Morning, Wednesday 10th April, 1906. As the beautiful Scandinavian sunlight bursts through the rising morning mist – or is it fog? – a scene of terrifying confusion reigns on the rocky and bloodied beach upon which our four brave gentlemen find themselves stranded. All persons present appear to be bleeding from the ear, having narrowly escaped a hideous loss of inner ear health related balance; merely one day into their exceedingly important mission ribs and limbs have all been broken or fractured and, worse, several suits have been irreparably damaged. The fate of the Empire hangs in the balance, its would-be saviours seemingly beached like so many incompetent but well-dressed whales.
Decisiveness of thought and boldness of action is required!Ask the butlers to pour a little bit of the tea into my ear to heal it.
“I say!” says, boldly,
Mr William Wellington.
“What the deuce is going on? Jenkins!” he adds, decisively,
“Pour a cup of that tea down my blasted ear, will you? Can’t bloody hear a thing with all that bloody blood bloody well bleeding out of it. Bloody disgrace is what it is.”Wellington leans slightly over to one side as a nearby butler takes the teapot from the gentlemen’s makeshift tea table, expertly crafts a fine cup of tea, and uses his standard issue butler ear-funnel to pour it directly into Wellington’s ear.
As the scalding hot liquid stops flowing out of Wellington’s ear cavity, he realises he feels a great deal better! The tea appears to have cauterised the wound! The blood flow has ceased!
Mr Wellington thanks the butler with a dismissive wave of the hand and gets up for a quick stroll. He quickly decides against such rash folly and asks for another cup of tea to be served.
He is about to recommence his ghastly musings on the subject of Roman emperors when he suddenly recalls the task at hand.
“I say,” he exclaims,
“Where the devil are we?” [4]
”Please attend to my wounds, butlers. Thank you for helping me, I'll nominate you fine chaps for the butler of the year award! Would you like some tea?”
“We’re on this God-forsaken island awaiting some kind of ship-based rescue or swim-based escape whilst watching me bleed to death, that’s where the bloody devil we are!” cries Wellington’s compatriot
Henry McGeenyton unreasonably.
“Bloody hell Smythe, it would be terribly kind of you if you could attend to my wounds, you know. I'll nominate you fine chaps for the butler of the year award! Would you like some tea?”“Yes sir, thank you sir,” replies the blood-stained Smythe, helping himself to a cup of tea,
“Now, what was that you mentioned about wounds, sir?”The tea is of such excellent quality Smythe seems to have forgotten his duty! McGeenyton bleeds silently in polite despair. ‘Tis the English way. [2]
Find out where the steam ship went.
Sir August von Fersen, for one, however, has not forgotten his duty! He has been sent to save the kidnapped
Professor Blythington-Smythe, thereby saving the British Empire!
Alas! He is stuck on a rocky island, several miles from the lovely Scandinavian coast! If only there were a passing steamship that might lead them from one to the other.
Blast. [3]
Join Wellington for some of that restorative tea.
As
von Fersen peers about into the distance,
Smith decides, having just got dressed, that it is time for his morning cup of tea.
Perhaps, he thinks to himself,
it will have a restorative effect after the exertions of the night?
He takes a seat; he takes a sip!
The majestic and diuretic power of correctly prepared Assam burns through his magnificent and so often naked body!
Smith brusquely thrusts back his chair. He nobly rises to his feet! He stretches his arms towards the heavens like the first man to roam the earth!
He feels a blistering strength! He feels a miraculous sense of health and well being! He feels a fusing of bones within his chest! He even feels a warm glow of radiance about his handsome jaw line! [6]
State Acquired! Mr Smith: Tea-powered Super Manliness! (ten turns remaining)
Suddenly a loud horn interrupts this most English and beautiful scene. The passing steamship has returned!
“I say, Smith,” speculates
von Fersen.
