Ok so I started in a nice peaceful area with a draw running down from a mountain and a river at the bottom of the draw.
Things were going great! I had stable farms with plenty of food and drink. I had my sheep resources, a hospital, living area all built. I had reached self sufficiency! I even started getting a pump going to get magma up to a closer z-level so I could build some nice magma workshops to get steel and better weapons. Having only iron weapons was getting old.
Then guess who decided to come to dinner. Os Lisidatast Kesting Shis, a Bronze Colossus. Having only iron weapons and crossbows I figured WTH I'll give it a try and see what happens.
Here's a little story to describe it.
Oddom Nicatingiz hated patrol duty. He hated it so much it made him want to puke, or was that the ale he drank before going on patrol Oddom couldn't decide. Suddenly Oddom's war dog Lorbam started barking. Then Oddom heard it, a loud thump thump thump. Oddom wondered if he was getting a hangover, then the ground began to shake. Oddom looked up and saw a huge bronze head appear over the trees and two huge hands grabbed the closest tree by the branches and ripped it from the ground.
"TO ARMS, TO ARMS, INVADER IT'S A ... UH... it's a... BIG BRONZE THING"
Oddom ran to keep the Colossus from killing his friends. The Colossus barely even noticed as Oddom smashed his war hammer against the monster's big toe.
Lucky for Oddom his squad buddies were close at hand. You could hear the clang of iron against bronze for miles. Within a short time the marksdwarves showed up and started firing bolts at the huge bronze beast. The sound of pinging bolts, clanging iron, and denting bronze was like someone had fallen down a flight of stairs while carrying all of the cooking pans and utensils from the kitchen.
Inside the fortress Mayor Zas Besmarritas knew he was in trouble. Screaming over the clanging din and seeking out his Manager Zas moved as quickly as his legs would carry him.
"LOR, LOR GET YOUR MECHANICS TO WORK FINISH THOSE TRAPS!"
"Mayor, what are you talking about? You just told me to build them."
"Get them built now! If that thing gets past our army we're doomed."
"Oh, I'll find Morul and Urist right now!"
"Hop too it Lor, our lives depend on it."
Running away Zas gave the alarm for all civilians to gather in the dining hall.
Lor ran to find Morul and Urist. Morul was the first mechanic he found. Morul was hauling a huge zinc cage down the main hallway.
"Morul, hurry up we're in danger!"
"What are you talking about Lor? This damn cage is heavy and I've only got one foot, damn goblins."
"You have to build that cage NOW! If that big bronze thing gets inside our home he's going to put his bronze fist into your head and you won't have to worry about how many feet you've got."
"Yeah right, our army will make shreds of that thing."
"Look I don't have time to argue, just hurry up"
Lor ran off to find Urist. On the way down the main stairs Lor found Urist hauling a huge mechanical device struggling with the weight.
"Urist, hurry up if that thing gets past our army we're doomed."
"Yes sir, I know sir, I'm working as fast as I can."
Urist didn't feel so good, the egg roast he had for breakfast felt like it was coming back up and the ale was wearing off.
Back at the battle Mafol was becoming disappointed, two of his soldiers had the audacity to go and die on him what slackers. After that thought Mafol didn't think about much other then the huge bronze fist that was suddenly where his heart was.
Cilob knew something was wrong as he peered down the sights of his crossbow. His friends would never take a nap when there was a good fight to be had. Then Cilob glanced away from his sights to get a better picture of the battle and saw all the blood. Realizing that he didn't want his blood spattered all over the Prickle Berry bushes, Cilob opted for the better part of valor.
"Come on guys lets move to the main hall, that way this thing will be right in front of us and we won't have to run all over the place to shoot it." Cilob's squad members agreed they knew on the way to the main hall they could drink some beer.
In the main hall Urist and Morul were just finishing setting up the traps at the entrance.
"How goes the fight" Urist asked.
"Well enough, we figured better to shoot here in the hall" replied Cilob
"That way we don't have to chase the damn thing all over the place" Cilob added.
