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[Zrk2]

So, let me get this right; Stworca is not only a Napoleon level general, but he can also make one of the shittiest nations ever and turn it around in three years?

I call shenanigans.

[NRDL]

Ah, Stworca, you never cease to make the rest of us look like idiots when it comes to Total War.  And we love you for it. 

I need a bit of help, Oh Mighty Stworca.  I have a game in BI ( haven't played it in a while, but I can hop right back in if I wanted to ) where I'm the saxons.  I tried to take out a single city faction, failed, savescummed, won battles against them, got backstabbed by other factions, including the two Roman empires, ( I think ).  They have sent their armies at me, I have pushed them all back so far, but every battle gives me casualties, dead soldiers that I can't replace.  My economy is crap, I have only one city, my army is rotting because I keep taking casualties and can't hire any new soldiers, and I have enemies surrounding me at all sides.

Nice scorched Earth strategy, unfortunately I can't do that, because i only have ONE [CENSORED] CITY!  I don't know how to disband buildings, I don't think I can disband my current army, or else I'll be too weak to repel any assaults.  From one commander to another, I need your help. 

[mainiac]

Very nice work.  The first few years of WRE are micromanagement hell, but once you get the peasant/sea trade renaissance going, things should go swimmingly!  I was surprised by a few of your choices.  I personally prefer to hold off attacking the celts a couple turns so I can build enough peasants to hold England without revolt, I like keeping my barracks there.  I also don't find it necessary to pull out of yugoslavia if you move your capitol north to Milan.  This is semi-historically plausible since the capitol was later moved to Ravenna.  On the other hand, it might just be asking for trouble from the ERE to have a border with them.  I generally disband the expensive elite troops in rome rather then send them north, advanced roman troops aren't much better then committes except for the siege equipment.  I think I might do more abandoning in spain then you do but it's been a while.  I tend to make use of mercenaries as fire brigade police force.  All of this is a bit more expensive and means that I need to economize on buildings.  But I find that I don't need to build christian shrines in as many locations and I usually delay building some of the less profitable docks until the checks clear.  I am also very surprised that you expand on pagan temples, as I think that's not a good investment since the stable course is towards religious uniformity.

[mainiac]

Ah, Stworca, you never cease to make the rest of us look like idiots when it comes to Total War.  And we love you for it. 

I need a bit of help, Oh Mighty Stworca.  I have a game in BI ( haven't played it in a while, but I can hop right back in if I wanted to ) where I'm the saxons.  I tried to take out a single city faction, failed, savescummed, won battles against them, got backstabbed by other factions, including the two Roman empires, ( I think ).  They have sent their armies at me, I have pushed them all back so far, but every battle gives me casualties, dead soldiers that I can't replace.  My economy is crap, I have only one city, my army is rotting because I keep taking casualties and can't hire any new soldiers, and I have enemies surrounding me at all sides.

Nice scorched Earth strategy, unfortunately I can't do that, because i only have ONE [CENSORED] CITY!  I don't know how to disband buildings, I don't think I can disband my current army, or else I'll be too weak to repel any assaults.  From one commander to another, I need your help.

As the saxons, you should start within spitting distance of the lightly defended rebel city of campus frisii in what is today the Netherlands.  That should make for an easy initial target.  After them, you should try to take out your fellow barbarians.  When you do, they will form a horde and go after the western roman empire.  Once the empire is mauled, you can swoop in.  Very often, barbarians will not defend their only city very well, meaning that if you use a spy on them, you can take them down with a single, surgical strike.

[Heron TSG]

This is fantastical. You are some kind of witch, Stworca.

[NRDL]

Ah, Stworca, you never cease to make the rest of us look like idiots when it comes to Total War.  And we love you for it. 

I need a bit of help, Oh Mighty Stworca.  I have a game in BI ( haven't played it in a while, but I can hop right back in if I wanted to ) where I'm the saxons.  I tried to take out a single city faction, failed, savescummed, won battles against them, got backstabbed by other factions, including the two Roman empires, ( I think ).  They have sent their armies at me, I have pushed them all back so far, but every battle gives me casualties, dead soldiers that I can't replace.  My economy is crap, I have only one city, my army is rotting because I keep taking casualties and can't hire any new soldiers, and I have enemies surrounding me at all sides.

