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[tomas1297]

Evolve above your brethren and become a godlike grue-man.

[Sinpwn]

Using your hypersensitive grue-smell, follow the peculiar smell of tobacco burning to its source.

[Spaghetti7]

Eat one if your legs, realise your mistake and screech for help.

[Darvi]

That was fast.

[Spaghetti7]

That was fast.

Indeed it was. This thread is gathering quite a following.

[Darvi]

[1] Turning the corner at the end of the passage way, the grue comes face to face with a herd of angry mammoths
[2] Search for stupid adventurers stumbling around to eat.
[3] Punch through a wall like the Kool-Aid Man and eat the poor kobolds on the other side.
[4] Evolve above your brethren and become a godlike grue-man.
[5] Using your hypersensitive grue-smell, follow the peculiar smell of tobacco burning to its source.
[6] Eat one if your legs, realise your mistake and screech for help.

[1] They say that curiosity killed the cat. Felines are indeed tasty, if a bit stringy, so the grue goes to the exit of the dungeon. Well, it's less of an exit and more of a hole that leads into the higher levels of the dungeon. The inhabitants of said dungeon never bothered to close it off, because they knew that anybody who planned on using the hole as a secret exit would find themselves rather quickly inside the stomach of a very hungry grue.And the grue wouldn't have it any other way.

It is night time outside. The grue doesn't like being outside, even at night, because the moon can still shine brightly enough to temporarly blind it. However it is new moon that day, so all is good.
Using its keen eyesight, the grue could make out a group of mammoths in the dark. The grue liked mammoths. Lots of fur, but enough meat to last it for a week or two.
Behind them it spotted more creatures. It was a kobold hunting group, each riding a sabretooth tiger. Why aren't any of the cats dead? The grue felt so betrayed by the idiom.
What it didn't know is that, at the same moment, a kobold princess would be weeping over the grave of her precious kitten.

While you're discussing the benefits of wearing underwear, I'll be over there, building snowmen. Call me when you're done.

[TherosPherae]

Be the kobold princess.

[lawastooshort]

Next to the Kobold Princess, Zoosmell Pooplord suddenly appears. He is smoking his pipe and brandishing a warrant. He wants to exhume the precious kitten's corpse - he is searching for clues!

[Spaghetti7]

The grue should warn the mammoths of the approaching Kobolds, then eat anyone left after the fight.

[Sinpwn]

In a rediculous fit of stupidity, the grue, distressed at the kobolds planning on taking his meal, decided to walk over to them. he proceeded to demand a thumb wrestling duel, with the winner taking the mammoths.

[kisame12794]

Suddenly monkeys!!!

[SeriousConcentrate]

Posting to watch. :3

[lawastooshort]

SeriousConcentrate logs on to his computer to watch the thread, when Zoosmell Pooplord suddenly materialises, brandishing a pipe and a warrant. He wants to confiscate the computer to carry out in-depth IT forensics in an attempt to identify the kitten murderer. SC resists: Pooplord has no jurisdiction here! He and the Belgian wrestle vigourously; suddenly the detective's pipe goes flying, the burning embers setting the curtains aflame!

[Teronsuke]

You are a grue, unstoppable horror of the dark. Consume a mammoth in a single bite and scare these foolish kobolds from this place.

[Darvi]

[1] Be the kobold princess.
[2] The grue should warn the mammoths of the approaching Kobolds, then eat anyone left after the fight.
[3] In a rediculous fit of stupidity, the grue, distressed at the kobolds planning on taking his meal, decided to walk over to them. he proceeded to demand a thumb wrestling duel, with the winner taking the mammoths.
[4] Suddenly monkeys!!!
[5] Posting to watch. :3
[6] You are a grue, unstoppable horror of the dark. Consume a mammoth in a single bite and scare these foolish kobolds from this place.

[2] The grue devised a cunning plan. It would alert the mammoths of the kobold's presence, and let them fight each other. Whoever would survive the struggle would surely be weakened enough for it to defeat.

Fortunately, it didn't have to do anything. The mammoths knew that they were pursued, and began to charge into the group. A hefty fight commenced, with the kobolds trying to overwhelm the pachyderms with their numbers and outmaneuvering them with their speed, while the mammoths would try to smash the pests with their sheer bulk.

A few minutes later, it was all over. The mammoths were slain, but most of the kobolds were dead too. The grue was waiting for just this opportunity. Wihtout giving it further thought, it ran towards the last surviving kobold.
Unfortunately (for the grue. The kobold itself was quite lucky), the kobolds mount was, despite being wounded on its left hind leg, still fit enough to sprint away from the incoming creature. Soon the tiger and the kobold were out of sight.What a shame, the grue thought. Oh well, at least there's all the other bodies to consume.Usually grues aren't scavengers, and prefer to prey on living beings, but those corpses were fresh, and haven't even cooled down yet despite them being surrounded by snow. After a few minutes of delightful nomming and chewing, the grue was satisfyingly full.


I wish I could animate the entire battle in ASCII, but alas, you have to content with my sucky narrative.