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Author Topic: Dwarven... "Child Care"  (Read 625842 times)

Tomcost

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #885 on: March 07, 2013, 11:20:02 am »

It's not the zombies that are going to be doing the fighting. That's just so that you don't have rotting corpses, and so you have zombies in a cage for later use. My basic plan was this, with the question numbers for why I needed to ask them (cats can be replaced with a suitable animal that is a pet):

Firstly, you find a crazy cat-dwarf who is likely to go beserk if you drive him mad. Breed cats. Give cats. Put cats in cages.
Secondly, you get a necromancer, and put him somewhere where he can raise zombies. (1)
Thirdly, you get the cats, and tie enough up with the child to get reasonable training.
After that, you drive their owner mad, making the beserk cats attack the children. (2)
Once the child has had enough training for a bit, you drop pain on the cats, and the necromancer zombifies them, trapping them in a cage due to being wild zombies. These cats can be reserved for later use. The child, meanwhile is in a safe place and is not hit by pain. (3)
Finally, you move the captured animals, and replace them with more of your beserk cat storage. The child is left to put on some clothes and fill their booze-starved stomachs. (4)
Rinse, wash, repeat.

Seems as a good plan overall, but it is clear that you haven't put it into practice.
Consider these questions:
-A pet becomes mad after its owner does? (I think that it just happens with merchants)
-How will you kill the cats without harming the child?
-Do you plan to include some kind of medical care to this plan? Claws and teeth cause quite a lot of bleeding
-Why would you use a necromancer? The idea is to make the child fight crazed cats

If this plan proves successful it will have a great chance of failre anyway, as the cats, even if the child is not unconcious, can get a lucky scratch to the head/throat, or they could sever nerves, leaving your children crippled forever

Eotyrannus

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #886 on: March 07, 2013, 11:33:10 am »

It's not the zombies that are going to be doing the fighting. That's just so that you don't have rotting corpses, and so you have zombies in a cage for later use. My basic plan was this, with the question numbers for why I needed to ask them (cats can be replaced with a suitable animal that is a pet):

Firstly, you find a crazy cat-dwarf who is likely to go beserk if you drive him mad. Breed cats. Give cats. Put cats in cages.
Secondly, you get a necromancer, and put him somewhere where he can raise zombies. (1)
Thirdly, you get the cats, and tie enough up with the child to get reasonable training.
After that, you drive their owner mad, making the beserk cats attack the children. (2)
Once the child has had enough training for a bit, you drop pain on the cats, and the necromancer zombifies them, trapping them in a cage due to being wild zombies. These cats can be reserved for later use. The child, meanwhile is in a safe place and is not hit by pain. (3)
Finally, you move the captured animals, and replace them with more of your beserk cat storage. The child is left to put on some clothes and fill their booze-starved stomachs. (4)
Rinse, wash, repeat.

Seems as a good plan overall, but it is clear that you haven't put it into practice.
Consider these questions:
-A pet becomes mad after its owner does? (I think that it just happens with merchants)
-How will you kill the cats without harming the child?
-Do you plan to include some kind of medical care to this plan? Claws and teeth cause quite a lot of bleeding
-Why would you use a necromancer? The idea is to make the child fight crazed cats

If this plan proves successful it will have a great chance of failre anyway, as the cats, even if the child is not unconcious, can get a lucky scratch to the head/throat, or they could sever nerves, leaving your children crippled forever

Yeah, I'm doing a bit of dwarven theory first. I'm still a newbie to the game.
Well, my experience with the yak seemed like good enough proof, since the yak went insane with the same type of insanity as one of my dwarves.
Well, the cats are chained up to predictable squares, so you'd just need a way to get the child into a safe spot before you drop pain on the said predictable spots.
If we just dropped a rock on all the cats, then it would fill with corpses, which are likely to rot. If they are instantly turned into zombies, and are trapped in a cage, then they will both stay fresh and are a reusable resource for the rest of the military to fight.

Yeah, I didn't think cats would work. They were just the first I thought of, since I couldn't remember what everyone had decided the optimum beast was.
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Tomcost

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #887 on: March 07, 2013, 11:39:54 am »

There is no optimum beast. I tried using a broken baby hand and it killed a child in 15 seconds. The child got unconcious quite quickly and only managed to counterattack once. The battle report is a handful of posts ago.

