"Kanalje!"
Grab umbrella with one hand and strike at my foe with the hot iron in the other.
Enraged at the Germans’ lack of
politesse, von Fersen insults his foe, [5] grabs an umbrella with his off-hand and strikes at the impertinent fellow with the hot iron in the other. The blow is expertly dodged, but von Fersen has time to deliver another blood-curdlingly vicious attack to the German with the umbrella. Caught off guard, the German is hit in the face! His moustache is sheered right off! His visage is horrifically injured! The German passes out with the pain!
“Have it, you scoundrel,” the Swede mutters, looking about the room for another enemy.
Challenge the german who is assaulting Mr. Winston Smith to a duel!
By the doorway Thomas Wallace sees the German violently strike Smith, and, in a clear and comprehensible voice befitting of one of such noble lineage speaking to a foreigner, challenges him to a duel [2].
Unfortunately it becomes clear that the fellow is not just a German, but a cad to boot. He declines the offer of honourable combat and strikes at Wallace without so much as an “En garde!”
His blow is struck true and it seems that Wallace will be struck too, but at the very last instant he raises his trusty claymore and blocks the blow. It shatters the German umbrella! He is disarmed! He is dishonoured! Winston Smith and his evening jacket are, at least temporarily, saved from further punishment.
His tactical retreat covered by Wallace's brave intervention, Smith backs away towards the commode where the revolver was absentmindedly left by Mr Link, but [1] disaster strikes! He falls backwards! No physical damage is done, but he does look a little ungentlemanly, and he is prone and still unarmed!
Seeing his comrade's plight, McGeenyton realises drastic measures are ready.
Use my monocle to set the German on fire with sunlight. If this fails, pistol whip 'em. If THAT fails, just shoot them in the head.
He removes his monocle with the calmness of an iceberg, and attempts to set the German facing him on fire using the natural power of light! But [1] a calamity occurs! He fumbles and drops the monocle to the floor, where it happens [1] to catch the light of the full moon, concentrating it into a powerful beam which sets Sir Melville's curtains alight!
Oblivious to the raging inferno that is risked in the adjoining room, Wellington is facing off the Prussian in the study, and is aware of his
camarade rising from the chess table in the corner of his eye.
Scream upwards dramatically, before straightening my bowtie (#1 priority) and then using my top-hat to trip the blasted fellow.
With blood colder than a myriad glaciers, he [5] straightens his bowtie, admires the marked improvement in the large mirror above the drinks cabinet, and stoops slightly to trip the blasted Prussian before him.
He succeeds admirably, and the Prussian is thrown to the floor, considerably
dazed by the impact. Wellington has time both to glance disapprovingly at his floored assailant and to turn to confront the second fellow in the imposing Crouching Swan, Top-hat of Fury stance.
The German strikes at Wellington with his fists. He seems about to land a stunning blow, but Wellington is ready, and uses the natural grace of his stance to dodge the vengeful fists. He circles his despicable foe.
Back in the drawing room, oblivious to the encroaching flames, the German that McGeenyton tried to set alight attempts to fight back against this horrifically gentlemanly attack. He strikes with his umbrella! McGeenyton dodges!
The remaining German in the room, the one who originally stumbled into the room like a youngster stealing his first taste of father's brandy, leaps over Sir Melville's desk to take on the great man himself. He leaps over! He attempts to land a punch! Sir Melville sidesteps niftily, and, faced with a counterblow, the off balance German falls into the burning curtain. He struggles to put himself out, and as he does so he smashes straight throught the sash window! He falls 40 feet! He bruises his skull! He breaks his kidney! He appears to be deceased!
Out in the hallway, the sinister looking German with the shotgun advances, aiming down the gunsight at the occupied Sir Melville who appears to be looking for his miniature bell to summon a servant to deal with the broken glass. He reaches the doorway.
Just as it seems he is about to fire, Mr John Link jumps out from behind!
SNEAK ATTACK, SUCKER!
But in a gentlemanly manner. Vulcan neck pinch or something like that.
[1] In a very gentlemanly manner, Link clears his throat.
“I say old chap,” he begins.
Whatever his intentions were are unclear. Did Link wish to deliver a solid blow to the German’s face? Did he wish to chide him severely for his lack of manners and hope that the German would die of embarrassment? We may never know.
The German spins round in surprise and fires with one barrel as he turns!
He misses – presumably because of the astonishing dodge Link performs which begins with a headlong dive into the wall and ends with the English gentleman prostrate on the floor clutching his liver.
“Hände hoch!” orders the German swine, “Get up und surrender in the name of the Kaiser!”
He is pointing the still half loaded shotgun at Link’s chest. In his own inimitable way, John Link has saved the life of Sir Melville.
Trait Acquired! Heroic Incompetence (+1 to likelihood of terrible incompetence having a somehow beneficial outcome)
Clarification edit:
There appear to be the shotgun armed German attempting to capture Mr John Link just outside the drawing room, two Germans in the study with Wellington, McGeenyton's German, and Wallace's, both in the drawing room. There is a flaming and apparently deceased German on the pavement below Sir Melville's rooms. His liver is broken. One assumes a servant will handle this matter appropriately. Sir Melville's curtains are ablaze.