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[Stworca]

Well, I suppose you can always do the other kind of encircling.  As one army marches across persia from the west, general big balls and friends come storming in from the north to cause havoc!

The time for Strategic planning on the battle map has passed long ago, as we have enough Stacks to siege every single city that does not belong to us at once. The game is won, and nothing can change it.
There is just one thing left to do, and that is Attila's mom.

Huns horde is 12000 strong.
Should be a decent ending for the LP.

The update takes a LOT of time, because Sassanids don't want me to have their cities, and auto-battling is FUBAR. I only have the mood to crush enemies in two battles a day.

[Zrk2]

I only have the mood to crush enemies in two battles a day.

Trololo! Yeah, late-game can be retarded.

[Stworca]

A poll has been added to "ease" your wait while i prepare the update. I almost finished the campaign.

The historically accurate armies mean, for example : Very limited cavalry for Romans, mostly infantry. One general. General for all field armies. And so on.
The limitations would include : Weather, exhaustion, morale, supplies and viewer-created Senate that breaks our balls! (everything controlled by die rolls / a system that i would quickly patch / common sense / all of the above)

If them viewers will decide that we, in fact, need such a run to end our Total War adventures, it would be my last TW LP for.. well, ever. Unless i decide to go video, which i doubt. For TW series anyway.

I think there are some neat mods for Rome, SPQR, Surrectum, EB.. I don't know any of them, so we will have a quick vote on that too.

Yes, i do have another Total War game : Medieval 2, but there is a LP on that already, and it seemed a bit dull to me. There is just some charm to elephants, hoplites and so on. The ancient instruments of war.
We would go back to the roots : Armenia style, except it would go much further than just having someone represent you. YOU - unwashed viewer - would control and shape the game! To some extent.

Come now, my two viewers (Three?), let me know your opinions. Let your voices be heard!

[mainiac]

This mod sounds interesting.  Does it make generals less insanely overpowered?  In that case, the mod might be easier for you.

[USEC_OFFICER]

The limitations would include : Weather, exhaustion, morale, supplies and viewer-created Senate that breaks our balls! (everything controlled by die rolls / a system that i would quickly patch / common sense / all of the above)

Is it sad that I'm drooling at the thought of all these limitations/gameplay enhancements? Maybe it's just because I'm hungry. Yeah.

Anyways I still completely support you including them in your next LP.

[Stworca]

It would probably be..

Die roll + Average climate in the region for weather. No attacking during summer on the African Deserts, nor winter in the coldest corners of the world.

Exhaustion is self explanatory. The longer an army goes without stopping.. I would probably add a % reduce to movement, but with an option to force march.. With a morale pentalty.

Morale would be the "big one". % of loses, duration of campaign, successes, distance, supplies and so on. With possible deserting (disbanding) or going rogue for some time. I will give it more thought later.

Supplies would limit to how close and large is the nearest city, road quality and so on. With boats and possibly peasants (if there are peasants in the mods) strengthening it.

It would all be only imaginary, as modding the game to have such limitations would take months, if it's even possible. But then we have the senate : Sneaky, unwashed viewers that have enormous influence over what the hell, why the hell and how the hell. Including, but not limited to the composition of armies, diplomacy, tolerance and so on..

I reserve a right to abandon the LP at any point if the number of interested "Senators" will drop below a certain number. But this should be obvious.

For example : Senators are racist bastards that treat all non-Romans as scum, and decide that we have to destroy ALL non-Roman buildings we encounter when capturing a city.
Senators meddle into MY affairs and decide that armies can only have 2 aux cav, but at the same time must have at least one standard bearing cohort..

And so on. I would be fighting the viewers as fiercely as the enemies. Except, them viewers can not be conquered by simple maneuvering. But even for this we will find a way, so that it's not a self-destruction senate.

Bla.

That's just a general idea for the future.

Otherwise i'll either focus on the RPG ones, or start HoI2 "Mommy, why is the entire world red?" HELL campaign.

[mainiac]

I've seen voting AARs before and in my experience, they tend to produce a LOT of bickering among the viewers but not add tremendously to the difficulty for an experienced player.  The bickering is so bad that over on the paradox forums they will ban you for starting such an AAR without getting permission first.  The lack of difficulty I think stems from the fact that the voters can't micromanage things to a large enough extent to really add to the difficulty appreciably.  The difficulty would be greater if you simply stated challenges at the start like, no surgical strikes and limits on troop composition (such as 50% limitanei minimum, and max of 1 merc, 1 cavalry, 1 general and 1 siege engine each.)  Because at the end of the day as long as you are calling the shots in battle, you are probably going to win.

But if you want a true challenge, do the communist utopia run, no temples, no trade and peasants only.

[Iituem]

Is... is it physically possible to win with peasants?  I mean, everything we've seen screams no in the loudest of voices, but then again this is Stworca we're talking about.

It could happen.

