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[Stoup]

The first artifact ever in my fort is a cedar bow. Yeah. But it gets better: On the bow there is carved the symbol of the civilization's god of caring and forgiveness.

I tried to make one of my dwarves actually use it but he refused to touch the bloody thing.

[Imakuni]

It's these stupid artifacts that make me not be able to wait for the addition of curses/magic in this game.

If Toady does add magical attributes to artifacts, then who knows what that mitten would do?

Maybe it would allow your dwarf to punch with the might of one thousand bronze colossi?

Maybe it would give your dwarf invulnerability in that hand?

Maybe it would curse them to turn any object they touch into vomit?

The possibilities...

(Also, I might add, that I hope there is an eventual fix to the recursive artifact "bug", a good 40% of my artifacts display pictures of themselves.)

Correlate with the name and allow the wearer to rain meteors down from the sky with a flick of the wrist?

[jaxy15]

Candy shield.

Sure, it has good blocking capabilities, but it's made of FREAKING CANDY.

Hell, I had a freaking LEAD shield in one of my previous forts, and that was an awesome artifact. I also had a gold buckler, that was cool too.

[Wimopy]

Adamantine Figurine, old savefile so I don't have it anymore, but hell... At least the crafter made a few masterwork items to compensate.
On the bright side, it didn't even resemble an elf, so it wasn't blasphemy (from that point of view).

Now then again, if it was magic like DoctorMonch said.... and if it didn't even resemble and elf... It might have been epic (although I can imagine random magic effects would mean something like... poisoning anyone who touches it and such... DON'T TOUCH MY GOD FIGURINE!)

[Vonyx]

In my current fortress I have 21 artefacts, all almost worthless.

Could provide pic if anyone interested.

[Dwarven WMD]

If I remember correctly, one of my dwarves annexed my smithing area that I had just managed to import the anvil for, then he proceeded to make another anvil from what I gave him. What are the odds?

[kaijyuu]

Pretty much all the pig tail rings, orthoclase amulets, and other useless junk qualifies as idiotic.


In my current fort I had someone make a figurine out of raw adamantine. On the plus side, it was depicting a dwarf getting eaten by a voracious cave crawler, and that's kinda awesome. Too bad it wasn't a statue or I'd stick it prominently in my fort to remind my dwarves of their inevitable fate.

[CriticallyAshamed]

Candy shield.

Sure, it has good blocking capabilities, but it's made of FREAKING CANDY.

Just imagine when your fearsome hero is locked into an extreme battle against 5 enemies... He blocks 3 sword strokes, dodges a 4th and closes in on one of the evil doers! He raises his mighty shield and BASHES the foe in the face! With the equivalent of an inflatable baseball bats worth of weight.

[Ieb]

It was probably when a guy made an artifact quern. A few artifacts before a BETTER artifact quern had been made. I figure he was just jealous, made up an insane plan but failed due to his own incompetence.

Seriously, I set up a milling industry ONLY because of that spiffy quern they made.
I don't need another one, ever.

At least it ended up decorating some room in the fort. Probably the dining hall.

[Xotano]

a trapdoor/hatch with a pic of an artifact hood one of my guys made beforehand

[Saint]

Mine was a amulet with the diety of profit and trade on it.
I prompty traded it off right away for food.

If you could trade it away, it wasn't an artifact.

My most useless artifacts are usually things like pine amulets made from a single log, thus having only one minor decoration. Woo.

Strange because the creator entered a fey mood then made it.
that's really strange.

[Wurgel]

as far as i know there is still the bug, that you can "trade" it. It can be moved to the depot and traded, but the merchants wont take it with them.

[Xotano]

also to check your artifacts hit l as in L but lowercase incase anyone needs that info tho its perfectly visable ingame

[Agent_Irons]

I was actually quite disappointed in my dwarves for making titanium bracelets and so on, until one of them made a steel left gauntlet. I gave it to my militia commander and melted down all existing armor, and got to reforging. I clearcut the map and the first cavern layer for charcoal.

[Tehsapper]

Larch crown, decorated with highwood. No, seriously. It was worth only 2100*.
But I was playin an mesoamerican city in jungles or else I would force the creator and his useless crown to take a nice hot magma bath, because he obviously was an bearded elf.