Nice scorched Earth strategy, unfortunately I can't do that, because i only have ONE [CENSORED] CITY!  I don't know how to disband buildings, I don't think I can disband my current army, or else I'll be too weak to repel any assaults.  From one commander to another, I need your help.

As the saxons, you should start within spitting distance of the lightly defended rebel city of campus frisii in what is today the Netherlands.  That should make for an easy initial target.  After them, you should try to take out your fellow barbarians.  When you do, they will form a horde and go after the western roman empire.  Once the empire is mauled, you can swoop in.  Very often, barbarians will not defend their only city very well, meaning that if you use a spy on them, you can take them down with a single, surgical strike.

Believe me, I tried that.  Remember, I'm already at war with practically everybody around me.  If I attack one faction, the others will swoop in and kill me.  Im a decent tactician, I have fought off roughly equal sized armies, sometimes even larger armies, but I'm not that good. 

[mainiac]

Interesting.  Have you tried pre-emptively hording yourself?  If you have only one city, you can go to your capitol and decide to start a horde, giving you 3-4 stacks of decent troops that you keep until you take a new city.  England seems like a fitting target, although you need to watch out for the powerful Romano-British army that will appear when you take both settlements.  The roman navy is pretty weak around Britain so that shouldn't be too hard a target.  From there, you can conquer the celts (who don't horde) before moving south with a nice secure powerbase.

[Stworca]

Saxons can not turn into horde. This is why playing as Franks is so easy. You have a few indy cities around you, as well as two horde-less foes (Alemanni and Saxons).

What i would do.. hmm.. Ally yourself with burgundians, take the Indy city just west of your starting position. Trade Rights with everyone and their mom. Then wait for an opening.
The easiest target would be WRE, but you can only waltz in when They are in trouble. Rebellions or wars are required. You also can not afford any casualties at all. (This should be obvious though). Now, the Franks MAY attack you at some point. Taking them out is 'easy' but then They turn into a horde that will swoop north and raze everything. (Barbarians tend to swoop)
If you feel lucky you can take them out early, and hope that they attack someone other than you (It will only work if they are at WAR with someone else than you)

Alternatively you can limit yourself to one province on the mainland, and conquer Britain. The 4 provinces there are very easy to defend.. Until them R-B start appearing. Take the 2 celtic provinces first, build up, then take the rest and hope for the best against Romano-Brits.
In the main land Don't go too far south until all the horde business is resolved.

1. Very nice work.  The first few years of WRE are micromanagement hell, but once you get the peasant/sea trade renaissance going, things should go swimmingly! 2. I was surprised by a few of your choices.  3. I personally prefer to hold off attacking the celts a couple turns so I can build enough peasants to hold England without revolt, 4. I like keeping my barracks there. 5. I also don't find it necessary to pull out of yugoslavia if you move your capitol north to Milan.  This is semi-historically plausible since the capitol was later moved to Ravenna.  On the other hand, it might just be asking for trouble from the ERE to have a border with them. 6. I generally disband the expensive elite troops in rome rather then send them north, advanced roman troops aren't much better then committes except for the siege equipment. 7. I think I might do more abandoning in spain then you do but it's been a while.  I tend to make use of mercenaries as fire brigade police force. 8. All of this is a bit more expensive and means that I need to economize on buildings. 9. But I find that I don't need to build christian shrines in as many locations and I usually delay building some of the less profitable docks until the checks clear. 10. I am also very surprised that you expand on pagan temples, as I think that's not a good investment since the stable course is towards religious uniformity.