[Burnt Pies]

Given how powerful Enemy Generals seem to be against Infantry that's actually worth fielding, I'd say no. Two or three generals would probably tear a full stack of Peasants apart.

[Heron TSG]

GENERALS ONLY. NO RANGED UNITS. ALWAYS EXTERMINATE. FINAL DESTINATION.

[Sheb]

Yeah, a "general only" run, with no recruiting generals. All battles save for siege have to be made with only generals.

[Stworca]

Yeah, a "general only" run, with no recruiting generals. All battles save for siege have to be made with only generals.

I was expecting you to pop by like a dozen times by now, Slagathor! What took you so long?!

While i appreciate the ideas of general only or peasant only runs, The first  one would be extremely boring after a while (Generals are extremely powerful, i was thinking about using just one, and even then some generals would be more Pompeii than Ceasar), and the second would take ages to capture a single province, if doable at all. Unless it was town watch, or mercenary only army or something other than that.

I'm asking for an honest run.. yada.

I've seen voting AARs before and in my experience, they tend to produce a LOT of bickering among the viewers but not add tremendously to the difficulty for an experienced player.  The bickering is so bad that over on the paradox forums they will ban you for starting such an AAR without getting permission first.  The lack of difficulty I think stems from the fact that the voters can't micromanage things to a large enough extent to really add to the difficulty appreciably.

Well, there are some ways around it.

[Sheb]

I was in the south of france, hitchiking around, digging for gold, partying in Barcelona, getting hit on by gay truckers, washing in cemetaries, sleeping under bridges, climbing mountains, climbing fences and building to get to my loved one's bedroom and generally enjoying myself.

No internet tough, but I just read it all today, and I must say I'm disappointed. In some of those battles, you loose like ... 100 men? You? If it wasn't for the humor, I would scorn this LP totally.

Anyway, I think most of the fun in a general-only game would be that you'd have so little units to play with. Tactically the game may not be much, but strategically...

[Heron TSG]

Not to mention your cities would all be fairly well pissed off if you don't have a general stationed in them.

[Stworca]

Spoiler: Attila the Douche (click to show/hide)

What happened after i have hit End Turn in the last one?
Well, Burgundi have decided that it's time to wander through OUR lands, and get struck by our ambush party. Total annihilation awaits!


Why? Well, ambush was a success, and thus, we can..


Aye. We can see enemies before the battle begins, as well as place our own forces ALL around them.
The results should be obvious : Crus-- WHAT?! What the hell is going on!?


Was that it? Well.. No. The unwashed horde tried attacking one of our armies as well.


I will give you ten points if you figure out why i have my units positioned and grouped that way :


Oh? You did figure it out?
What do you mean "You have used this tactic before" ?!
Very well, let's see how it turned out.


Crushi-- ..The game is just trolling me at this point.


388, Winter.
Our turn is pretty uneventful, we just take Tarsus with next to no loses. Slow and steady wins the race.


The turn ends, and we have a confirmation : AI is incapable of learning anything from their mistakes.


Another ambush, but this time we have more men and more experience. Thus.. ANOTHER Clear victory? I want CRUSHING ones! What the hell..! (till the very end of the LP i will not get a single crushing victory.. I guess killing 2500 enemies and losing 40 men is just "meh")


Oh, Hey! They DID learn something from their mistakes!


Then again, it's too little and too late. Admit it viewer, you wanted me to fail!


Burgundii are down to 1 general, who is hiding in a bush somewhere. The hunt will take a while, because horde generals know Voodoo magic. I still did not hunt all Ostrogoths..
On the otherh and, we capture Sidon


As well as Sinope. Remember when we captured it as Armenians? When i was young and beautiful, and now i am no longer the first.


One thing was bothering me during this LP. We did not have a single night battle.
Why not have one now?
I chose : General Big Balls.
To fight : Attila the Douche!


Sadly, enemy reinforcements will not be able to participate, but in a second you'll realize that it's actually a GOOD thing.
First, take a look at our glorious army.. in the night.


Here you can see us from another angle. Night battles look badass!


But there is an enormous downside : You can not see shit..


Thus, let me get to the important part right away!

(insert intro image here)

I have to say : The night battle was not working in my favor either, a bit more difficult to control.
Not that it matters, we are never, ever going to see "Crushing Victory" again. I guess that a 20:1 kill ratio is just not enough anymore.


"But Stworca, we wanted to see a giant battle against Huns!"
All right, Sunny Jim! Here it is!

Spoiler: The Very Last Battle (click to show/hide)

I mean "on screen" ones. Not a single one afterwards will be interesting.. At ALL.
General Big Balls has to give a speech first..


Barbarian Invasion is such a rip off.. In the vanilla The generals had TONS of stuff to say, here you are done with a single sentence.
But let's get to the matter at hand : How to humiliate the Huns?
Form a Horde of our own!


