"Melissa, let's make you an actual mad scientist!" You point dramatically to the sky.
She seems completely shocked. Melissa's mouth opens and closes, and then she screams "YES!" for a very long time. You now have a lab assistant! You split hundreds of cores apart, creating all avenues of research. The 1p coins become solid gold 50% of the time, and the rest is just plain random. Same with fruit bits and other stuff. Seems like the research is heading somewhere. 50% of the time it creates an obvious improvement, but the rest is just dodgy. You finally have an idea. You add a paradox core to another paradox core. Something sparks, however, and it consumes Melissa in a bright yellow electrical stream. When the smoke clears, she seems to be very improved, both physically and mentally. She can punch through plaster and read books in seconds while memorizing them. You call these the Black Hole Cores, very unstable but highly useful.
Right, first things first, you need to make money. Yakuza lightening never strikes twice, so you need a way of making money. Using your youtube account, you upload videos of never-made movies, such as an animated adaption of Neil Gaiman's the Graveyard Book, Corruption In The Mainframe (A tale of a suddenly sentient virus who slowly falls in love with the owner of a computer he has infected) and those good Uwe Boll films. You have to wait a while, but you'll probably get an advertising deal in no time. While you are at it, you decide that learning about how you can date an anthro without offending her. The best guide you can get has this extract.
"Tip 234: Cat related puns should be avoided or you'll be thought as racist.
Tip 235: Anthros have three common species. One is based off of birds, one is based off cats (The most common) and the other based off various breeds of dogs. The dog Anthros are the most aggressive due to their nature, but can be quite loving. Bird Anthros are pretty free-spirited and Cat Anthros can be cold, but that's not exactly a common trait.
Tip 236: Warning, dog Anthros do not really get the concept of personal space. If she or he decides that cuddling up to you on the first date is fine, go along with it."
Okay, that seems pretty easy. One of the main points was to use expressions and body language to convey messages more then you would usually do. Melissa doesn't really use her body, but maybe she is just raised differently. Looks like the money is coming in, you know how to date your latest lab assistant and everything seems fine.
Melissa goes home after a hard day's work, and you are probably going to bed as well. Drifting off on the sofa, you can faintly hear beeping on your door. It blasts open, causing the door to slam against the wall. A man walks in wearing a strange uniform with a shotgun. He mutters something into his radio and aims the shotgun squarely at you, and then points to the door.
Money: £220
Lab: Basement Three-room Apartment (Bedroom, Living Room/Kitchen and Bathroom)
Madness: Hands are shaking and head is pounding
Lab Assistant: Melissa The Cat Person
Test Subjects: 0
Currently Working On: Finding Out How This Damn Telly Works And Protecting Against Negative Stuff Completed: 70%
Completed Projects: 6
Items:
Build-It-Yourself Model
Broken Plastic Container
Trench Shovel
Paradox Cores x120
Author
Topic: Experimentation: It Finally Works! (Read 4768 times)