1. Thank You.
2. I was surprised that it worked!
3. Perhaps it's more 'stable' to do so, but with an army that we have there : standing around would be a waste. Besides, the looting money that early on means economic buildings made faster, Yay!
4. No need for it if you take out Celts right away.
5. I don't see us holding the hordes back in Yugoslavia. I will probably use the chokepoints in alps. Holding Yugoslavia means not only bordering ERE.. But it also means that hordes will curbstomp us sooner. I don't mean huns here. ALL of the hordes will go for us on VH (At least that's what i predict.. After playing Spain and all that..)
6. I will have the Rome garrison on the battlefront in the next turn. It would take much longer to build such units myself. It would also be more expensive. On their way they have strengthened a city or two for a bit, while i was doing my magic. (disbanding, peasanting etc.) I remember all the Hordes going after me when i was playing Franks, and i didn't ever hold Illyrian lands. I think Raxolans were the only eastern nation that didn't roam in Germany and Italy.
7. I thought about it, but Corduba is easy to hold, and the north province is required to win. These two are also profitable, and i like having an open road to strike Berbers from the north, should i want to.
8. Well.. I went with the fastest economical recovery route that i could think of.. And we still took out 4 provinces. I'm quite happy with the outcome, and can't see how we could be more aggressive. No matter how much money i would invest. We attacked with everything we could.
9. I'd rather deal with it early, this way : Whether the cities rebel or not, They will be christian. Once i retake Iberia and Carthago nova, they will all be christian (or close to christian, which is fine by me). The only thing i'll need to remember is picking a christian heir. Although i hope that our current emperor will live happily until we WIN.
10. It is a good investment for the next few turns. I need those extra 5% happiness. We will go all christian in a bit. Once our I-WIN crusader from the east conquers Aquincium. He has.. i believe.. 45% conversion by himself. 

I have the next 3 turns already played.. But as always, suggestions, questions and pies are welcome.
I guess the main question to the viewers that i have is regarding Aquincum. Holding it will lead to pain. But we like pain, don't we..? Hmm.

Stworca is not only a Napoleon level general

I WOULDN'T LOSE AT WATERLOO, LIKE THAT MIDG--  (You are too kind)
Also, 3 turns are 1,5 year.
I was lucky that the damn, useless peasant (Our beloved emperor) died in turn 2.

[NRDL]

That's the thing.  I try to ally with someone, they stab me in the back next turn.  The first time this happened, some faction to my east brought their army up and attacked my main ( I think it was my only ) city while my army was down south sieging some blue faction ( they were really hard to subdue too, so many general units ).  The bastards from the east demanded that I become their vassal, and I grudgingly accepted, thinking that this would probably automatically end my game.  Then the idiots decided to just f*uck it, and sieged me, despite me having practically surrendered.  But that was their mistake.  My "surrender" bought me an extra turn, enough time for my main ( and currently decomposing ) army to return, and with the help of the city garrison, drive back the intruders.

So yeah, every faction around me is a douchebag, but you're already used to that kind of behavior Stworca.  Remember, this is NORMAL MODE.  And another thing, I cannot fight a battle with no casualties.  At best, I lose around only 20-40 men, AT BEST.  Seriously, I should just restart the campaign, find a secluded area, and turtle the game from there.   

[Stworca]

Well 20-40 still counts as no casualties. "Casualty" is a unit getting wiped out.
Since the main land is so amazingly hostile, just turn your Saxons into Anglo-Saxons. Report back once you conquer the world! (Or at least britain!) You might as well 'move'. Sieging WRE cities in France, and should you get backstabbed home, abandon it and move fully to newly conquered lands.

mainiac seems to know more about Barb Invasion though, so he might give you a better advice.

[Stworca]

Spoiler: New possibilities (click to show/hide)

The next turn is a regular "We have expected all of it" outcome, with the Celtic town rebelling.


Also the 400 pop rebellious village in eastern Germany has declared what we expected it to.


I'm not going to retake any of them for a very long time, if i do at all.
We now should have 20 healthy provinces, and.. What.. 21?


Carthago Nova has revolted and joined our cause once again.. Nice. Let me disband the peasants and--- WHAT?! These units aren't totally and absolutely useless!


I wonder how stable is the city, with an enormous garrison (it is a very strong one). What do you think, viewer? Are you a fan of keeping Carthago Nova now? Yes?
Take a look at this then..


There is NO WAY we can hold it, and staying inside would only lead to pain. We do the smart thing and move the newly acquired army south. We will merge them with a group of archers from Corduba, aaaand..


