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Author Topic: Your top 5 deaths!  (Read 15435 times)

Seraphim342

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Re: Your top 5 deaths!
« Reply #60 on: October 19, 2011, 12:41:47 am »

5. boogeymen
4. unicorns
3. randomly shot in the face by ONE goblin when I had 15 companions charging him
2. Kicked in the head by a camel.  Thing was hiding inside the entrance gatehouse to an abandoned castle so I never even saw it. 
1. Last night, playing my new adventurer (after previous one was killed by aforesaid camel) I had just spent over an hour training up to truly epic skill levels.  Had just shy of 20 companions and was tearing my way through everything until most of them got killed or severely wounded in a gobbo camp.  Then, on the way back to report success... bandit ambush.  Felt like7 Samurai, we were cutting down bandits left and right, until it was just me left.  Killed the commander in one hit with a steel axe sending his head off in an arc... then was punched to death in the face by the last remaining bandit, a wrestler with no feet.  Which is hilarious to me, because within the past few turns my favorite head had deflected hammer, axe, and mace blows with my !!Steel Helmet!!.  But a dude PUNCHES THROUGH IT INTO MY BRAIN.  YOU ARE DECEASED.
I don't think I've ever gotten so angry at a video game as that moment.  Had to walk out on the back porch and chain smoke for 15 mnutes to keep myself from starting a tantrum spiral. 
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Lordraymond

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Re: Your top 5 deaths!
« Reply #61 on: October 19, 2011, 02:13:37 am »

5)First death: Died to getting my eyes pecked out by a buzzard and then torn apart by wolves... scary...
4)Killed by bandit lord: He sliced my guts out and then decapitated me.
3)Killed by peasants: I accidentally hit one with a thrown object, ten ganged up on me and beat me to death over several dozen turns
2)BS Ringmaster kill: Fighting a group of bandits completely unharmed, pwning everything. The Ringmaster hits me in the face with his whip and breaks my spine. From there it's just a beat down.
1)One of my best adventurers, six followers and full iron. I go up against a night creature, and with all my followers behind me I could easily kill it. Guess what? All six ran off to hunt rabbits. Needless to say, the night creature had a nice nom on my skull.
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Erkki

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Re: Your top 5 deaths!
« Reply #62 on: October 19, 2011, 03:02:41 pm »

1) As a legendary pikeman in full outfit, decided to clense an Elf town. At 70-ish kills I opened a new door, and the first Elf in the line somehow didnt die but jumped beside me. Stabbed him in the head, getting another peasant's boning knife through my skull from the side. Full bronze and iron armor, but forgot about head protection, oops....

2) Found a demonic overlord in a castle. Woke up in the night and sneaked in his room, going to one-shot him. Somehow instead of stabbing him in the head(he had no head protection whatsoever) I chose the pommel strike, fracturing skull and bruising the brains. He then woke up and killed me after half an hour long battle.

3) 50-Goblin ambush when asleep

4) Fucking wolves

5) In another Goblin ambush, one shotted by a crossbowman through breastplate. I never even saw him...
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IcarusOne

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Re: Your top 5 deaths!
« Reply #63 on: October 20, 2011, 12:40:54 pm »

I just had a ~30 minute fight against a night creature which has his lair dug into an evil forest with skeletons AND zombies (overlapping biomes, one of my dead forts is here.) He was terrorizing the local town and had to be stopped, he already had more than 10 kills to scream at me. It was night, and i was being chased by boogeymen AND the undead. So getting to the lair and killing the beast was double-important.
I was a leather armored human lasher (hero) with a silver whip with no companions...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoQex8CB9eA&feature=related

(It eventually managed to stab me to death with his copper boning knife. A pity.)

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rolk112

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Re: Your top 5 deaths!
« Reply #64 on: October 21, 2011, 05:35:58 pm »

5 shot to head with crossbow
4 honey badger hit me after fight with goblin camp
3 shot in leg knocked me down and silver flail smashed my face
2 arrow to foot (don't ask :( )
1 dodged an arrow but landed in volcano
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Lord Dakoth

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Re: Your top 5 deaths!
« Reply #65 on: October 25, 2011, 02:30:27 am »

5) Kicked in the head by a mule
4) Gored in the face by a boogeyman
3) Struck by a flying arrow that tore apart my nose and brain
2) Thrown by an ogre into a palm tree, exploding on impact (facepalm?)
1) Charging at a bandit, he sidesteps, strikes, I dodge off a cliff
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Teneb

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Re: Your top 5 deaths!
« Reply #66 on: October 25, 2011, 01:09:39 pm »

5)Buzzard bites my throat off.
4)Night Creature gouges my eyes, rips off my arms and legs (surprisingly not killing me) and then slowly punches me to death while I try to bite it.
3)Dodging into a river while fighting a bandit and then being mauled by an alligator
2)Diving into a magma pipe, going all the way down, beating a fire imp to death and then drowning in the magma
1)Attacked simmultaneously by 10 bandit wrestlers that bit (and latched onto) me to death
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Noozeelander

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Re: Your top 5 deaths!
« Reply #67 on: October 26, 2011, 03:23:49 am »

5: Accidentally stabbed a teammate in a confusing fight; got dismembered for my troubles

4: Random arrow hits my extremely powerful (but lamentably unhelmeted) adventurer as he assaults a bandit camp.

