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[Stargrasper]

There is so much wrong with this thread now....

I'm not a believer.  I joined a Christian group at my university after a friend asked me to.  The group, church, everyone associated has been very good about encouraging me.  But they understand something that your mother does not.

You cannot force God upon an individual.

Being a Christian isn't about going to church, paying the tithe, reading the Bible, or even praying.  My understanding is that being a Christian is about building and growing in your relationship with God.  Many of the other things will come naturally as part of growing in your relationship with God.

I can't pick a random person off the streets and tell you two to become close.  That's crazy.  On the same token, I can't tell you to become close to God.  If it's something you want and are ready for, you will do that on your own.  Relationships of any sort cannot be forced, so why would it be possible to force a relationship with God?

Maybe you'll pursue this on your own.  Maybe you won't.  But you need to make it very clear that that is your decision and not hers.  She can advise and encourage you, but she cannot tell you what to believe.

PS - Read Romans.  Very shortly after I joined this Christian group, the first thing I was told to read was Romans, being told that it does a good job of explaining what it means to be a Christian.  It should give you some insights as to what she's thinking, or perhaps what she may be doing wrong.

Also, be careful of what Bible translation you're reading.  There are two ends of the spectrum; those that try to translate word for word the original Hebrew / Greek (ESV is pretty much the extreme end), and those that try to translate the meaning of the original (The Message being the extreme of this end).  That can actually get you into trouble in some discussions.  NIV is common and pretty much right in the middle of the spectrum.

[squeakyReaper]

Ok, this is very interesting.  Is the problem here that your mom suddenly turns her back on all her atheistic beliefs, or is the fact that she's trying to convert you as well that's the problem?

The first problem is that yes, she did suddenly do so.  I guess that's the whole point of having a sudden spout of inspiration, but it's rather jarring that it would happen over night.  I'm not sure how sincere it really is in that case...  the second is that now the kids praise God, go to church, etc.  I guess it'd be overstepping my role as "the big brother" to say that's wrong and harmful, but they're very impressionable little people.  I guess there's no gentle way to approach religion, but telling them something is an undeniable truth before they even know how to tell when someone is lying is...  I'm not satisfied, I guess.

You could also try mentioning it in passing to the people in your bible studies group or something. Don't rant like you did here, but just a remark in passing about how you're not sure about all this and are feeling pressured. With some luck, someone with a bit of standing in the community will have the sense to know that a forced conversion isn't wort one hundredth of a genuine one and could try to tell your mother.

Not really going to be pretending anything.  It's kind of an affront to religion as a whole, and all it stands for, to pretend to follow something just to influence people.  That's the reason a lot of people hate mass organized religion; they believe that some people were using it as a tool of war, which is only so many steps away from "using it as a tool to make people happy".  That includes counter-espionage, and I really don't think I could try to persuade people who are perfectly happy with their umm...  set of beliefs, I guess, unless they asked.  I don't think they go to church to become convinced and to debate, they come to hear what they want to hear.

Also, be careful of what Bible translation you're reading.  There are two ends of the spectrum; those that try to translate word for word the original Hebrew / Greek (ESV is pretty much the extreme end), and those that try to translate the meaning of the original (The Message being the extreme of this end).  That can actually get you into trouble in some discussions.  NIV is common and pretty much right in the middle of the spectrum.

The shiny, glittery bible I received is the NIV.  Just noticed that my mom wrote a quote in the inside cover...  "This book will keep you from sin or sin will keep you from this book."  Not sure where she got that from, but eh.  I'm guessing by her ~200$ expenses on a necklace and this book (and it's inscription) that she's convinced that I'll convert...  Also, the tithing thing and whatnot seems to be suggested by her church.  It's this thing called "the wave", where they have a lot of expensive stereo equipment, sell their worship sessions on dvds, and have celebrities visit.  They say all proceeds go back in to the church, or to charity, but I have no way of contradicting that statement.

[ed boy]

One thing; I've been reading this thread, and I haven't seen any mention of what particual branch of christianity she is into. Saying that she is christian does not say very much.

Other than that, I can't really do much else than reinforce some of what other people have been saying.

Make it clear that if you are going to become a christian, it is something that you are going to do on your own, not something that she can make you do.

Also, I would advise against trying to meet her halfway. She could very easily get the wrong idea (that what she is doing is converting you), and that could make your situation worse.

[squeakyReaper]

Oh, bugger.  I don't really know what branch.  It's not Jehovah's Witness, but that's all I got...  there's baptism, you're told to donate if possible (not mandatory), regular service each Sunday is vigorously suggested but uhh...  I dunno.  They have gay people that participate, so it's not one branch that condemns them.  I'll ask later.

[Hitty40]

I 40% Athiest 60% Satanist, but I'll help out.

I recommend talking to your mom, maybe saying that times are hard and that maybe she just needs to take a break from what she does: take a walk, go to a movie, something to take her mind off the troubles of taking care of the family and paying for collage.

[Fenrir]

I agree with what everyone else in this thread is saying: Whatever you do, don’t let her get any Christian on you. That stuff will never come out, so keeping it off you is top priority; your mother’s sanity is second.

[squeakyReaper]

I asked about the branch.  Apparently, it's evangelical. I...  Thought that was a derogatory term, not a sort of christianity, because I hear a lot of negative things about them.  This uhh... Does not help her case.

