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[olemars]

Some background first: I graduated university around four years ago. During the student years I had a decent social life and a comfortable circle of friends. Then we all went job hunting and got spread across the country. I moved to a city I had barely visited before and knew nobody in, but hey, interesting job and all.

So here I am, almost four years on, and still barely know anybody in this city apart from colleagues (which isn't that bad, and we do socialize a bit off work). I'm chronically bad at keeping in touch with old buddies, so I only have intermittent contact with most of them and pretty much lost contact with some. One got married this summer and I didn't even know.

At university it was easier to get to know people since I was around like-minded people all day without even trying. That's not the case when working 8-4 with the same handful of people every day and then going home.

I do have interests, but they're not automatically social ones. I go hiking (more now that I got a car too), I go to the gym, I read books and other typical stuff. This is largely because I'm not automatically social in any case. So what I'm trying to find is something to do that would encourage social contact as a natural side effect.

I've been looking around a bit but not really striking gold. I'm dreadful at team sports so that's out, and it's... uncomfortable to just jump into some sort of team-based thing were you don't know anyone in the first place. I've looked at various organisations, but they seem to be either for the very young or the very old. I'm neither. While I do find board games somewhat fun, I keep forgetting the rules and warhammer is beyond me. I'm not religious, so joining one of the numerous local sects won't work.

In short, I would love some pointers to maybe find some sort of activity that could get me more into social situations, and preferrably not have a too high bar to entry.

Oh, and it's late night when I'm writing this, so if none of this makes sense, ask and I'll try to clarify when less overtired...

[ed boy]

If you're a religious person, then you might want to look into activies organised by your local religous group, or if there are not any, organise some for yourself. Never mind, I'm bad at reading.

[Yoink]

Umm, he said he's not religious.
Well, maybe you could google search for a D&D (Or other RPG) group looking for new players, that's newbie-friendly?
Playing a character with others, working together to solve problems and such, is a good way to make friends.

[Sappho]

It's always easier to make friends in school than in the "real world." I'm also not a very social person, so I have this problem sometimes too. A few ideas have been suggested to me, I'll pass them on to you.

Take a class. It's still easier to make friends as students. It can be anything from Judo to cooking, but these situations are perfect opportunities to meet people with similar interests.

If you're interested in gaming, do as the above poster suggested and find a DnD group. Or just hang out at a local comic/gaming store or even a small bookstore. It's usually the same people in there all the time and eventually you'll naturally make friends.

Alcohol. This may not be the most responsible suggestion, but it works. Assuming you're old enough to drink, find a local club or bar that isn't too scary looking and have a few drinks. I never imagined myself in a club until someone dragged me there once, but I was surprised at how friendly a lot of people were and you can have really interesting conversations, and the alcohol makes it a lot less scary and stressful.

Smoking. Even less responsible than the above, and you shouldn't start if you don't smoke already, but if you do, asking someone for a cigarette or a lighter can start more friendly conversations than you can believe. I'm not a smoker myself, but I see this work for many of my friends all the time.

Find a local online community and post an ad saying you're looking for a new hiking partner or group (or use another interest if you prefer). Where I'm from, there were always people looking for someone to go hiking with, and newcomers were heartily welcomed.

The most effective way to make new friends is simply to talk to people, but I understand if that's tough for you (it is for me too). If you can find the courage to just walk up to people and say hello and ask them a random question, you'd be surprised the positive response you get.

Hope this helps. Good luck!

[shadenight123]

d&d groups.
or Vampire the masquerade/redemption.
or roleplaying in general.
groups usually have no qualms about adding new people. unless they are already filled to the brim (and even then, they usually split up some people who have more free time, and run you in) important thing is being willing to learn new systems.
and i second the "take a class" thing. or even go around the local library if you like reading, and try to strike up conversations...

[olemars]

Some interesting suggestions here. Thanks for replying.

I must admit I've never gotten into D&D or other live role playing, and it doesn't really tempt me much. There is a comic book / scifi / fantasy store in town though, and I have been there a couple of times to refuel my Pratchett collection and buy some weird movies. The staff there seems nice and friendly actually, so perhaps I should drop in more often.

Take a class. It's still easier to make friends as students. It can be anything from Judo to cooking, but these situations are perfect opportunities to meet people with similar interests.

This is an excellent idea. Just need to figure out some good classes/courses that fit me. I do need to get a small boat certificate at some point due to silly regulation changes.

Smoking. Even less responsible than the above, and you shouldn't start if you don't smoke already, but if you do, asking someone for a cigarette or a lighter can start more friendly conversations than you can believe. I'm not a smoker myself, but I see this work for many of my friends all the time.

I guess EU/EEA smoking laws haven't quite permeated into the Czech Republic yet?

Find a local online community and post an ad saying you're looking for a new hiking partner or group (or use another interest if you prefer). Where I'm from, there were always people looking for someone to go hiking with, and newcomers were heartily welcomed.

This could work. I also just signed up for a couple of organisations (one sort of hiking related, the other environmental) which might offer something worthwhile to do in my local area.

The most effective way to make new friends is simply to talk to people, but I understand if that's tough for you (it is for me too). If you can find the courage to just walk up to people and say hello and ask them a random question, you'd be surprised the positive response you get.

I can never seem to find situations where it feels natural to just start talking to a stranger. Then again, I often struggle with small talk even with people I know well.

[mainiac]

I made a lot of good friends doing community theater.  If you aren't artistically inclined, they are usually desperate for people to help on the technical and backstage stuff.  The question though is if you would enjoy the friendship of thesbians.

[DJ]

Try volunteering, if you don't mind socialising with hippies.

[eerr]

-Invent better reasons to talk to people?

You have none, not even a pretense.

Surely you have something you would like to know, or accomplish?


Unrestrain yourself for a minute.

[The Mechanical Man]

Find some groups online. For example, there might be a website for a hiking group or book club in your area. Stuff like that.

[Astral]

As Sappho said, and in my own experience, taking some form of extracurricular class or going to a club are some of the better ways to find new people and make friends. I've made numerous friends just from my years of taking martial arts. Clubbing is... interesting, if you've never done it before, but alcohol is always nice regardless. Think of it as a new experience and just take it from there.

Forgoing those options, craigslist or some similar website would do. Just remember to post under "strictly platonic" otherwise everyone and their grandmother will believe you're out to get some. And believe me, you don't want their grandmothers.

[Svarte Troner]

Buy me a 1 way ticket to Norway and I'll be your best friend forever.

Try volunteering, if you don't mind socialising with hippies.

Partial jokes aside, that was going to be my suggestion. Those damned hippies and their charitable acts.

[Sim9]

Just want to second the suggestions on taking classes, especially ones that are social/casual in nature.  I've had a lot of fun and met a bunch of cool people taking improv comedy classes

(This generally leads to the other suggestion... alcohol, but now you're in a group )

[Montague]

Well, I'm sure its probably occurred to you before, but going to local pubs and bars is one way to meet people. Or at least have antagonistic debates, play pool and inane conversations with drunk strangers, it can actually be a lot of fun and its nearly as awful as it sounds.

It might also be a non-option if you have to drive or take a taxi to a pub though.

[Nivim]

 As a "from the internet" suggestion, you might want to check if there are any upcoming geohashing meetups in your area (or geohashers waiting for a meetup). It tends to be a good at getting anywhere from a couple to a dozen people together who just happen to be interesting. If successful, remember to bring snacks or games to the meetup.