3: Head smashed in by a yellow-bellied coward elf while asleep

2: Random giraffe staves in my character's head/brain outside a fortress within five minutes of starting the game

1: Decided to retire the most powerful character I've had so far, who was legendary in most combat skills, in a forest retreat, to give him plenty of time to reflect upon deep, spiritual matters and learn the arts of war (presumably guided by a wise old elf in a terribly cliched fashion). Meanwhile, made a fortress to mine down to HFS, make lots of adamantine goodies for my adventurer and generally give myself a bit of a challenge. Cut to six years later: the fortress is abandoned, HFS unleashed, and my adventurer finally comes out of his long retirement to face this ultimate challenge of his abilities! Only... all my companions apparently abandoned me over that period, and there weren't any nearby civilisations or lairs that I knew of...
BOGEYMAN'd before I even got halfway to my fortress  >:(
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Edmus

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Re: Your top 5 deaths!
« Reply #68 on: October 26, 2011, 05:02:59 am »



1: Decided to retire the most powerful character I've had so far, who was legendary in most combat skills, in a forest retreat, to give him plenty of time to reflect upon deep, spiritual matters and learn the arts of war (presumably guided by a wise old elf in a terribly cliched fashion). Meanwhile, made a fortress to mine down to HFS, make lots of adamantine goodies for my adventurer and generally give myself a bit of a challenge. Cut to six years later: the fortress is abandoned, HFS unleashed, and my adventurer finally comes out of his long retirement to face this ultimate challenge of his abilities! Only... all my companions apparently abandoned me over that period, and there weren't any nearby civilisations or lairs that I knew of...
BOGEYMAN'd before I even got halfway to my fortress  >:(
This.
This happened to me only the other day.
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Teneb

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Re: Your top 5 deaths!
« Reply #69 on: October 26, 2011, 11:14:25 am »

I think I need to change my #1 death:

I was ambushed by bogeymen, and surprisingly killed them all with my spear. Then I move to kill the last one, that was horribly mauled by then, and it rips out my throat. I spent about 5 minutes looking at the screen in surprise.
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Lordraymond

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Re: Your top 5 deaths!
« Reply #70 on: October 27, 2011, 12:28:53 am »

Ignore my previous number one, I just got a GREAT one

My new best adventurer, once again full iron this time with THIRTEEN(!) Companions, I'm questing and I get a simple goblin-razing quest.

"Sure! Easy!"

I stepped onto the hill they had occupied with my small army of followers, but one step later I'm greeted with "YOU ARE DECEASED"

Wut

I check the log, a single goblin crossbowman put a bolt through my skull as I moved onto the hill. That's utter Dwarfcrap
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Teneb

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Re: Your top 5 deaths!
« Reply #71 on: October 27, 2011, 04:35:21 pm »

I check the log, a single goblin crossbowman put a bolt through my skull as I moved onto the hill. That's utter Dwarfcrap

Stuzol McCrossbowgoblin: "Boom! Headshot."
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Funk

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Re: Your top 5 deaths!
« Reply #72 on: October 28, 2011, 01:32:55 pm »

killed by king Obruk Shorelimp.
the tale of Ngo Hailthundered the Folded Square of creatures started well for he had a sword of steel.
to start he guarded is home from nightcreatures but soon he tired of it
so set off to town to buy armor as he had no money he killed an alligator in the hope that it body could pay for a mail shirt of helm.

it was as he walk across the field that the first of the locals attacked him, Ngo being no weakling spill the guts of his foe killing him
the bad news was that a great mass of farm hands rushd to attack ngo.
his sword arced from head to limb,from hand to neck, huwing a crimson path of death.

sady the loss of a foot stop his attack if only that now he wouldfight his way clear of the town.
as Ngo was fight his way back to the tree line on his back useing his only remaning foot to move  and his hands to fight, it is little wonder that Obruk did slay Ngo, the fact the he killed 35 of the king people befor he was stoped tells you just how bad the town guards were.
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Garath

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Re: Your top 5 deaths!
« Reply #73 on: October 29, 2011, 01:27:06 pm »

I'm just starting out so i dont think my tales will be of epic proportions yet.

I had just singlehandedly killed an archer bandit, swordsman bandit, maceman bandit and a wrestler bandit, mostly by cutting of their weapon hand quite early on. As I charge the last hench (the archer was the chief) he ducks, swings and severs my spine, bashes in all my ribs and carves out my lungs. Talk about a surprise
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Edmus

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Re: Your top 5 deaths!
« Reply #74 on: October 29, 2011, 06:25:36 pm »

I'm just starting out so i dont think my tales will be of epic proportions yet.

I had just singlehandedly killed an archer bandit, swordsman bandit, maceman bandit and a wrestler bandit, mostly by cutting of their weapon hand quite early on. As I charge the last hench (the archer was the chief) he ducks, swings and severs my spine, bashes in all my ribs and carves out my lungs. Talk about a surprise
Always take archers out first, my awesome dragon slayer found that out the hard way.

oh, spinal tissue will return to blue given enough travel time, but it will still cripple them.
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