[PyroDesu]

I asked about the branch.  Apparently, it's evangelical. I...  Thought that was a derogatory term, not a sort of christianity, because I hear a lot of negative things about them.  This uhh... Does not help her case.

Ouch.

I do fervently hope that she sees once again how the church is not
 always a good thing.

Although I am beginning to wonder how bad my parents' sect, Methodism, is...

(My mother forced my beliefs into her limelight just a week or two ago. I was... tactfully avoiding the topic, because it was is awkward.

Also, has anybody else combed through Revelations? I did recently, and I found that, no, true believers are not going to heaven and everybody else can just go to hell, but rather the opposite: the wicked are leaving (!NOT UNBELIEVERS!) and the rest are staying on earth, where a new Jerusalem will rise.)

[MetalSlimeHunt]

I asked about the branch.  Apparently, it's evangelical. I...  Thought that was a derogatory term, not a sort of christianity, because I hear a lot of negative things about them.  This uhh... Does not help her case.

Nope, evangelicals are a form of Protestant Christianity. The big part of it is spreading Christianity to as many people as possible, hence the meaning of the word "evangelizing".

Fundamentalist isn't a derogatory term either, although it may be used as such by those critical of it.

[squeakyReaper]

Well, she's still somewhat analyzing it.  I pointed out to her (in a friendly way) that she was breaking her church's tenants.  One of their foundations, and possibly the largest one, is that the bible is completely true.  Down to the historical evidence, the moral lessons and the words of God and whatnot.  Buuuut.  The bible tells us to fast.  Her pastor person fasts, and so do other members of the church.  She doesn't understand it, so selectively doesn't do it.  Maybe she'll start visiting a different church.

[Willfor]

MetalSlimeHunt is correct in that Evangelical has been made a derogatory word, when in reality, the amount of denominations that fall into it is so broad as to be useless. It's a catch-all for a variety of denominations. I, for instance, fall into it.

Her pastor person fasts, and so do other members of the church.  She doesn't understand it, so selectively doesn't do it.  Maybe she'll start visiting a different church.

She doesn't have to. You're allowed to have beliefs of your own that conflict with the church you're attending, and this will only become a problem if they force the issue, or she does. Like I said with baptism, fasting is an outward expression of an inward process; You are denying your body for a purpose. It's part of a progression for some. I, myself, have never fasted. My father went on a specific fast (gave up a lot of foods like any sort of meat or luxury foods) for a period of two years. If you go into a fast for the sole purpose of showing other people that you're fasting -- without thinking that it's a good thing yourself -- you are essentially denying yourself for no reason. There are specific verses that touch on the fact that showing piety for the sake of pleasing others or your own ego is worthless effort.

Now, I'm not going to tell you that the church she's in is perfect for her. I'm just saying that there's no need to jump to conclusions.


Edit:

Although I am beginning to wonder how bad my parents' sect, Methodism, is...

Methodism has historically been very focused on the "do good things" message, and is very work oriented. They, more than most, believe that man is irreparably defective on his own, and that only God is a source of good. They also heavily believe in the free will of man, and give no credence to predestination. There have been a lot of Methodists who have gone on to build orphanages, gone out into the world to feed the hungry, and all these other nice things. The flip side is that they can be very demanding of their own membership to live up to these ideals, and salvation is often thought to be tied to just how good a person you can be in life. (yes, there are plenty of denominations where this is not as emphasised)

[PyroDesu]

Although I am beginning to wonder how bad my parents' sect, Methodism, is...

Methodism has historically been very focused on the "do good things" message, and is very work oriented. They, more than most, believe that man is irreparably defective on his own, and that only God is a source of good. They also heavily believe in the free will of man, and give no credence to predestination. There have been a lot of Methodists who have gone on to build orphanages, gone out into the world to feed the hungry, and all these other nice things. The flip side is that they can be very demanding of their own membership to live up to these ideals, and salvation is often thought to be tied to just how good a person you can be in life. (yes, there are plenty of denominations where this is not as emphasised)

So, not too bad, just a little more do-something centered.

[squeakyReaper]

Now, I'm not going to tell you that the church she's in is perfect for her. I'm just saying that there's no need to jump to conclusions.

That's a pretty sound statement, thanks.  I guess, if anything, we're beyond the age where people get burned as witches for slightly disagreeing with their patron church...  they can't really enforce things like these.  Was worth pondering though, I guess.

[Sergius]

I agree. I was baptised when I was a little kid because of tradition, but I was never "confirmated" (or whatever the rite is called in English), even though I was going to force myself through it for the presents at first. It just felt way to wrong to go down on my already strong opinions on that matter. No selling out for me!

Ugh... where I live, Catholicism is the official religion. Nearly everyone is catholic. I was never confirmatificated or whatever, but when I get married I'll have to do it (before next year) since my girl is catholic. It's such a PITA that I have to just go along with it even if it goes against my convictions.

The good part is that it's a really short process, and a lot of people go thru the motions (basically it's like a school test that you can't fail, after a week or so of meetings). But then if they start asking me if I believe in the one true savior legendary pokémon, I'm going to feel very annoyed.

[ChairmanPoo]

Genuinelly official, or just very popular?