“Your intimidating yet undeniably attractive manliness must have brought yon steamship hither!”As the steamship approaches and lowers a rowboat to come to shore, the eagle eyed von Fersen lets out a small gasp of joy.
“I say! The ship is unfurling the Swedish flag! We are saved!”… … … … … …
Some time later that day, the steamship SS Aurelius arrives in Norway, and pulls up alongside the dock at Hammerfest. Thanking the ship’s captain profusely with a firm shake of the hand and a kind word or two pronounced loudly, clearly and several times, the four gentlemen wander down the gangway into the village. ‘Twas here the last known destination of Professor Blythington-Smythe!… … … … … …
Item Acquired! Mr McGeenyton: The Devoted Service of a Pair of English Butlers! (four turns remaining)
Item Acquired! Mr McGeenyton: A Promise to Acquire Two New Suits! (nineteen turns remaining)
Current Gentlemen
Player: areyoua
Name: Winston Smith, American
BioStatus: Feeling manly in Hammerfest.
Inventory: A Walking
Bat Stick Capable of Serious Bodily Harm, an Umbrella, a Fine German Sword,
Masterwork Top Hat,
Mysterious Ancient Bagpipes, French-English Dictionary, Smashing Coat (extra warm).
Wounds: [HP:98/100] |
Light Bleeding!
Skills: We Carry Large Sticks, Knowledge of the English Gentleman, Walking Bat Stick Deflection, A little more expertise in the art of walking bat stick deflection, Baseball Cricket Fatality!, We Never Lost a War! (yet), Fallible Pedant!, Fatally Bad Doctor!, Not a Zoologist!, Prone to Embarassing Sartorial Malfunction!
Gentlemanliness: 9.
Caddishness: 4. Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: William Wellington, Gentleman
BioStatus: In Hammerfest.
Inventory: Two Fine Dueling Pistols, Stone Throwing Discs.
Wounds: [HP:99/100]Skills: A Quite Talented Salesman,
Natural Born Top Hat Wearer,
Top Hat Black Belt,
Airship Pilotage,
Top Hat Acquisition,
Extraordinarily Convincing.
Gentlemanliness: 11.
Caddishness: 0.
Player: Geen
Name: Henry McGeenyton, Gentleman
BioStatus: Bleeding in Hammerfest.
Inventory: Monocle, Double Barreled Walking Stick With Tartan Trim, Grappling Hook Wristwatch, Tin of Loose Tea Leaves, The Devoted Service of a Pair of English Butlers! (five turns remaining), A Promise to Acquire Two New Suits! (twenty turns remaining).
Wounds: [HP:73/100] |
Fractured Left Lower Leg! | Heavy Bleeding! | Further Light Bleeding! | Fractured Pelvis!
Skills: Graceful combat, Monocles, Refined Accent, Particularly Calm, Tedious Oratory!
Gentlemanliness: 13.
Caddishness: 3. Player: scriver
Name: Sir August von Fersen, Noble Young Swede
BioStatus: Delighted to be a Swede in Hammerfest.
Inventory: Umbrella-Sword, Copy of Gentleman Hunter’s Weekly, Fine Hunting Rifle,
Masterwork Gold Eye Patch, Finely Crafted Pipe, a Magnum Revolver, Exquisitely Crafted Letter of Apology, Forster's Norwegian-Swedish Dictionary (24/24).
Wounds: [HP:98/100] |
Left Eye Blown Clean Off |
Light Bleeding!
Skills: Enthusiastic Hunter, Well-Versed with Pipes, Tremendous Orator, Masterful Pipe Holding, Fleetfooted Tenacity of the Swedish Elk, It Runs in the Family, Knowledge of the Elk, a Modicum of Knowledge in the Area of Medicine, Published Poet, Dangerous Misfires.
Gentlemanliness: 16.
Caddishness: 2.
Edit note: deleted two unneeded spaces.
Author
Topic: Roll to Be a Gentleman Spy - Chapter Three Part Twenty One. (Read 74833 times)