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[Oliolli]

As in Berserk? How about a solution to melancholies: an execution tower that drops targets into a meeting hall, so that when a dwarf gets struck by melancholy, they can jump off the tower and splatter in the meeting hall, slightly hardening anyone there.

[Eddren]

'Waaaaah!' *splat*
'What is this, I don't even..'

[loopylung]

On the topic of melting fat off children...

Does it have to be fire/magma? I'm in a scorching biome, and I wonder if it's possible to have an open chamber in the sun that will melt every ounce of fat off the kid over the course of 11 years. I know it only takes a few days to cover a dwarf in blisters. What happens when they stay outside for years?

[loopylung]

By the way, this is possibly the dwarfiest thing I have seen in a while.

[Girlinhat]

1: We have an edit button, try not to double-post.
2: Heat has been severely nerfed.  In previous versions, if a dwarf was wet and in a scorching biome (ie, outside in the rain) then the water would heat up so much to melt their fat, cause bleeding, and death.  Steam was also very lethal, with lignite bins used to cause pressure cookers for goblins to simmer in.  This has been "fixed" though it would be fun to still have.  Particularly hot areas can cause this, but it has to be pretty damn hot, above what the vanilla generator will produce.  You could use advanced worldgen and manually paint the specific temperature for an area, to ensure fat-melting temperature, but then you still run into the problem of medical care and bleeding.  Perhaps if it's right on the temperature threshold, it will only melt during summer, and cause controlled bleeding.

[peskyninja]

  Perhaps if it's right on the temperature threshold, it will only melt during summer, and cause controlled

Controlled,are you sure? 

[Eddren]

Well, tell me..
..Can you open a Floodgate to allow a dwarf outside?
Can you then get that dwarf back inside?
Can you close the Floodgate again?
Yes?
Well, there you go.

[Ethnar]

Just wanted to throw in my results:

2 test subjects.
2x2 room for each of them, 1 bed each, good quality roasts and wine. For the flavor they were actually kept in "cages" hanging right above magma floor, with support connecting it with ceiling. Bridges made to allow dropping animals/food.
Subject 1 - child in age of 5. Company of 8 dogs.
Subject 2 - child in age of 6. Company of 5 dogs.

After 3 years subject 2 was caught with a mood. At the time he was dabbling wrestler, striker, fighter, dodger and armor user (subject born on site, no clothing equipped). Multiple wounds reported on both the subject and dogs. Test chamber was designated to be submerged in magma and destroyed. Subject 2 - cause of death: drowning (in magma).

Subject 1 died at the age of 10. Last report made at the age of 8. At the time, subject was Adequate Dodger and Fighter, Novice Armor User and Dabbling Wrestler and Striker. Multiple wounds and scars. Worth noting is that subject had sibling to die (failed mood) and despite being very unhappy it survived that period without incidents. One of the dogs died of infection year before experiment was concluded. Test chamber was designated to be submerged in magma and destroyed. Subject 1 - cause of death: infection.

Conclusion: the project certainly has potential. Further adjustment would be necessary to reduce mortality rate of subjects. We're looking at a very thin line where subjects survives, yet the experience delivered allows key skills to develop.

[Buttery_Mess]

Wouldn't it be easiest to just  pasture a vast number of, say, chicks in the kid's bedroom and then lock the door? I always have chicksplosion problems anyway.

[Girlinhat]

That's the theory behind the experiment, at basis.  In practice, you'll want to balance out the reproduction rate of the animals, the mood of the child to avoid insanity, and not killing the child.  There's a fine balance of "child is suffering" and "child is dead".

[Wannazzaki]

My current fort has 3 pages of children and babies. This could be a good way of getting rid o-er...erm. Making them useful.

In WARHAMMER FANTASY ogre young that aren't fat are thrown into pitch black caves to die, or fight and survive. This results in horribly violent, insane, emaciated albino ogres. Dwarf children becomming a little too "underground" adapted from this?


Diuur not 40k.

[Girlinhat]

What happens to the fat ones?

[Wannazzaki]

They get raised as ogres.

[King DZA]

What I imagine Girlinhat's fortress children to be like when she's not looking
Replace "Ms. hannigan" with "Ms. Girlinhat", orphanage with dwarf fortress, and I think it fits rather nicely.

Although, to be honest, this is what I imagine every player's fortress children to be like to be like when they're not looking.

[Ifeno]

This thread is the reason people look at me funny when i discuss this game in public.