"Sounds like a good idea, you could even have a few beers with me and Mafol as you shoot that thing. I sure hope these cages work. First one I've ever setup"
"First one you've ever setup?"
"Well yeah, nobody ever asked for a cage trap before. These damn Elvin zinc cages are heavy too."
The friendly banter was interrupted by small bits of mudstone dust from the ceiling as the stomping of the Colossus approached. Suddenly the noise stopped, and then stared again. Only now the noise was moving away.
Cilob looked at Morul, Morul looked at Urist, and Urist looked at his empty mug.
"Is it running away?" asked Morul.
"No it sounds like it's heading to the trash dump." replied Cilob.
"We should go look."
"I'm not going out there." interjected Urist
"It's my job, I'll go." Cilob said.
Peeking around the corner of the entrance Cilob could see what had distracted the Colossus. On the ground was a little kitten, dirty from the trash, rolled over on its back. The Colossus was pounding it on the head. Celob couldn't believe his eyes. Over and over the Colossus hit the cute little fur ball and the kitten just rolled over and looked cute. The Colossus continued to pound the kitten.
The Colossus realizing that hitting the kitten in the head was ineffective and decided to kick the kitten instead. Cilob watched as the tiny little kitten sailed over the trash heap, over the river, over the trees and fell on the other side of the draw. "Poor kitty, it never stood a chance" noted Cilob.
The Colossus, not satiated by the killing it had accomplished so far, looked up for its next target. Noting more cats around the trash pile the Colossus decided that the kittens had no right to live anymore and began to chase them.
Cilob crept back to his squad, as Morul and Urist headed down to the still to find more ale.
"The damn thing is chasing the cats." Cilob told his squad. "What a bastard", "stupid beast", "better them then me", "I waned to kill it" was heard from the squad.
Cilob thought he heard the bells of an approaching Elvin caravan in the distance.
"Damn tree huggers always pick the worst time to show up."
Suddenly one of the cage traps down the hall made a clanging noise. Cilob looked down the hall and saw a small goblin in troll skin clothing in one of the traps; he had the look of a pedophile and was drooling.
"Serves you right, trying to sneak in here and steal our children!" Cilob yelled at the Snatcher.
"Me be good, me not take little squishy, me run away" the Goblin Snatcher whined.
"No I don't think so. You're going to be in that cage for a very, very, long time."
"Me be good, me shine dwarf shoos, me clean chamber pots"
"I'll let the Mayor make the decision. Enjoy your stay in the cage."
Cilob's jaw dropped, he couldn't believe his eyes. Coming down the hall was the tree hugger caravan. Somehow they had managed to walk right past the Colossus. Cilob watched stunned as the Elves went to the trade depot and began to unload their goods.
"Might be a while before Momuz, our broker gets here guys." Cilob told the elves.
"It usually is." the head Elf Merchant replied.
"Might be longer then usual."
"Why, what's going on?"
"Didn't you see that huge bronze thing out there chasing cats?"
"Oh is that what that thumping sound is?"
"Yeah he's already killed some of my friends"
"I'm sorry to hear that, I hope they're in a better place"
"Is that some sort of insult on my home?"
"Oh no not at all, I'm just hoping that the Dwarves heaven is as nice as the Elvin one"
"Better be better"
The merchant not wanting to anger the dwarf turned back to unloading his goods.
For the next few days the Dwarves huddled in the meeting hall, drinking ale and eating egg roasts. The Colossus continued to stomp around outside trying to catch and kill every cute little kitten and stray dog it could find. The stomping noises never ceased. The noise would get louder and quieter punctuated only by the occasional mew or yelp from dying stray animals.
And that's where I had to save and stop playing to write this.
I LOVE THIS GAME!
tl:dnr
I built a nice fortress. I only had iron weapons. A Bronze Colossus showed up, killed some of my dwarves. I ran my dwarves inside and let the Colossus run around outside. Then I saved the game to do other stuff.
Author
Topic: My introduction to DF. (Long Story) (Read 396 times)