You can already guess why i have left a spare ship floating around. No, i didn't count on CN rebelling with useful units. I did plan on saling to the Berbers though.
Before we do, a few turns will pass. For now we begin the siege of Aquincum. Our army has suffered some casualties, but we have a city nearby that can replace some of the losses. All from its starting garrison, which i now replaced with peasants. Win-win.


Now back to Britain. Eburacum was the name of the village that we have so easily abandoned. Now we will raze it to the ground, and then abandon again. Let us see how it's inhabitants will like the whole "raze it to the ground" part.


They don't, but They are useless troggs and die as such.
I did manage to take some neat screenshots though. Like this one.


Peasants fight with pitchforks, right? So what if we give them rank 3 weapons?
Do they get Adamantine Pitchforks of Cavalry Slaying +2?


Did you notice our unit of archers getting massacred? Me neither.


I've mentioned that i'm going to abandon Eburacum once again, did i not?
You may be asking "why?". I'm glad you did, Sunny Jim. Despite having the conquering army stationed there, and low taxes. They aren't exactly too happy about re-joining WRE.


Suit yourselves, damn Britons! We will keep razing you until you're happy!
We will TEACH THEM to be happy!
But before joyful slaughter begins anew, let us end the turn.
In the following year we are greeted with a curious message. Franks.. The damn, sneaky bastards that were about to raid our lands..  have told us to leave OUR border.


If not for the fact, that attacking your city will result in 5 stack army breaking my balls, i would END YOU.
In other news, our African army is sieging Carthago Nova. We hired some nice Cavalry Mercenaries (Nice because of the "Cavalry" part)


We also spot the first Berber army, heading for Carthage, no less.


Is Carthage well defended? It is. And it will have another 2 archer groups by the time they get to us.
..Or maybe i'll train some cavalry for rushing out to break the sieging army?


With Carthage well protected, and Berber army 3-5 turns away from THEIR city...
Aloha!


I just hope that Berbers can not form hordes. Although knowing my luck they can form a 20 stack strong one, with elephants, chariots, horse archers and robot squirrels.
At any rate. We abandon Eburacrum once again (no way of holding it just yet. In a few turns? Yes. They aren't christian enough)
What to do with our army?
Visit the Irish!


So.. We are attacking Berbers. Ireland (Back then, the Irish could still smoke in pubs). Retaking Carthago Nova. Retaking Aquincium and holding Franks in check with a large army. Booooring.
Let us go and wreck some shit north as well! SAXONS! Leave that crappy, mud-paved village! IT'S MINE!


Also : Siege of Aquincum is about to begin. And this time we are not facing peasants.

Spoiler: I should've sold them Barracks (click to show/hide)

I hate sieging stone-walled cities without onagers of spies.


BUT! We have prepared for two rounds, and allegedly will have a smooth run.


The two sap points will start working ASAP. The right tower will get to the wall ALSO ASAP. I will capture the right side towers and position my archers there. The left siegetower will hang around until needed. There are two strong infantry groups blocking it.


We are not going to approach the gate.
Not from the outside anyway..


If there were more defenders, i would spread the siege towers to attack the city from different directions.


But as it is, we don't need to worry! We WILL worry when sieging Byzantium though.


With the walls broken in two points, and a tower at a third. I have my archers start climbing up.


The rebells have to chose : Stop my archers at the walls, and allow me to waltz inside the two giant holes, or man the wall breaches and get massacred by the soon-to-be-placed-on-the-walls archers.
And while they think about the best option to pick, i capture their towers.


Also, i toss them javelins. It's raining pilas!


What's up with our left siege tower? Well.. It's still just standing there. It's another win-win situation for me.
The rebells have to chose : Reinforce their troops at the right side, and let me capture their gate and towers completely..
Or hold my second tower at bay.. and let their friends die.


While They decide, i keep hurling my javelins. This time from the walls. Its super effective.


There is only a few of them left. It is time to waltz inside.


There is just one problem. The enemy general (remember, They can WRECK OUR SHIT!) has over 80 units in his group. He is breaking the group i've sent through the middle breach.


Then again, i have planned it all from the start. It could be no other way.