Aside from the horse archers, we also have 8 cavalry units and 2 generals. What to do with them?
Well, 3 Cav and Big balls will ride onward, while the rest..


Hun Reinforcements are on the way, these hidden cav units will allow us to completely crush them.
But i digress! Let's focus on the enemies that we can already SEE!
Big Balls is simply going to run inside, while the horse archers are going to pass and encircle the enemies, while raping them with arrows.


The tactic is great in Stronghold Crusader.. That is unless you fight against flaming balistas.. And everyone is playing ONLY with flaming balistas.


Oh, hey, the tactic worked!


Now to regroup and face the rei--- What? We won?! But the reinforcements..!! YES i DO want to continue! (sadly, the fact that i was too fast will screw up this battle, as only 1 set of reinforcements appears  )


Naturally i only found out about it AFTER it happened, so at this point i was still enthusiastic and needed to change my pants from all the excitement.
I click Continue, and the lazy huns finally appear. Took their sweet time for sure. We WON before they could even travel the 100 yards to join the fight.


Stupid huns..
I could easily wipe them out at the border of the map, but that would be CHEATING!
Thus i reform my line far enough away from the huns, for them to form a line.
And also far enough from the huns, for them to make a critical mistake. A Ball-Breaking, Eye-Gouging, Butt-Ploughing mistake.


And yes, i have hidden the other cav units as well. All but the general as a matter of fact. Let's see how it turns out!
SURPRISE!


I haven't used that in a while, eh? The other flank is fine too.


What is the core of Hunnic army doing now? They march.


Through a rain of arrows, while their cavalry is wiped out one by one..


It doesn't take long for the Huns to find themselves in the very worst of all possible situations.


How unexpected.
Also : A low poly tree is obstructing the view!


Huns picked the soap, with our battle-hardened soldiers ready to act, and a wave got annihilated with acceptable loses.
We reform the line, the time for tricks has ended, time for fighting has begun! BRING IN WAVES 3 AND 4!


And this is when i realized, that by winning too fast, i didnt give the enemies a chance to arrive.. I hate this game.


It's not just a regular hate, my heart is filled with a burning sea of hate. What pissed me off  so much? Well, aside from the huns not appearing.. THIS :


Die in a fire, Barbarian Invasion.

Spoiler: Finish 'em off (click to show/hide)

I've decided to wait for the cowardly, unwashed Huns to attack me. I shall just stand there and look pretty, scratching my balls.


I hit end turn, but the huns do not act. Instead, the ERE is trying their best to teach us a lesson.


This looks interesting, for about 12 seconds, because then i can see this :


A bridge.. And so, the city is ours. Antioch is actually very well developed. They could train generals and whatnot.


The game was becoming boring, and i had my regrets about continuing, but the sneaky viewers voted, so.. Aye.
The turn continues, and we capture a city that should be known to us all. Santa was nowhere to be found, sadly.


We also FINALLY hunt down the last Burgundii General


As well as Ostrogoth one.


I end the turn, and.. HUNS ATTACK! YE-- No.. They just used one stack. How.retarded.are.you?!


At this point i just stopped caring, and didn't pay attention to the loses. It simply tired me.


We have had more exciting battles as Spain and Armenia.
Except for the Sassanid Uber-Generals, nothing even scratches our troops..
But is that so? I have a plan for Sassanids as well, allow me to demonstrate :


Can you see it already?


How about now?


Now is a bit too late, but just for completion sake :


Aside from the generals, Sassanids seem to suck as much as Egypt did in vanilla. But what does one expect from Javelin armies?


They would have to outnumber us greatly, and swarm with general-heavy armies. I just.. don't see it happening, and yes, i started auto-battling the small fights :


Time to speed things up - i said to myself - and then Kotais rebelled.


Sigh.. Just..


If it made the game more difficult, i would accept the rebellions and all the other bullshit, but as it is..


..it's just a waste of time. Thankfully there are only three more factions to go. Huns, Roxolani and Sassanids.

Spoiler: Mi casa es su c--- NO! GET OUT OF HERE YOU HOBO! (click to show/hide)

What shall we do in this last spoiler?
Well, we can.. Capture Artaxarta..


...Ctesiphon..


..Phraaspa..


..Say Hello to Roxolani by sieging their capital..


..Send Big Balls to show just how much we want to greet them in our Empire..


..Capture Arsakia, reducing Sassanids to 1 province..


We can also : Chase down the Huns like the douchebags they are..


..Wipe them out..


..get insulted by Roxolani..


Finally : Capture Dumatha..


..showing Sassanids just HOW POWERLESS WE ARE!


And finally, after one offscreen rebel-province capture : Siege Roxolani


..and win the game.


But that's not yet over, viewer! There is MORE! LOOK :


And finally! The destination of my BI cd!

Thank You for watching! Have my babies!
Vanilla was much better.. If not for the lacking AI :S