to get df unstuck mostly by waiting and watching so that alerts and other events (frequent enough to require constant watching, infrequent enough in a slow game to make it painfully boring) don't stop the game as at below 15 fps, every second counts. it was slow torture, like trying to push up a huge ball of turd up a hill, while trying to polish it - and every time you get a bit closer, a chunk falls off.

Purgatory
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Malarauko

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Re: Share your examples of sadism code!
« Reply #14 on: September 06, 2011, 04:41:59 pm »

6 forgotten beats in a row. My militia kill them all and every time my heart is in my mouth waiting for one of them to wipe me out. After the 6th one nothing comes for ages. Then a year later maybe.... syndrome. Causes necrosis and death and vomiting and heavy bleeding. My doctors are among the first to die trying to stem the flood of deaths. Out of 300 dwarves 50 die and the rest go almost completely beserk. I seal off 100 in a safe zone and the militia basically has to cull the crazy infected beserkers trying to keep them back from the areas i'm walling off as I go. At this point I think i've just about got a handle on the situation when a titan shows up smashes its way in and destroys the door keeping the infected out. My whole fort just collapsed inwards into a heap of vomit covered blood-pus with forgotten beast extract sauce. It was pretty awesome because my militia essentially died one by one in crazy last stands against goblins, the titan, other dwarves and elf and human ambushes. Yeah. That was Spearhalls the Armored Radiant Bane-Abbey of Demons. My second fort, my biggest to date (although my fourth Tombscars was much more impressive because it got a huge run of no invasions or attacks and allowed me to set the place up really well).
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Dwarf Fortress - Losing is fun.
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