Chapter Two, Part Two "What is this caddish behaviour, waking us up in the middle of the night? Such dishonour, interrupting our well needed gentlemen's slumber."
Arm myself with umbrella-sword and leave the cabin. If there is not Germans in the corridor (I guess you could call it that?), go into the other cabins and wake up fellow agents.
"Hurry, Mr Link, before the Germans locate us."
Von Fersen jumps out of bed in his night-robe and sleep-cap with a pipe in his mouth [5] in the northernmost cabin, thinking to warn his fellow gentlemen of the potential danger. He locates his umbrella-sword and tries to unlock the door and leave the cabin [1]. The doorknob falls off in his hand!
Item Acquired! Brass Doorknob!
Von Fersen turns round in confused despair.
"Hurry, Mr Link, before the Germans locate us." But Mr Link appears to have left the room. That man truly possesses the stealthiness of the Belgian Ox!
Blow on bagpipes to rouse any assistance that is still sleeping after the commotion, then grab my Walking Bat Stick and prepare for battle.
Smith wakes up in the middle cabin with Link's cry of alarm coming from next door, and his first thought is to blow on his bagpipes as hard as he can, but he obviously hasn't quite mastered the technique, and barely a strangled cat's whisper comes out [2]. Sighing a resigned sigh, he grabs his walking
bat stick with the air of a clearly determined gentleman. He readies himself by the door.
Wake up to the sound of the noise, grab my rifle, check if it's loaded, load if needed, and raise hell take cover.
In the same cabin
“G” wakes up correctly attired upon hearing a great commotion outside his door, grabs his loaded rifle and readies himself for action taking cover in the doorway of the en-suite bathroom [4].
Let the Germans proceed while sitting down. Then, calmly stand and ask what the ruckus was about.
In the southernmost cabin he is sharing with McGeenyton,
Wellington calmly sits up in bed, puts on and adjusts his top hat, and waits.
Prepare my cane gun, tell them to put their hands up.
With a polite knock and a less polite thrust of the door, Germans burst into Wellington and McGeenyton’s sleeping cabin!
McGeenyton fumbles about with his double barrelled cane gun [1+1]. He manages to get it ready as they enter and avoid any accidents, but is too flustered to threaten the cads.
An officious looking German gentleman with an eye patch ushers two men into the cabin before him and then demands, in English:
“Aha! You are the English
pigdogs er I mean spies, are you not! Admit it, and we shall merely arrest you. Resist, and we shall be having der fisticuffs!”
Unflustered, unlike his perhaps less debonair but no less gentlemanly companion McGeenyton who is clearly too offended by this display to retain his calm, Wellington nonchalantly stands up from his bed and asks, in a commanding and British voice,
“What the bloody hell is the meaning of this intrusion? This kind of noise at around 3.13 in the morning is entirely unacceptable! I demand an apology! [1+1]”
The colour of the German’s face deepens to a dark red as his voice becomes high pitched with anger. His voice pierces the air throughout the entire train wagon.
“An apology? Never! Arrest these men!”
The two henchmen on either side of him rush forward to subdue Wellington and McGeenyton as, unseen in the corridor behind, two of the half dozen or so noisy Germans accompanying the German gentleman fall to the ground, clasping their throats as a biscuit flies past in the night [6].
Sneak outside. Offer the Germans some cookies.
In the face.
Having, in a stroke of good fortune, managed to exit the cabin before von Fersen locked himself in,
Mr Link is standing at the end of the corridor, facing down the group of Germans armed with a hidden biscuit.
There are, north to south, three sleeping cabins, 1, 2 and 3.
Von Fersen is locked inside 1. Link is standing outside.
Smith and “G” are preparing for the assault in 2.
All four can hear the German demand for an arrest.
Wellington and McGeenyton are in 3, with two German henchmen and their leader, Helmut von Eyepatch Gruber.
In the dimly lit corridor are 5 Germans and 2 deceased Germans, slain by a single attack from Link’s cookie no jutsu.