Chapter Two, Part Ten Alas, rushing can be a man's downfall - quite literally in this case.
See if I can somehow find something of interest on this blimp.
Ignoring the plight of the drifting
Zeppelin and trusting his fellow spies to take care of the situation,
Mr Link searches about the dirigible, taking care not to fall through the hole blasted through the floor of the principal wicker basket [5].
He finds a rather Prussian looking picnic hamper, inside of which is a dusty bottle of 1811 comet vintage brandy, Chateau de Bayard, no less, and a finely inlaid case of masterwork cigars. At the very bottom, carefully wrapped, is a small stack of what appear to be excellent biscuits.
Item Acquired! Comet Vintage Brandy! Item Acquired! Masterwork Cigars!Item Acquired! Excellent Biscuits! Thank God for not taking another piece of my body from me and take care of German's arm as best I can ("I heard if you apply it correctly and spit on it, it'll grow right back"). Then, attempt to understand how the zeppelin works (and most importantly, how to pilot it) over an intellect-stimulating cup of tea.
Whilst Link rummages about in the corners of the airship’s main basket,
von Fersen offers a prayer of thanks to God for leaving him, after this latest close proximity explosion, unharmed [5]. It feels, to his keen Swedish ears, a heartfelt, sincere, and effective prayer, and he feels the warmth of God upon him. A true gentleman, he immediately turns his attention back to the poor German whose arm was removed by Wellington’s top hat of fury, encouraging the wounded man to spit on it and thrust it with firmness in the right place [5+1 prayer bonus]; to the amazement of all present the arm appears to stick in place, and, indeed, function as fully as one’s arm could be expected to.
In thanks, the German brews von Fersen a cup of tea which, alas, is rather mediocre [3]. The poor Swede fails to feel his intellectual faculties much improved, and more out of a sense of need rather than of inspiration he decides to start trying to understand the workings of the Zeppelin. Unfortunately it is a rather complex machine, and although it soon becomes apparent that the large ship’s wheel must have something to do with the matter, it also soon becomes apparent that August von Fersen, noble young Swede, does not know exactly what. He takes a pensive puff on his ever-present finely crafted pipe.
Gentlemanliness Increased! Caring for one’s less fortunate acquaintances!
Skill Acquired! You have gained a modicum of knowledge in the area of medicine!
Await tea time.
As von Fersen puffs pensively,
Wellington, disdaining the abuse of tobacco for intellectual stimulation, realises that what is becoming an Englishman in need of inspiration is the act of waiting for someone to serve him tea.
He waits.
After several minutes, the German seems to have sufficiently recovered from his wounds to have regained his senses - he remembers that, in fact, not long ago he was meant to be offering tea to all of the fine gentlemen who were about to board his airship, not just the Swedish kind! With all the enthusiasm of a man who humbly knows that he is remiss, the now two-armed German brews Wellington an excellent cup of tea [6] - so excellent, indeed, that, all of a sudden, whilst drinking it, the Englishman is struck by the divine bolt of just that inspiration he needed! He realises how to pilot an airship! He rises abruptly to his feet, spilling some of his tea on his shoe!
"By Jove!"
Skill Acquired! Airship Pilotage!
In
Geneva, the gentlemen respond to the fierce questioning of the Swiss Customs Officer.
“G” has his wits about him, and chips in first.
"Aye, I am here to see the sights of great Switzerland and maybe do a little hunting."
The Officer looks delighted [6].
“Aha! Then you must come with me this afternoon, and I will introduce you to my wife! She and I often take walks in the surrounding countryside in the afternoons to admire the beauty of the magnificent sights of our homeland and then to blast them to smithereens! How enlightening for the soul; how tremendous for the eyes to sit upon a secluded bench near a lake and take in the rarefied air! How pleasant for the body to hike for an hour or two and then to take refreshment in a mountain inn with a cold lager and plate of mountain potatoes! How thrilling for the ears and the arms to fire a mighty rifle at an unsuspecting animal, as long as it is not the mighty Elk! Yes sir, I must insist that you meet me at lunch time, we shall see my wife and we shall scour the wonderful lands that lie about! I shall let you have some of my exploding hunting ammunition to try out! And even to take with you for self-defence purposes! Of course, your passion for hunting would explain your carrying of an automatic rifle into my country land; worry not, for many of us have these. It is very normal here.”
He hastily scribbles his name and address on a card, which he passes to the German.
“Adolphe Constanz, at your service sir. Please, meet me here for lunch, and I shall have much to show you.”
He turns to
Smith and addresses the same question to the kindly and brave American.
"I have come to store some... items in one of your magnificent banks. Also, I've come to see some of those stunning mountains. I'm sure Colorado could take a tip or two. Any suggestions?"
“Ach! Items… items… Splendid! Here in the banks of Switzerland we love the items! This shall be no problem at all. If I may be so bold, I would heartily recommend the bank Schreiber et Schreiber und Schreiber & Co., it is my uncle’s, but it has a faultless reputation nevertheless. He would be most pleased to hold your items! Now, I have not seen this…
Colorado of which you speak, but if you would like suggestions to make it more stunning, might I put forward the idea of having more of the mighty Elk? Or even benches upon which one can view the mighty Elk? Although, also, 'ere in sometimes French-speaking Switzerland, we also like the, how you say, the
marmotte. Perhaps Colorado needs the
marmotte? Or benches upon which to view the mighty
marmotte? Also, cowbells?”
He waves Smith through after a cursory glance through his papers [5], and signals for McGeenyton to approach.
In that case, explain that we are Englishmen on a vacation to Switzerland, therefore technically telling the truth.
“Harrumph splutter gah! I, sir, am an Englishman coming to visit your wonderful country on holiday harrumph cough porridge! I also have the intention of carrying out some hunting with my revolver. Och.”
The Customs Officer replies in the loud voice one often reserves for talking to foreigners, or those who seem in some way intellectually deficient [2-1 distressing tea penalty+1 calmness bonus+1 undefined bonus].
“You sir, are a very strange man. Normally I should arrest a man such as you, entering into my peaceful nation so heavily armed, but I greatly admire the attractively patterned trim on your walking stick, so I shall let you pass. My wife is very fond of that kind of thing. However, I cannot permit you to keep your extensive armament, and would request that you hand in your duelling swords and your revolver. We do not approve of duelling here in the canton of Geneva, but you may regain your swords and revolver once you have applied for a hunting permit. Permits are required for hunting with revolvers, I am afraid. It has long been the case here amongst the Swiss.”
Item lost! Duelling swords.
Item lost! Revolver.
Caddishness Increased! Switzerland believes one to be intellectually deficient!
Once McGeenyton surrenders his weapons, the three gentleman spies pass through Customs and into the central walkway of the station, where they are approached by what looks like a rather low ranking gentleman. He wears a bowler hat, and is not perfectly shaven. Smith, that expert on English Gentlemannery, notices he has a slight crease in his lower left trouser leg.
“I say,” he says, “Are you the English gentlemen? I have been asked to escort you to your hotel. I was expecting rather more of you.”
McGeenyton, Smith and "G" are in the station with the what looks like a rather low ranking gentleman.
Von Fersen, Link and Wellington are on the Zeppelin with the two-armed German.
The mission is still to prevent the Germans stealing the dispatch case from Geneva Station, left luggage locker 4a; your next stop presumably is the Hotel Masson, where Sir Melville's butler has arranged rooms for you and where you can formulate a plan or something.
Author
Topic: Roll to Be a Gentleman Spy - Chapter Three Part Twenty One. (Read 75059 times)