Avaricum has rebelled. No surprise here. THIS however did surprise me..
What is this? Great Migration? Are peasants forming hordes too..? No matter. Many people have asked "how bad are peasants anyway..?"
Allow me to demonstrate :
I did use Dick Mountainjoy tactics, but if i did not, the casualties wouldn't be higher than.. 10 anyway. Peasants are awful, terrible and abysmal when it comes to combat.
Then again, peasants are one of the main pillars of our economic recovery. The wages for peasants are only 50. The wages of comissares are 350 or more.
Before we get any further, let us control the messages we've received at the beginning of the turn. Ports, markets and more. Despite all that, we are still losing money.. Sigh.
I will get to that in just a second. There is something outrageous that requires immediate attention.
This :
God damn Byzantine Empire! How dare you! How am i supposed to offer further "assistance" against sarmatians, when They aren't our common enemy anymore?!
Now to the issue at hand.. -2000 income. Let us turn it into +2000 without hitting "end turn" shall we?
The magic will begin in Rome. Once our new emperor arrived in the city, we were able to raise the taxes to high. THEN his income bonuses were added... Take a guess how many soldiers are garrisoned in Rome?
No, you've guessed incorrectly. Rome is kept in order by two groups of peasants.
After i was done with Rome, i started switching garrisons between cities, fixing taxes, disbanding even more troops.
Finally, i've landed Syracuse army next to Carthage..
..and fixed Carthage's public order, defense issues and increased the income. All it took was using one boat. The boat got disbanded to decrease the expenses.
What do you know.. The stuff on tvmarket works!
WRE is.. FIXED! With one simple spray. Dick Mountainjoy Guarantee!
It was easier than i expected! Now let us reclaim what is ours. With the death of all the damn peasants, the way is open for us to siege Avaricum!
It will take a few months to build rams. In the meantime let us focus on Army Group "Eastern Shitholes". Another wall-less city. Ha!
Not only that. The city is also completely open, and aside from the tiny hill, has absolutely no defenses against cavalry charge.
The results? Ahoy!
Campus Marcomanni is another hopeless village, that despite 400 population can not be controlled by thrice that many soldiers. We abandon it. Both of the camps will be interesting targets for all our enemies. Our valuable lands will be safer without additional soldiers.
I shall retreat that army south. This general is average at best when it comes to combat, but he is in possession of Christian Relics and impressive, conversion traits. It takes only a few turns for him to turn a pagan province into a Christian one. I may retreat him to Gaul later on, but that is a plan for the future.
For now, let us discuss the Celts..
They have two cities, but it appears that their king is their only family member. It may change at any moment, thus we are striking right away. Celts can not form Hordes. Taking them out is thus possible. After the battle begun, we can quickly notice their main ranged unit : Slingers.
While dangerous from behind the walls, slingers have one feature that works in our favor : Their range is SHORTER than that of our archers.
Slingers start with 160 soldiers. Shortly later, their number is nearly halved.
With the barbaric slingers being pinned by my archers, i advance the infantry to the walls. A volley of javelins sure looks nice!
But it serves other purposes too. Any attempts to block the soon-to-be-breached walls will result in severe losses. Celts have to chose : Block the way and get decimated by javelins, or give up and let us breach the walls.
To add a bit pressure, i use multiple rams. Not on the gate though. It can be opened from the inside by our troops (making a third entrance)
With the slingers staying away, our archers switch target. It's super effective.
Ready or not, here i come.
Notice how the wall is breached on both sides.
Notice how all of our archers and spearchuckers are ready to raise hell.
Now notice the single group of hostile spearmen exposed to encirclement, cavalry charges and rain of arrows. I pity them.
With their fate sealed, we move inside. I prefer having multiple entrances to move inside swiftly, in case enemy tries to hold us in a bottleneck.
We form a very simple formation, and send cavalry as bait. Enemy warlord is the main target here, as he can kill hundreds of our troops on his own. (VH enemy generals are bullshit)
Once again, there are a few things to notice.
First of all, notice our general running away with the enemy cavalry on his tail.
Next notice our other heavy cavalry group on the bottom-right.
Our infantry line is also about to begin the charge.
Lastly : Aren't those flaming arrows romantic?
Celtic Fool (We haven't used that in a while!) : Oi, mate! What is it?!
Roman General : A TRAP!
Surrounded by my troops, the fools fate is sealed.
With the general dead, the rest is just a formality. I have to say : The flaming arrow volleys in BI look better than in vanilla.
They all died, and there was much joy. Then i've noticed that our losses are too high for my liking. Then again, it will only get worse from here! (Hurray! - said the overjoyed, sadistic, bay 12 viewer that loves to watch people die in agony)
With the death of their king, and with no heir.. Celts are no more.
It may not be much, but without the damn Celtic Barbarians, we have one less front to worry about.
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Topic: Western Roman Invasion : "Attila the Douche" (End) (Read 26797 times)