Eotyrannus

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #888 on: March 07, 2013, 11:46:45 am »

Baby hands are zombies, therefore they kill stuff anyway. Weren't people talking about turkeys to be used? They might've been too strong.
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Tomcost

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #889 on: March 07, 2013, 11:52:24 am »

Baby hands are zombies, therefore they kill stuff anyway. Weren't people talking about turkeys to be used? They might've been too strong.

Crazy animals kil the same way, they don't stop until they are dead

Eotyrannus

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #890 on: March 07, 2013, 11:55:29 am »

Baby hands are zombies, therefore they kill stuff anyway. Weren't people talking about turkeys to be used? They might've been too strong.

Crazy animals kil the same way, they don't stop until they are dead

Wouldn't that do well for a very weak animal (insane rats perhaps)? It'd train dodging quite quickly, and they'd be better than zombies, since they have physical limits and don't get a power-up. If the child is in danger, then rocks fall, training dummies die.
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Girlinhat

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #891 on: March 07, 2013, 12:05:34 pm »

You guys have missed the whole point.  You put perfectly tame, ordinary, mundane animals into an enclosed space.  Animals in cramped spaces will naturally cause battle reports, infrequently, without intentionally trying to kill.  You're effectively making a too-small pasture, and putting the child in with it.

Cats turned out to have too sharp of claws, causing bleeding wounds that would become infected and thus kill.  Turkeys actually became preferred due to their small size and poor attacks.  Hence the infamous name, "Turkeycage of Horrors."

Eotyrannus

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #892 on: March 07, 2013, 12:57:41 pm »

So we just use normal turkeys, then. And THEN drop rocks on their heads and trap their zombies in cages.
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Tomcost

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #893 on: March 07, 2013, 02:18:56 pm »

You guys have missed the whole point.  You put perfectly tame, ordinary, mundane animals into an enclosed space.  Animals in cramped spaces will naturally cause battle reports, infrequently, without intentionally trying to kill.  You're effectively making a too-small pasture, and putting the child in with it.

Cats turned out to have too sharp of claws, causing bleeding wounds that would become infected and thus kill.  Turkeys actually became preferred due to their small size and poor attacks.  Hence the infamous name, "Turkeycage of Horrors."

Well, my idea was to create a more efficient way of training combat skills than random turkey attacks, while still allowing the child to survive. Yet I discovered that a baby hand can crush child skulls by SCRATCHING, so, well, the turkeycage is the best idea until now (or until we find an inoffensive animal which wheights less than a baby hand)

Girlinhat

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #894 on: March 07, 2013, 02:23:47 pm »

That being the main issue.  Hostile creatures will actively kill, while domestic enclosures will simple scuffle.

Tomcost

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #895 on: March 07, 2013, 02:36:27 pm »

Yes, I know, I was hoping the child to kill it, but it kept running and not attacking, but it also has to do with the room being too big (about 2x8 or something close to that).

As I don't have much experience in things that are not dismembering bodies and making zombies, I'm going to try to do this with a teethless baby bunny head and see what happens

Girlinhat

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #896 on: March 07, 2013, 03:13:05 pm »

The exact same thing.  The head will constantly attack, while the child will refuse to attack, and eventually die.

Tomcost

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #897 on: March 07, 2013, 03:17:26 pm »

The exact same thing.  The head will constantly attack, while the child will refuse to attack, and eventually die.

Can't it counterattack at least? in an enclosed space the kid would be cornered and then the only option would be to fight. I just hope that the head proves light enough to not be able to break the skull. if the child gives in to pain, we open the cell and kill the head.
I'm traing to contribute with the little knowledge of this game tha I have, anyway

Girlinhat

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #898 on: March 07, 2013, 03:22:17 pm »

The problem is that dwarves aren't people.  Especially children.  They don't fight back, not reliably.  Maybe one strike in a month, on accident, but without training they're not going to do any counters at all.  On top of that, the zombie head is literally out for blood and will never stop until it manages to kill the child.

Zombies do not work here because they are too ruthless.

Tomcost

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #899 on: March 07, 2013, 03:28:12 pm »

I see. Well, I will think of another way of improving the low efficiency of this method, as zombies are going to be able to be pulped in the next release anyway. (I will still try to do the rabbit head thing, but just for fun)
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