Encirclements are fun, because They lead to many people dying in agony! Yay!
Have one more view at the massacre, then we will need to move on.


A few things are happening on the next screenshot.
First of all, the units from the left side are finally moving to greet me in the field.
This has caused me to move my tower to the walls. I doubt that it will be fast enough to participate, but who cares!


I move my infantry to engage (break) the enemies, while my cavalry is moving to the center of the town to capture it.


You can tell by the hourglass, that i am taking my sweet time here. I always do during sieges. People get impatient during sieges. They make mistakes. They die.


Besides, i have this warm, fuzzy feeling when i imagine how the enemy general is considering his options. ALL of them leading to disaster.


Then again, this is VH. Their units decimate mine no matter what i do. 300 deaths.. I mean what the hell! Many of them are cavalry!

Spoiler: Finishing touches (click to show/hide)

I hate sieging cities. I like defending them though. It goes all the way back to "Stronghold".
Come to think of it i always preferred to be the one reacting. Jedi Academy, FPS, strategy.. The only exception were MMO's.
Hmm.. The city seems awfully happy.


Just look at it, Sunny Jim!


Now the city is simply too valuable to simply drop. Which leads to a slight problem. We have exterminated the population, which means that the next level of walls (requirement to stop them hordes) is unavailable. I will need to ship some peasants there.
And by some i mean 10 thousand. It all comes down to "How long will it take, before the first horde appears".
But first! Let us re-train our army.


As an added bonus, let us siege Lepcis Magna.


I was tempted to auto battle it. But auto battling leads to severe loses, piles of dead soldiers, and hearing loss.
They do have a general unit after all. We don't do anything too fancy. Just your regular tri-break wall tactic.


Followed by "Sucks to be you"


And another ridiculous results table. Enemy generals weren't this tough in the vanilla. Or maybe it's the comissares that are terrible and overpriced? Probably both!


Remember how i've planned on leaving Lepcis Magna alone? Well, i didn't expect that we'll siege Berbers so soon. This changes everything. Assuming that hordes will at least declare war on BYZ, we will advance in Africa and take all their valuable provinces.
But this is a song of the future. For now we have a city to gove--
They are happy!


I don't like this Berber diplomat though. He may bribe my army and really set me back. After all, AI has half a billion gold pieces each. It is only us that start with 1000 denarii. How else would you explain the fact, that they bought our maps for 2 grand each?
Speaking of people who bought our maps for 2 grand.. Our Anne Frank army is ready to DO something!


Remember how i've said, that Franks can form a horde when defeated?
Well.. Fuck that!


COME AT ME, BRO!
..too cheesy? I wonder...

I've made some moves, but as always, i'm open to suggestions. I don't plan on wiping the Franks just yet (it would be very tough to do), we will cripple them though. Wipe out their army, siege the city for a bit, but TRY to not take it.
Should it backfire : Meh. I've had worse.

One thing that i've considered, was sending our "Anne Frank" army to.. *drums* siege Byzantium. I'd toss a few siege weapons on the way and we could win the game in a short time. BUT! It's risky, and even if we succeed : IT would be bad. I don't plan on finishing the LP too soon. We want them hordes.

[mainiac]

Just because a city has negative income doesn't mean it isn't contributing to the empire.  Troop costs are divided among the towns according to population.  These are the vast majority of maintenance costs.  So in fact, even the most negative income town actually is contributing to the empire's finances, it just isn't contributing less then average.

[Stworca]

Wait, are you saying this to me, good sir?

I know how this one works To figure the actual gain or loss one needs to add the "wages" and "upkeep" paid to the 'official' income, and then reduce it by the upkeep of troops needed to control that city.
The "-3000 gold" Rome was actually making more money than any other city in the empire.

[mainiac]

I figured you probably knew, but what you wrote after taking cathago nova had me a little puzzled.

[Stworca]

It was because despite low taxes and 1000+ units garrisoned, the public order was still 0%.
No way we're keeping a town like that.

Edit : In a few turns it will be Christian. After we take it later on (perhaps enslave and not exterminate this time) it will be stable.

Once again : Any suggestions you people might want to have : Toss them right at me.