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Author Topic: What are the chances of that?  (Read 5300 times)

JoshBrickstien

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What are the chances of that?
« on: August 30, 2011, 05:35:19 am »

I just received a Legendary Immigrant into my fortress. Fantastic! I've always wanted a Legendary.....
Animal Caretaker? Really? The RNG hates me.
Any ideas on how to honor this incredible citizen? Something with a level of irony, if you would.
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Edit: OH GOD, THE LEATHERS ARE MULTIPLYING WHENEVER I SLEEP.

Kraos

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Re: What are the chances of that?
« Reply #1 on: August 30, 2011, 05:47:22 am »

make a private room for him.
make a 3x3 room with fortified walls in the middle and one pressure pad that activates at a grown dogs weight.
put a puppy in the fortified room so it looks like a cage in the middle of the room.
hook up pressure plate to magma.
once the puppy reaches maturity it will trigger the pressure plate.
make him watch as the dog slowly grows to maturity and floods him with magma.
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JTH

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Re: What are the chances of that?
« Reply #2 on: August 30, 2011, 05:50:07 am »

I just received a Legendary Immigrant into my fortress. Fantastic! I've always wanted a Legendary.....
Animal Caretaker? Really? The RNG hates me.
Any ideas on how to honor this incredible citizen? Something with a level of irony, if you would.

If you happen to have any cage traps nearby, place one out in the middle of a field or just somewhere out in the wilderness. As if compelled, animals will walk right into the cage and become bewildered at how that ten foot giant badger could fit in a three foot tall ashen cage.

After one or more wild animals are caught, place their cages within a small 5x5 room (or any size, make it an arena if you feel like it). Build a single lever inside that room and connect it to all the animal cages. Get your caretaker into the room (through military stationing or some other more creative method) and lock the door. Bonus points if you go "Casque of Amontillado" on him and build a wall of clay brick in place of the entrance. Order the lever to be pulled and watch as he unwittingly unleashes a hoarde of "adorable animals" to murder his ass. He'll still be doing his job though, since the dwarf-meat will sustain the animals for a while.
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IcarusOne

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Re: What are the chances of that?
« Reply #3 on: August 30, 2011, 06:08:22 am »

Either catch, cage, and then dump untamed wild animals on him in a tiny room, or keep him in an 1x1 room with all your war animals till they have finally bitten him to death. Or created a super soldier.
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Number4

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Re: What are the chances of that?
« Reply #4 on: August 30, 2011, 07:02:29 am »

Either catch, cage, and then dump untamed wild animals on him in a tiny room, or keep him in an 1x1 room with all your war puny (cats, chickens) animals till they have finally bitten pecked and scratched him to death. Or created a super soldier.
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Thanks for the suggestion, but Number4 is correct: [...] it would be easier and more predictable to just be a racist.

Did somebody just rule 34 two veins of metal?

ThatAussieGuy

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Re: What are the chances of that?
« Reply #5 on: August 30, 2011, 10:22:16 am »

You should see the one I got  - a Legendary Fish Cleaner.  In a fort with no fishing industry at all.  He "unfortunately" got stuck in the barrel of my emergency magma surface release just as a test-firing occurred.  Such an unlucky coincidence...

EveryZig

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Re: What are the chances of that?
« Reply #6 on: August 30, 2011, 11:24:59 am »

or keep him in an 1x1 room with all your war animals till they have finally bitten him to death. Or created a super soldier.
This is what I was going to suggest. It is a win/win situation. I suggest you do it by dumping him in a 1x1 hole and pitting the animals in. It he seems to be getting decent combat skills, drop in food and booze so he doesn't starve.
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Mechanixm

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Re: What are the chances of that?
« Reply #7 on: August 30, 2011, 01:35:26 pm »

Uncheck Animal Caretaking... +1 member to Hauler team.

acetech09

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Re: What are the chances of that?
« Reply #8 on: August 30, 2011, 01:53:32 pm »

I once got a legendary fisherdwarf.

I started a fishing industry just for him.
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Kaleb702 Games

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Re: What are the chances of that?
« Reply #9 on: August 30, 2011, 03:29:26 pm »

Is it not more Dwarfy to have to suffer through him eating everything and being useless?
Oh, wait, there's no magma in that.

Make him a miner and have him breach the circus.
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Oliolli

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Re: What are the chances of that?
« Reply #10 on: August 30, 2011, 10:44:40 pm »

Did you stop to think of the pick's feelings?
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Girlinhat

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Re: What are the chances of that?
« Reply #11 on: August 30, 2011, 10:47:34 pm »

See: Dwarven Child Care.

Lock him in a 1x1 room with several tamed animals.  They'll get mad an fight him.  He'll either die or become a legendary soldier.  Either way, dump him outside when the next siege comes.

ThatAussieGuy

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Re: What are the chances of that?
« Reply #12 on: August 31, 2011, 02:22:40 am »

See: Dwarven Child Care.

Lock him in a 1x1 room with several tamed animals.  They'll get mad an fight him.  He'll either die or become a legendary soldier.  Either way, dump him outside when the next siege comes.

Better yet, lock him in a 1x1 cell with one side being a floodgate leading outside.  The moment something !!Fun!! comes, you can just let him out to show how much he's learned.

JoshBrickstien

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Re: What are the chances of that?
« Reply #13 on: August 31, 2011, 03:23:01 am »

Great suggestions, but I think I've found the perfect use for him. If he survives, he can be imprisoned with tame war animals. For now, I think I'll let him carve the fortifications in the side of the volcano to allow the magma to flow down my heating channels for the river during the winter. I'll update if he survives.
Edit: Despite my best efforts, he survived. He escaped the channels as magma poured to keep up, just as the masons sealed the exit. Well played, Caretaker. Onto the animals, I suppose...
« Last Edit: August 31, 2011, 04:05:38 am by JoshBrickstien »
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Edit: OH GOD, THE LEATHERS ARE MULTIPLYING WHENEVER I SLEEP.

Mitchewawa

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Re: What are the chances of that?
« Reply #14 on: August 31, 2011, 05:21:03 am »

Put him on a raise-able bridge outside.
Launch him like a catapult.
Record his splattered body cartoonishly splayed across the side of a mountain.
Post pix.
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